Your wish is granted: You now know all the answers, but nobody believes you.

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The discussion revolves around a playful and humorous game where participants grant wishes in a twisted manner, leading to ironic and often disastrous outcomes. Each wish is followed by a response that grants it in the worst possible way, highlighting the absurdity of the requests. For example, wishing for less spam results in the deletion of an email server, and wishing for a job leads to becoming a suicide bomber. The game showcases creativity and wit, with participants crafting increasingly elaborate and ridiculous scenarios. The tone remains light-hearted, emphasizing the humorous consequences of seemingly innocent wishes. Overall, the thread serves as a comedic exploration of the classic "be careful what you wish for" trope.
  • #31
Granted. Unfortunately by misspelling "balloon" you have received a rowing vessel formerly used in various parts of the Indies. Enjoy.
Sweet!

I wish everybody got what they wanted from Christmas.
Granted, but it causes a major disaster in the economy that takes years to recover from. But, hey, at least you got that new TV right?

EDIT: Forgot a wish:

I wish for a glass of ice tea.
 
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  • #32
Cyclovenom said:
Granted, but they are all twisted wishes.

I wish everybody got what they wanted from Christmas.

Granted. But everything will be repossessed when you can't pay the credit card bills.

I wish I had a round tuit.

PS: By the way, what's so bad about having a rowing vessel formerly used in various parts of the Indies? That sounds kind of neat.
 
  • #33
SticksandStones said:
I wish for a glass of ice tea.

Granted, but it's a very large glass and immmediately after you drink it your ureters will swell shut.

BobG said:
I wish I had a round tuit.
Granted. But now that you've finally got a round tuit you're just too tired to mess with it...holidays and all that rot.

I wish I had x-ray vision.
 
  • #34
Granted. You cannot see soft tissue at all and can't identify people. you also have a tendency to walk into soft things like shrubs, cardboard boxes and the like. Your associates have a rather higher incidence of cancer than you'd like.

I wish that I could drive.
 
  • #35
matthyaouw said:
Granted. You cannot see soft tissue at all and can't identify people. you also have a tendency to walk into soft things like shrubs, cardboard boxes and the like. Your associates have a rather higher incidence of cancer than you'd like.
Good one,I LOVE IT!

matthyaouw said:
I wish that I could drive.
Granted, but your license is for "Oxen-drawn cart only", the year is 1846, and you just met a man named George Donner.

EDIT: DANGIT! I wish I could remember to make a wish.
 
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  • #36
I think you need a wish Echo.
 
  • #37
Mk said:
I think you need a wish Echo.

I wish Echo 6 Sierra would make a wish.
 
  • #38
Echo 6 Sierra said:
EDIT: DANGIT! I wish I could remember to make a wish.
Your wish is granted. You are consumed with the desire to place wishes in this game, displacing all other activities in your life (assuming you had any to start with, of course).:rolleyes:

I wish Zotchie (my cat) was just slightly less feral in her behavior.

(It's easy to come up with a wish when one is in the process of losing one's toes to the vicious little beast even as one types.)
 
  • #39
twisting_edge said:
I wish Zotchie (my cat) was just slightly less feral in her behavior.

Granted, your cat has become so domesticated it starts sleeping in your bed and using the bathroom when you need to use it.

I wish for world peace.
 
  • #40
theCandyman said:
I wish for world peace.
Your wish is granted. A dictator takes over the entire world and enslaves all the people. Those that would resist have been entirely eradicated.

I wish my car ran well without consuming any fuel.

P.S.: Zotchie already sleeps on the bed (the more easily to fang me at her leisure when she wakes up for a midnight snack), and uses the bathroom when I do.
 
  • #41
theCandyman said:
Granted, your cat has become so domesticated it starts sleeping in your bed and using the bathroom when you need to use it.

I wish for world peace.

Granted. The Sun will become a red giant, bringing everlasting peace on Earth.

I wish I had some sunscreen.
 
  • #42
BobG said:
Granted. The Sun will become a red giant, bringing everlasting peace on Earth.

I wish I had some sunscreen.

Granted. Unfortunately, it's tuna fish flavored sunscreen and now a pack of feral cats follows you everywhere you go.

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner.
 
  • #43
Math Is Hard said:
I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner.

I can't resist...your wish is granted. Unfortunately, you discover that Oscar Mayer is more twisted than your wish and dips his weiner into places you never wanted to go (it was tough keeping this one PG-13 :smile:).

I wish I had someone to do my laundry for me.
 
  • #44
Moonbear said:
I can't resist...your wish is granted. Unfortunately, you discover that Oscar Mayer is more twisted than your wish and dips his weiner into places you never wanted to go (it was tough keeping this one PG-13 :smile:).

I wish I had someone to do my laundry for me.
Your wish is granted. The big, trollish-looking fellow who lives by the bridge takes your clothes down to the river and pounds them with rocks. Unfortunately, you are still wearing them.

I wish that my (t)rusty old Nissan pickup would never wear out.
 
  • #45
Moonbear said:
I can't resist...your wish is granted. Unfortunately, you discover that Oscar Mayer is more twisted than your wish and dips his weiner into places you never wanted to go (it was tough keeping this one PG-13 :smile:).

I wish I had someone to do my laundry for me.

Granted. I'll do your laundry for you. You don't mind if everything comes out the same color, right? It'll make it easier to color coordinate your outfits. You're not too picky about the size either, right? The tighter, the better.

I really wish I had ...

