Good evening Russ.
First who said the neutral and ground are tied together at the substation?
I didn't.
In the US, a pair of transmission wires, single phase no Earth (the company feed) are brought to the company side of the consumer supply transformer (actually owned by the company I believe but I'm not sure about that). That is the primary.
The consumer is supplied from a centre tapped secondary on this transformer. The centre tap is earthed locally. The two halves of the 'split phase' are used to supply the consumer 120 outlets and the whole secondary used to supply any 240 heavy demand installations.
As far as possible the split phases are balanced but in any event their current draw does not affect the current through the primary circuit terminals, only its magnitude.
The other point of this is that the consumer is electrically isolated from other consumers and cannot unbalance their supplies, since the consumer is in the secondary and the feed supply in the primary.
In British practice, on the other hand, imagine the effect of multiple grounding one of the two main conductors of a phase. All the phase current would be routed directly to local ground, leaving serious unbalance in the (neutral) return conductor.
The British consumer is not electrically isolated from his neighbour and what he does affects the neighbours supply.