Anyone here ever visited eharmony?

[russ_watters]

My new-age/telepathy/extra sensory perception/ crystal power/ psychic believing neighbor is on there.

I went out with one of those from eHarmony. After the dinner conversation turned to ghosts, I decided I didn't need to see her again*, though when I called her later, she said she realized we weren't very compatible but still wanted to see me again!

*the smoking didn't help either...

 

[russ_watters]

It went well enough to get invited for a home cooked meal.

Nice. Congrats!

 

[Math Is Hard]

I am conservative, but I'm not very religious, so I think my taste in women wouln't fit well with a Christian-targeted site. To put a finer point on it, I specifically avoid matches who discuss their faith in their profile. There is a section on "things I can't live without" and if I see:

1. My cell phone
2. HDTV
3. Red wine
4. My rotweiler
5. My faith in God

...#5 is a dealbreaker to me. Maybe #4 too..

I was going to invite you over to have some red wine and watch a Billy Graham special on HDTV - just you, me, and my Rottweiler.
Call me on my cell phone if you're interested. I always have my cell phone with me. Always.

 

[Math Is Hard]

It went well enough to get invited for a home cooked meal.

Good job, Bob!

 

[JasonRox]

I am conservative, but I'm not very religious, so I think my taste in women wouln't fit well with a Christian-targeted site. To put a finer point on it, I specifically avoid matches who discuss their faith in their profile. There is a section on "things I can't live without" and if I see:

1. My cell phone
2. HDTV
3. Red wine
4. My rotweiler
5. My faith in God

...#5 is a dealbreaker to me. Maybe #4 too.

Evo, I don't know what exactly the questions were that you were offended by, but these sites are intended to ask probing, personal questions. That's necessary for compatibility and since religion is an important aspect of many people's lives, any good match site must ask personal/probing questions about your religious faith, or lack thereof. The only site that could legitimately completely avoid the subject would have to be called "A-date".

I'm sure a hardcore christian virgin is probably put-off by all the questions about sexual proclivities/styles too. But the questions still need to be asked.

Good point.

 

[Evo]

Evo, I don't know what exactly the questions were that you were offended by, but these sites are intended to ask probing, personal questions.

I wasn't offended, I was appalled. No way am I going to give ANY website that much information about me. I don't want some website *matching* me up with someone based on how it judges answers I give either. So e-harmony is definitely not my kind of place.

All I want is a place where I can read what a person says, and then *I* will make the decision of whether I find them interesting enough to contact them. In the natural course of speaking with the person, I can then ask questions that really have meaning to me and judge how that person responds. I can't believe that people are allowing computers to make those initial assessments of who they even get to select from.

 

[JasonRox]

I wasn't offended, I was appalled. No way am I going to give ANY website that much information about me. I don't want some website *matching* me up with someone based on how it judges answers I give either. So e-harmony is definitely not my kind of place.

All I want is a place where I can read what a person says, and then *I* will make the decision of whether I find them interesting enough to contact them. In the natural course of speaking with the person, I can then ask questions that really have meaning to me and judge how that person responds. I can't believe that people are allowing computers to make those initial assessments of who they even get to select from.

But you knew eHarmony is a matchmaking site, how do you suppose they do this without asking personal questions?

 

[Evo]

But you knew eHarmony is a matchmaking site, how do you suppose they do this without asking personal questions?

I had belonged to match.com, which asked no questions, so it wasn't until I was slogging through e-harmony's "free trial" that I realized it was not something I was interested in. But even though I didn't finish the questions and never even submited my answers, I started getting barraged by men they had started e-mailing with my uncompleted answers!

 

[russ_watters]

I was going to invite you over to have some red wine and watch a Billy Graham special on HDTV - just you, me, and my Rottweiler.
Call me on my cell phone if you're interested. I always have my cell phone with me. Always.

Sorry, babe, I'd just end up hurting you.

[edit]...um...you do keep him on a leash, right?

 

[russ_watters]

I wasn't offended, I was appalled. No way am I going to give ANY website that much information about me. I don't want some website *matching* me up with someone based on how it judges answers I give either. So e-harmony is definitely not my kind of place.
[separate post]
I had belonged to match.com, which asked no questions, so it wasn't until I was slogging through e-harmony's "free trial" that I realized it was not something I was interested in.

