- #1
Schrodinger's Dog
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- 7
From the sublime to the pirate :)
I hope I'm not breaking any rules here by proselytising but come on we got italian food.
Ok FSM is the one true way of belief, and I have recently converted, anyone else in
Anyone know who produced that graph.
I'll let you in a little secret.
It's FSM, my religion of choice as an agnostic and evolutionist.
We got pirates and pizza, cmon over to the dark side, you know you want t
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Category:FSM
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
Sorry it's so long, really needed a sort of spoiler tag, but I don't think PF does it.
I hope I'm not breaking any rules here by proselytising but come on we got italian food.
Ok FSM is the one true way of belief, and I have recently converted, anyone else in
[/URL]Ivan Seeking said:MK, that's fine if you intend to devote the next ten years of your life to the subject. Otherwise, do-it-yourself science is for crackpots. The controversey wrt this subject is all the more proof that this is the domain of experts.
http://img181.imageshack.us/img181/7348/piratesarecoolct8.jpg
Anyone know who produced that graph.
I'll let you in a little secret.
It's FSM, my religion of choice as an agnostic and evolutionist.
We got pirates and pizza, cmon over to the dark side, you know you want t
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Category:FSM
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster
Sorry it's so long, really needed a sort of spoiler tag, but I don't think PF does it.
Overview
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a composite deity composed of two separate, and distinct parts. It is the central point of worship in the religion commonly known as Flying Spaghetti Monsterism or Pastafarianism, according to which it is The Creator and Overseer, watching our lives and our world, changing them as it sees fit. Bobby Henderson is the guru of this religion. He too, has huge, spicy meatballs.
Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most edible and fastest-growing religion.
The One True Monster
Though he is called Monster, he really is not one, he is the love of all lives, hence "Flying Spaghetti Lover" (yes with BIG BIG Noodly Appendages, so non-gays BEWARE). As previously noted, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is composed of two separate, and distinct parts (three if it happens to be covered in Parmesan cheese):
The Major Pastaer
* The Flying: This part of the Flying Spaghetti Monster gives it flight, allowing it to span infinite distances in infinitesimal spans of time. This part is irreducibly complex, hyper-real (see Weird Calculus), and cannot be broken down into components. Doing so – if it were even possible, and it isn't – would incur the wrath of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is proven by this series of math-like squiggles:
The original formula revealed to Pastafarian scholars did not include the butter and toast element, which is necessary to relate kittens to antigravity. The Flying Spaghetti Monster inspired this revision one day He skipped breakfast.
* The Spaghetti Monster: This is commonly recognized as the "body" of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and, unlike its other major counterpart, is composed of several smaller sections. These are called the Minor Pastaer.
The Minor Pastaer
* The Meatera:It is a symbol of strength and fortitude. This is the source of the Flying Spaghetti Monster's power.
* The Spaghettien: Proceeds from the Meatera. Also known as the "Noodly Appendage," this allows for the Flying Spaghetti Monster to extend its grasp across the reaches of the universe, affecting everything and anything.
* The Saucon: Issues forth from the Meatara and the Spaghettien. This is the veil of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Through this, it is unseen and intangible, but allows it to affect anything and everything at will. There is a great deal more documentation on this phenomenon, but I wish to keep this section from being too lengthy. It also allows the Flying Spaghetti Monster to cloak itself as different images, such as Dinosaurs.
Religion
“Arrrr. To be a good follower of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, ye should drink much rum and surround yerself with as many buxom wenches as possible.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Flying Spaghetti Monsterism
The largest and most widely recognized church of His Noodliness, the United Church is often said to have existed since the dawn of midgits
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the sole deity in the monotheistic religion known as Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (FSMism pronounced 'effessmisum'). It has widely been accepted as fact that this, and only this is the true religion, just as the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the true Creator and Overseer.
Like the Bible, much of Flying Spaghetti Monsterist lore was passed from generation to generation, much like The Odyssey, The Iliad, and The Simpsons. This was, of course, until it was codified in 1492. There are numerous records of this event as well. The foremost expert on this matter, Bobby Henderson (pasta be upon him), is a descendent of the original codifier.
Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the true religion. Much like the trickster, God, of Christianity, the Flying Spaghetti Monster also deceives the scientific world. This is possible only because the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the only all-powerful being, and only all-powerful beings can change laboratory results unbeknownst to their finders, showing that the Flying Spaghetti Monster must, in fact, exist. Bear in mind that His ways are mysterious, and there are numerous texts that explain why.
There are at least 18,000 Flying Spaghetti Monsterists in the world today, but due to persecution, they often remain in hiding. However, a recent movement by Bobby Henderson, the foremost expert on Flying Spaghetti Monsterism and descendant of The Codifier shows promise in bringing them into the spotlight.
Monsterist Sects
There are various known sects of modern Monsterism, from the tight-knit Orthodox Monsterist Church of West Virginia and Southern Québec, to the loosely associated Pastapharians of the Caribbean, to the Flaspamonists of South Central Los Angeles, the Underground FSMer's of Westford, the Mystical Order of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the Moomin Church of His Spaghettiness of Jersey (channel Islands), the other Moomon Church of His Spaghettiness, and the open-minded, deeply Piratian First United Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
A heretical sect, the Reformed Church of Alfredo, is in deep opposition to the mainstream Monsterists, as is SPAM (Spaghetti & Pulsar Activating Meatballs), another FSM splinter group. Claiming to have The One, True Letter to the Kansas School Board, SPAMation's founder, Skamfor Profit, has warned that those who believe in Henderson's FSM version of the Letter will be sent—with only waxed-paper wrapping to protect them—into the sub-zero void of interstellar space, where they will be subjected to eternal freezer burn.
Loosely allied with the Alfredists, is the Ninja-Pirate Assembly of God. The First Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (obviously) was the first gathering of like-minded followers at Dell Inc. The first order in Germany is called The holy Teutonic crusaders of yumyum and they want to declare the saucy beliefs transnational. The deeply zealous Castigate Order of the Church of the Children of the sauce follow the teachings of their first "Profit", The Captain (of The Captain and Tennille). The Sunni and Cher, Shiite and other Bowel Movement is an alliance of Muslims who believe Allah was an incarnation of the Great Spaghetti Monster. They believe that the GSM's spirit is best enjoyed in ketchup and they believe that those who die for their faith will get 57 varieties of virgins in the afterlife.
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