No, wait, I can't just repeat the same wish.

I wish I had a leaf blower.
 
  • #46
Moonbear said:
I wish I had someone to do my laundry for me.
Your wish is granted. You are now married to Quasimodo.

I wish they'd quit cutting down all the trees on my street.
 
  • #47
Your wish is granted. The trees grow so large, that they cause damage to the power lines and catch fire.

I wish for a new tree.
 
  • #48
I had no idea so many people would jump to do my laundry! :smile:

turbo-1 said:
I wish that my (t)rusty old Nissan pickup would never wear out.

BobG said:
I wish I had a leaf blower.

twisting_edge said:
I wish they'd quit cutting down all the trees on my street.

All three are granted: they quit cutting down all the trees on t_e's street, and start cutting down all the ones in BobG's neighborhood instead. Unfortunately, they have also delivered all the leaf blowers to BobG's neighborhood, so all the leaves dropped by the new forest growing in t_e's neighborhood must be raked by hand. turbo's pick up never wears out, but it also never turns off and sounds a lot like a leaf blower running all night long. His neighbors are threatening to club him with the logs they collected from BobG's neighborhood.

Well, since I got such wonderful help with the laundry...:smile:...I wish for a new wardrobe.
 
  • #49
Moonbear said:
I had no idea so many people would jump to do my laundry! :smile:







All three are granted: they quit cutting down all the trees on t_e's street, and start cutting down all the ones in BobG's neighborhood instead. Unfortunately, they have also delivered all the leaf blowers to BobG's neighborhood, so all the leaves dropped by the new forest growing in t_e's neighborhood must be raked by hand. turbo's pick up never wears out, but it also never turns off and sounds a lot like a leaf blower running all night long. His neighbors are threatening to club him with the logs they collected from BobG's neighborhood.

Well, since I got such wonderful help with the laundry...:smile:...I wish for a new wardrobe.

Granted. You've just inherited all the costumes from 'Brady Bunch, The Movie'.

I wish togas were back in style.
 
  • #50
BobG said:
I wish togas were back in style.
Your wish is granted. You now live with a bunch of people who watched Animal House far too many times for their (or anyone else's) good.

I wish I were as good at coming up with wishes as I am at the snappy answers.

[edit: the original wish was "I wish I had a really powerful computer", but I changed it immediately...evidently not soon enough, though.]
 
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  • #51
twisting_edge said:
I wish I were as good at coming up with wishes as I am at the snappy answers.]
Your wish is granted. Now you can't come up with snappy answers OR wishes.

I wish I had turkey sandwich.
 
  • #52
Evo said:
Your wish is granted. Now you can't come up with snappy answers OR wishes.

I wish I had turkey sandwich.
Your wish is granted. You have dry breast meat on white bread with no mayo seasonings, or anything else. Unfortunately, that is the only food you get from now on.

I wish it was tomorrow already, so I can eat the from-scratch pumpkin pie that's in the oven.
 
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  • #53
turbo-1 said:
I wish it was tomorrow already, so I can eat the from-scratch pumpkin pie that's in the oven.

Granted, unfortunately, the pumpkin pie is STILL in the oven and burnt to little more than ashes by morning, but you get to enjoy licking up the dust.

I wish I had woken up a few hours earlier today to have gotten a few more chores done by now.
 
  • #54
Your wish is granted! From now on, every day you wake up - it will be November 22nd, 2006. After several repeating days, you will either figure out an efficient way to perform these chores in less time, thereby creating additional open time - or - you will decide the chores are unnecessary, and then you will have lots of available time.

I wish I didn't have to learn and remember tasks in my office.
 
  • #55
McGyver said:
I wish I didn't have to learn and remember tasks in my office.

You forget all your tasks because you think they aren't necessary. Then you get fired by your boss who says you can't remember a thing. You fall into despair and life the rest of your life regretting that statement.

I wish I had a very powerful computer.
 
  • #56
Neohaven said:
I wish I had a very powerful computer.
Did you ever hit the jackpot this time! You not only have a very powerful computer, it runs a new, improved, Very Powerful Operating System, guaranteed to crash every five minutes since no one else has run it often enough to find the millions of bugs in the code.

I wish Evo would quit watching Oprah.
 
  • #57
twisting_edge said:
I wish Evo would quit watching Oprah.

:smile: Granted! She instead watches Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil faithfully and psychoanalyzes your every move. She's diagnosed you with half of the disorders in the DSM IV, all based upon your reluctance to buy her a Teddy Ruxpin.

I wish for a good night's sleep tonight.
 
  • #58
Moonbear said:
I wish for a good night's sleep tonight.
Your wish is granted, except you sleep so soundly that you don't hear the group of homeless people that break into your house and decide to eat your Thanksgiving leftovers around the campfire they've built in the middle of your living room.

I wish Twisting_Edge owned a TV (we could watch Oprah together in our matching housecoats and fuzzy slippers).

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/3470/honesty5b15ddm3.jpg
 
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  • #59
Evo said:
I wish Twisting_Edge owned a TV (we could watch Oprah together in our matching housecoats and fuzzy slippers).
Your wish is granted. I now own a $6,000 wide-screen HDTV. Being the parsimonious little creep I am, I immediately turn around and sell it, socking the money away where no auditor will ever find it.

I wish I owned my own business again.
 
  • #60
Granted. Your new business does the accounting for numerous types of medical practitioners, including Evo's psychotherapist practice.

I wish all women were irrestibly attracted to me and my every whim!
 

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