Ok, well that's a different issue then and it really doesn't have anything to do with religion. You just aren't into the concept of personality profile based matching. Match.com has a much less rigorous matchmaking process and the "matches" aren't much more than just general demographic matches. I didn't like the style or the communication process for that matter (though it worked for my sister). I'm a little surprised you didn't realize the rigor of eharmony's process before you started into it - it's their primary marketing point. eHarmony's matching process may the most involved/personal/rigorous of any of the major dating sites online. That appealed to me.

We had something similar in high school - every year they had this thing (not even sure why - maybe it was fundrasing) where they did computerized personality profile based matching and quite a lot of people did it. It was more for fun, though - I don't know of anyone who asked out one of their matches.

But even though I didn't finish the questions and never even submited my answers, I started getting barraged by men they had started e-mailing with my uncompleted answers!

Well obviously you did submit something, otherwise they would have had nothing to go on to start forming the matches. The first page is generally a demographics page, and once you hit "next", that's "submitting" it. Anyway, There are certain profile questions I left blank because I couldn't think of good answers for. They encourage finishing the profile, but still make matches after you start. It is probably in their instructions/terms of service when you first start.

 

[Danger]

I'm sure a hardcore christian virgin is probably put-off by all the questions about sexual proclivities/styles too.

Hey! They never asked me about any of that stuff.
I might have created a monster with this thread, but I just realized the perfect solution. Evo, move to Alberta and marry me.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Hey! They never asked me about any of that stuff.
I might have created a monster with this thread, but I just realized the perfect solution. Evo, move to Alberta and marry me.

Seconded. ;-)

 

[Danger]

Wow! What a coincidence. I was about to edit my last post before I saw that you had responded. The edit was to say that Stats should be my best man. We can shoot some pool and have some beers for my stag.

 

[Lacy33]

I love weddings. I suggest you hire the wedding planner from the movie "Father of the Bride." I am beginning to understand him after using IM.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

I love weddings. I suggest you hire the wedding planner from the movie "Father of the Bride." I am beginning to understand him after using IM.

There's a sure fire way to get them to alope. I don't think either would like a big wedding.
I suggest you look at cakes and I will audition strippers for the batchelor party. ;-p

Edit: I need to rewatch that last episode of House.

 

[Lacy33]

OK, I will get a cake together but since they are eloping, the cake would be for you guys and the strippers? Yeah!?
We better go PM for dimensions on that the cake. :)

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

OK, I will get a cake together but since they are eloping, the cake would be for you guys and the strippers? Yeah!?
We better go PM for dimensions on that the cake. :)

Lots of whipped cream on that one!
I just like planning Evo's wedding while she sleeps, I'd like to see her face when she wakes up with an appointment for a dress fitting. ;-)

 

[Lacy33]

Evo looks to be very tiny. She can probably buy off the rack in a hurry.
My trepidation comes from doing all this while "Danger" is sleeping!

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Evo looks to be very tiny. She can probably buy off the rack in a hurry.
My trepidation comes from doing all this while "Danger" is sleeping!

Lo! to plan the future while Danger sleeps!
Lovely line. ;-)

 

[Danger]

My trepidation comes from doing all this while "Danger" is sleeping!

Where ever did you get the idea that I sleep?

 

[Lacy33]

Well You're right, danger does not sleep. But we are Trying to plan a wedding here.
Do you mind keeping it light and not scare the whipped cream out of us.

 

[Danger]

Do you mind keeping it light and not scare the whipped cream out of us.

I was about to ask why you have whipped cream in you, but I'm enjoying the fantasy too much to ruin it.

 

[Lacy33]

I was about to ask why you have whipped cream in you, but I'm enjoying the fantasy too much to ruin it.

Just assuming I was once young I had milk in me and if you shake me up enough you are going to get whipped cream, snapper whipper!~

 

[Borek]

It starts to get kinky.

 

[Lacy33]

It starts to get kinky.

There may be lumps in a cake but no kinks.

