Are You Struggling with Self-Doubt and Cognitive Challenges?

[epenguin]

I am personally dyslexic. In kindergarten I wrote my name entirely backwards including the individual letters and didn't notice. They passed it off as eccentric or something.

You mean like mirror? Leonardo da Vinci was like that. It doesn't preclude achievement, maybe he wasn't in a system that told him it did.

 

[Danger]

Leonardo da Vinci was like that.

He was pretty much in a class by himself, though. I don't know whether or not it's true, but I once read somewhere that he could write two entirely different things with both hands at the same time. (Someone here posted a video of an artist doing a drawing with both at once, but that's a bit different.) I'm ambidextrous, but there's no way in the world that I could do that. Maybe his corpus callosum didn't work, so as to give total hemispherical independence. (Just a guess.)

 

[junglebeast]

The diagnosis was made by a psychiatrist, and the diagnosis didn't come from asking her about those sorts of questions, though they were asked, but rather from her focus on the conversation they were having. The psychiatrist picked up on something I notice about her too...she tends to change topics in conversation very often. Before completing one thought, she's moving on to another, and never comes back to the original topic.

When I was about 8 years old I had some behavior issues and I saw a psychiatrist. She invited me into her office and told me that I could play with 1 toy from her shelf, if I wanted. She had a lot of toys so I carefully surveyed them one by one, to find the best toy. Afterwards she told my mom that I had ADD because of the way that I had moved my focus from one toy to the next without instantly focusing in on one toy. My mother rightly told the psychiatrist she was a crack pot and we left. Just because a psychiatrist tells you something doesn't mean it's true.

ADD is a mental disorder, not a behavioral characteristic. There are a lot more plausible explanations for why someone would frequently change the topic of a conversation...such as making small talk and not really caring about the subject. A lot of people (girls in particular) also just have a habit of running their mouths non stop. That doesn't make them mentally deficient any more than a guy who mumbles or says "um..." a lot.

 

[Huckleberry]

Motivation trumps natural ability. Sounds to me like you aren't motivated to do what you are doing. Maybe you are doing it because you think it is what is expected from you by your parents or society? If this were the only problem then I would say you just need to do your own thing regardless of what anyone else thinks of you. I don't get the impression that you will find contentment by satisfying people's expectations of you. But I don't believe this is really the problem at all. If you aren't taking the responsibility for your own happiness then it's doubtful that you will find it by placing blame on others.

I think problem is that you are not content with yourself. Having goals and interests is good for self esteem and generates motivation. I recommend, if you haven't already, making some friends with some of your classmates. Join study groups. Hang out with them on and off campus. Get involved in some other school activities. It might be awkward at first, but I've always found it's worth it when someone is glad to see me show up rather than when they are pushing me to go. That's always helped motivate me. Having an investment in my peers gives purpose to my actions, which drives my motivation. Maybe that's what you are lacking at school? The differences between you and your classmates are not necessarily any impedence to you or them. Let them accept or reject before dismissing yourself.

See your guidance councilor. Talk to someone qualified to help you. Maybe you do have ADD or some other mental disability, but I wouldn't start with that assumption. Take responsibility for your situation, and if it upsets you then do something to change it. If you aren't content with yourself then it will be difficult to succeed at anything you try to do. If you tell yourself that you'll fail before you even begin then you rob yourself of any motivation to try. You lower your personal standards and under value yourself. Find your cornerstone of contentment before you try to build a foundation for personal achievement.

 

[BobG]

how long have you been in? an EE major is not for everyone, and the first year is usually enough to weed out those who do not think this way. sometimes, even the first quarter.

If something requiring mental acuity is not for you, do you like things that you can do with your hands? It sounds like you have come to accept that you are not cut out for academics or science. Nothing at all wrong with that. As a matter of fact, skills like carpentry are to be admired. Perhaps you like working with machines. Move on to something that you *can* be good at.

my parents want me to be educated and succesful,

You're going to run into problems if you pick a career that only makes your parents happy. You want a realistic career that gives you satisfaction and enough money to meet the most important other goals of your life (like enough to feed your wife and kids). If you find a career that makes both you and your parents happy, then that's great. I think your own personal goals should take a little higher priority than your parents' goals, though.

 

[rootX]

I'm not sure where you pulled that from...some European system perhaps? In the states, GPA is calculated as follows:

Must be that. My school doesn't use GPA. We get percentages (100% is max)

 

[elect_eng]

I do not like this test. By answering 'Not at all' to the majority of questions and 'Just a little' to a few of them, it diagnosed me as 'Borderline ADD.' That's complete BS, and it mirrors my feelings about diagnosis of ADD in general.

I think you misunderstood the purpose of the test and the meaning of the categories. Although, the wording they use is very confusing, so this is understandable. This test is not a diagnosis, but just an indicator of the probability that you have some symtoms of ADD. The "borderline" category means that you are on the borderline of a very low probability of having a mild form of it. I took the test and scored 24 which is almost on the borderline and I don't think I have ADD. However my wife, who has been diagnosed with ADD, scored an 86. So the test has some validity.

You are right that diagnosis is very difficult and ADD is often use as an excuse. However, it is a very real disorder and creates real challenges for those who truly have it. The important thing is to not use a diagnosis of ADD as an excuse, but use it for understanding how to develop coping mechanisms. My wife and son went through extensive testing to be sure of a correct diagnosis because we did not want to put our son on needless medication. The medication worked wonders on our sons ability to focus and do well in school, but he eventually decided not to take it any more. We respected his wishes, but his symptoms are obvious without medication. But, now that he is older and has developed coping strategies, he does fine. The end result is that a person with a 140 IQ works flipping burgers, but that was the choice he made and he seems happy enough. However, the OP is clearly unhappy and needs a solution. That test may put him on a path of discovery.

