Why People Get Married: Is Marriage Just a License to Sex?

[loseyourname]

you claim that the only conclusion "you" (meaning whom??) can draw from marriage is that you don't respect the sanctity of it...let me ask you, do you live with a woman, and are you committed to her?

I don't live with anyone, nor am I committed to anyone. I meant that the only conclusion you can draw from my own marriage is that I do not respect the institution. This was in response to the poster who was trying to show that marriage is about nothing but sex by demonstrating through the behavior of married couples that that is what they are after. I was just providing a counterexample. An extreme counterexample, but even so. I don't think marriage is about sex.

then you state that marriage can be terminated, and . so by your definition, anyone living together, engaging in sex, etc can be married in the emotional sense?

I'm not saying there's any such thing as marriage in the emotional sense. Vows are not emotional in nature. Ideally they should be binding, even if not legally so.

well, there is a certain amount of courage and effort to getting married to someone you love in the long term sense because as one who is legally married, I am taking a certain amount of responsibility for another person. the difference between an "emotional" marriage and a legal marriage is, if my husband needs a decision made for him should he be on life support (as an example), it will be me making those decisions for his well being rather then his parents.

Some of the same responsibilities and duties were bestowed upon married couples in pre-legal societies. They just didn't sign anything or get a state license or anything like that. I'm not saying that the simple act of being emotionally committed to someone makes you married. You have to go through a union ceremony of some sort that is binding to some degree. It just doesn't have to be legally recognized, especially in early societies that had no legal bodies to do the recognizing.

if you live with another person and are "emotionally" married to them, your legal right to make decisions for them go to their family. Sure, you may be committed to them soley, but the fact is, when you take that step in legally tying your self to them, that defines how much you are willing to give and do for someone else.

This actually depends. In some states, if you co-habitate for seven years, you are legally married, whether you get the license and take the vows or not. Full responsibilities and full benefits.

Marriage is scary, I know because I just RE-married. But, in the western society at least, when you do tie the knot, you are willing to involve the legal complications which is what ultimately sets marriage apart from just co-habitating.

I know. I was never trying to equate cohabitation with marriage. But responsibility does not have to be legal responsibility, especially in societies that do not have laws. That was all I was talking about.

 

[plus]

Is marriage only a licensce to sex?

Obviously not as you can get it all the time.
Marriage has been downgraded in our society, with most marriages ending in divorce. Both men and women have to go out to work to support themselves in this materialistic world, and the both gain the male personality of the hunter.
Originally marriage was a good meme which produced children.