 

[mcknia07]

Hey hey now...Do I need to go all motherly on you all :) The switch can come out soon, if you want it too!

 

[Lacy33]

Hey hey now...Do I need to go all motherly on you all :) The switch can come out soon, if you want it too!

I think to bring it out now or not all the lumps are going to be in the cake. :}

 

[Danger]

Hey hey now...Do I need to go all motherly on you all :) The switch can come out soon, if you want it too!

Please...
By the bye, if you were my mother you couldn't wean me with a crowbar.

 

[BobG]

There are some good free sites. OKCupid.com is my favorite, but it is geared towards the 20-30 year old crowd. Since I don't know your age, I figured I'd put that there.

That's about what I'm looking for (I'm 53).

I think a good rule of thumb is to only date people older than your kids. Mid-forties is a pretty hot age group. Of course, there is that little problem where you stop at a restaraunt after a day at the park and neither one of you has your glasses and you can't read the menus.

 

[Moonbear]

Danger, I'm sorry to hear that you and W are splitting.

I ran from eHarmony too. I actually did complete the whole profile for one of those free trial weeks, but stopped short of giving them a credit card number. I think they had my information out within seconds of completing the profile, because people were already sending me messages...but the dippy site doesn't let you reply to anyone when you're there on a free trial. So, what's the point of a free trial? But, it didn't matter, because they were about as far off base as possible with matches. I recall being particular about a few things...don't like sports, don't want anyone who is a sports nut, and I think every guy matched with me was listing sports as something they couldn't live without. I don't know what the point of all that profile information was when they seemed to just ignore it anyway and matched me to completely incompatible people. And, you can't just browse around for other more compatible people. I quit the site before the free trial was over.

Maybe you should just tell W that she can't leave until she trains a replacement.

 

[Danger]

Danger, I'm sorry to hear that you and W are splitting.

Thanks, Moonie. As mentioned elsewhere, we've already split up but are still sharing a home and a bed. We're going to be friends forever. She's not moving away until August. I hope that she leaves it until the last half of August, because the 14th will be her 59th birthday and I want to do something special for her.

 

[GeorginaS]

I too am sorry to hear your relationship has split, Danger. I'm curious, though, if it's not too personal to ask. If it is, please just say. Why are you keen to jump right back in again? Or are you just exploring options?

 

[Danger]

The latter, Georgina. I spent my entire life (after moving back to Alberta) looking for someone. There were a couple of casual things that never worked out, and 6 1/2 years wasted on a woman who finally elected to remain with her husband.
I ran into W by accident. Her (now our) nephew had been a casual friend for a couple of years, and invited me to their table at the bar when they were celebrating her sister's 70th birthday, and thence to her home for continued partying. W and I wanted nothing to do with each other. In fact, she jumped into some other guy's lap rather than sit beside me. Our niece who is now staying with us was there, as well as the other niece whose home it was.
Next day, W and the live-in niece showed up at my house, pissed as nits, and dragged me back to their place for a party. W was just visiting, so all of us were in the same little apartment. After about 8 hours, W drove me out to the country, where we got busy in the back of the van in a friend's driveway. Then she rented us a motel room for the next 2 weeks, then we moved back into the niece's place. With the exception of 2 arguments, I haven't been back to my house in over 3 years.
I avoided making an emotional commitment for the first couple of years, because I was sure that she was in 'rebound' mode. Her husband had just died of cancer a couple of months before we met. It turned out that we do really love each other, but neither of us has been 'in' love. This is a totally painless split on both sides. I have become accustomed to having a built-in date, though, and also I am now going to have to figure out how to work a vacuum cleaner.

 

[Borek]

also I am now going to have to figure out how to work a vacuum cleaner.

Most models I have seen have a large switch somewhere on the top. Not sure what to do after you press it though.

However, if would like to know how to replace dust bag, I have some experience that I am willing to share. You yell "Junior, Mom told to replace dust bag".

 

[George Jones]

Happy matches, everyone!

 

[Math Is Hard]

..and also I am now going to have to figure out how to work a vacuum cleaner.

For sex? Surely you'll find someone before it comes to that.

 

[Danger]

For sex?