 

[elect_eng]

I do not like this test. By answering 'Not at all' to the majority of questions and 'Just a little' to a few of them, it diagnosed me as 'Borderline ADD.' That's complete BS, and it mirrors my feelings about diagnosis of ADD in general.

There is an interesting experiment you can do with this test. Retake the test and force yourself to answer "not at all" to all questions and get a score of zero.

Now ask yourself what a boring robot you would be if you really could answer this way. This shows that all of the symptoms of ADD are basically not bad at all, but a normal part of being a thinking human being. The symptoms are a reflection of how the creative mind works. So ADD is a case where the useful functions of the mind have gone to an extreme uncontrolled state and hinder functionality and happiness.

 

[Moonbear]

ADD is a mental disorder, not a behavioral characteristic. There are a lot more plausible explanations for why someone would frequently change the topic of a conversation...such as making small talk and not really caring about the subject. A lot of people (girls in particular) also just have a habit of running their mouths non stop. That doesn't make them mentally deficient any more than a guy who mumbles or says "um..." a lot.

And some people just refuse to accept the diagnosis, so dismiss the trained psychiatrists rather than understand the disorder...which IS behavioral. You also seem to lack any understanding of ADD...it is NOT a mental "deficiency." You make it sound like someone with ADD is defective rather than simply having a mind that works differently. If you actually READ my entire post, as well, you'd see that the diagnosis was NOT based on just one criterion...in fact, that was the entire point I was making, that there are many criteria required beyond just some internet test.

 

[Evo]

I find it rather comical that the first thing a lot of people here suggest when someone says that they don't like school or like to learn, is that the person has a learning disability. Especially now that he says that he doesn't even want to work for a living.

 

[elect_eng]

I find it rather comical that the first thing a lot of people here suggest when someone says that they don't like school or like to learn, is that the person has a learning disability. Especially now that he says that he doesn't even want to work for a living.

I can't speak for anyone else, but my comments are based on the fact that his description of how he feels sounds very similar to how my wife and son described how they feel with ADD. Comments like ...

"fog" in my head;

can't engage my mind

hurts to think

my mind shuts off

like to ponder, fantasize, imagine

I can't say that my explanation is correct since I'm biased based on limited experience, but there is definitely some issue here. His posting is a call for help, whether he realizes it or not. We cant' be sure of the cause or the cure, but we can encourage him to try and figure it out.

 

[Evo]

I can't speak for anyone else, but my comments are based on the fact that his description of how he feels sounds very similar to how my wife and son described how they feel with ADD. Comments like ...

"fog" in my head;

can't engage my mind

hurts to think

my mind shuts off

like to ponder, fantasize, imagine

I can't say that my explanation is correct since I'm biased based on limited experience, but there is definitely some issue here. His posting is a call for help, whether he realizes it or not. We cant' be sure of the cause or the cure, but we can encourage him to try and figure it out.

My comment is in reference to the first thing that someone that enjoys learning seems to think - that anyone that doesn't enjoy learning has to have a problem...they are not normal. Where as on another forum the first thing that might come to mind is that the person just doesn't like learning. Those phrases can easily mean that someone can't grasp things because they aren't into it. But we, here, tend to jump to the conclusion that it must be a disability because not liking learning is foreign to us.

there is definitely some issue here. His posting is a call for help, whether he realizes it or not.

No, not at all. You are imposing "your" viewpoint on his comments.

I use those terms all of the time. And I am an expert in my field and have no problems.

 

[Moonbear]

I find it rather comical that the first thing a lot of people here suggest when someone says that they don't like school or like to learn, is that the person has a learning disability. Especially now that he says that he doesn't even want to work for a living.

People are suggesting that it is a possibility and that he should talk to a physician to find out. I would rather have someone who has nothing wrong with them go talk to a physician and find that out than have someone who has a learning disability or other psychiatric issue be told he's just lazy until he ends up homeless. The attitude that these illnesses aren't real and that people are just lazy just contributes the stigma that prevents people from getting properly diagnosed.

 

[Evo]

People are suggesting that it is a possibility and that he should talk to a physician to find out. I would rather have someone who has nothing wrong with them go talk to a physician and find that out than have someone who has a learning disability or other psychiatric issue be told he's just lazy until he ends up homeless. The attitude that these illnesses aren't real and that people are just lazy just contributes the stigma that prevents people from getting properly diagnosed.

Absolutely, I just found it humorous that since we all love learning, that someone that doesn't, usually has a learning disability thrown out as the reason, instead of pursuing the possibility that they just aren't into it.

 

[elect_eng]

No, not at all. You are imposing "your" viewpoint on his comments.

I'm doing more than imposing my viewpoint on his comments. I'm considering his comments in light of my own experience. Given that I only have his words and am not talking to him personally, I consider a wide range of possible reasons why someone would generate a post like this. Then I make my best judgement.

I use those terms all of the time. And I am an expert in my field and have no problems.

You are being disingenuous. I've had people tell me they were going to kill me, and I didn't worry about it because I knew they didn't mean it. But, if someone did mean it, I'm sure I could tell the difference, or at least be suspicious enough to be cautious.

I don't need to be 100% confident to make a judgement that someone may need help and to offer some advice that may be useful, or at least send the message that there are people that care and don't find a serious issue comical. Yes, I may be wrong, but it's better to err on the side of caution.