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...and if you could charge a capacitor, rip it in half, and walk away with a charged plate, why couldn't you do the same with a wire that was attached to a battery? Connect a wire to the battery, disconnect it, and walk away with a charged wire. Does it work like that?
I think you are confusing potential (voltage) and charge here. They are different concepts which is why we have both terms.
Capacitance is the ability of something to hold a charge.
Is it? I think that a positive charge will hold onto a negative one very well indeed if allowed to.
Does that make a positive charge a capacitor?