Are you nuts?! That's why I have a cat and 5 rolls of duct tape.

 

[turbo]

Are you nuts?! That's why I have a cat and 5 rolls of duct tape.

What? No liver and olive oil?

 

[Danger]

What? No liver and olive oil?

That's merely a back-up plan.

 

[Lacy33]

Aaaaaaaaaaa!~

 

[Danger]

Yeah... If the duct tape fails and the cat explodes, another receptacle is nice to have available.

 

[Lacy33]

OK, here is where you either go with friends and make a bunch of cat loving enemy's or your keep quiet and be a suck up... hmmmmmm
BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!~

 

[Danger]

OK, here is where you either go with friends and make a bunch of cat loving enemy's

That's enemies.
And it should be pretty obvious from my post that I am a cat lover.

As an update, W went off the rails on me today, so I'm moving myself and my cat back to my house. I have about 1 1/2 hours to do so before she gets back from work. Tomorrow I'll be making arrangements to have the water back on within a couple of days. Unfortunately, I will have no internet connection. I'll check in once in a while, but it's a 2 mile walk to the local library to use one of their computers. I still have my computer, but no phone line. Once I get my Social Assistance or AISH set up, I might be able to afford a new connection. In the meantime, don't fret for me. I'll try to log on whenever possible, and I'll be thinking of you all.

 

[Borek]

and I'll be thinking of you all.

And vice versa

 

[Lacy33]

Bye, bye for now enemy. Will be waiting for your return.
Yeah and I love cats too, just am very allergic so we stick with fish cause they keep their fur under water.

 

[Gokul43201]

FYI (especially for you, Danger) about eHarmony:

eHarmony: Heart and soul

By Janet Kornblum, USA TODAY

PASADENA, Calif. — You've no doubt seen Neil Clark Warren on TV commercials: He's the affable, silver-haired gentleman touting eHarmony, the rapidly growing online dating site he founded five years ago.
...
A psychologist with a divinity degree, Warren has emerged from the Christian community — three of his 10 books on love and dating were published by conservative Focus on the Family — to become one of the Internet's most unlikely entrepreneurs.
...
Warren started out marketing primarily to Christian sites, touting eHarmony as "based on the Christian principles of Focus on the Family author Dr. Neil Clark Warren."

The connection may come as a surprise to today's mainstream users: Nothing in Warren's TV or radio ads ($50 million spent last year, $80 million projected this year) hints at his Christian background.

And while it's no secret, the Web site doesn't play it up, either.

http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2005-05-18-eharmony_x.htm

 

[BobG]

FYI (especially for you, Danger) about eHarmony:


http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2005-05-18-eharmony_x.htm

That doesn't seem so bad to me. It depends what a customer is looking for.

I really didn't plan to start dating right now and who knows how things will work out after just one weekend. But dating life might not be so bad.

I wonder if they filter out alcoholics in their questionaire. And anyone who practices the really kinky things like human sacrifice after sex, of course.

 

[Danger]

Hi; I'm back for a little while.
Thanks for that last post, Gokul. And thanks to everyone for the kind messages.
As happened in previous conflicts, W called me the next day and said that I'm still welcome here (I'm in her apartment right now, using her net connection) until she moves in August. It was too late for me to give up my own house, though. Lucy's already re-established there, and the water is back in service after $500 worth of plumbing (which was less than half of what I expected it to cost; a bunch of pipes froze last year because of a broken basement window). I've been back here almost every day to visit or watch some TV, but this is the first time that I thought to bring my computer. (She doesn't have one, and my internet account is attached to her phone.)
Anyhow, I still have my key, I'm welcome any time without knocking, she keeps trying to feed me, and she gave me her minivan to use for as long as she's here.
Hmmm... she called me on my cell while I was typing this (not knowing that I was in her place), nagging me to take a shave and change my clothes because she's going to take me into see my mother tonight after work.
Okay, I'm going to slip out and spend my last few bucks on a 6-pack to prepare for it. Be back in a few minutes.

 

[Borek]

Interesting relation you have, it makes a fascinating reading

 

[Averagesupernova]

It seems all I've ever found on the dating sites are total nutcases.