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Originally posted by jimmy p
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
Cause then they wouldn't chase the (real) mice out of the houses D'Uh!

If you were standing on a bridge?
 
Physics news on Phys.org
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If you were standing on a bridge?
That's where you'd be whether or not you realized it.Why isn't there cat-flavored dog food?
 
Cos dogs prefer the taste of their own genitals


Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
 
Originally posted by jimmy p
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
There is just such a medical term but it takes three times longer to pronounce than "tops of your feet" so no one uses it, not even podiatrists.What do you call a man with one real foot and one pseudo-pod?
 
anything you want, he probably couldn't catch up with you! how about "limpet"


Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
 
Originally posted by jimmy p
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Cause they used all the real lemons in the Dishwashing Soap so they had to put the Fake lemons in the Lemon Juice, or, because "nine out of ten" real "lemon lovers" prefer it in their dishsoap! for consumtive purposes slides down better I heard...

If you take a lemon, and squeeeeeeeze it, why is it that it sounds Just like Zoobyshoe crying?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
If you take a lemon, and squeeeeeeeze it, why is it that it sounds Just like Zoobyshoe crying?
The resemblence to his sour disposition is uncanny, isn't it?If you take a large hunk of Canadian Bacon and squeeeeeeeze it, why does it not sound like Mr. Robin Parsons?
 
Last edited:
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
If you take a large hunk of Canadian Bacon and squeeeeeeeze it, why does it not sound like Mr. Robin Parsons?
Cause he is a homeelesse guy ergo he cannot have that kind of Body fat, Just not allowed! Violation of Universal Statute #3985746465910stroke-j Sec 14 part 7 subsection, (i), (ii), and (iii)

Why is it that Canadian Bacon doesn't look like a Maple leaf?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
Why is it that Canadian Bacon doesn't look like a Maple leaf?
Because, try as they might, they haven't been able to make the Canadian pigs look like maple trees.Isn't maple syrup scrumptious?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Isn't maple syrup scrumptious?
Well no, it S-Y-R-U-P you know, "a flowing liquid like solid"

What the heck is a scrumtious, anyways?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What the heck is a scrumtious, anyways?
Common orthographic misdemeanor.Is it true that since they can't get the pigs to resemble maple trees, they are trying to breed maple trees that resemble pigs?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Is it true that since they can't get the pigs to resemble maple trees, they are trying to breed maple trees that resemble pigs?
No!...actually, that is a common misdemeanor in which it is thought that "pigs can fly" but the brutal truth is that they too need airplanes to do it...just like us...

...will similarities, and wonders, ever cease?
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
...will similarities, and wonders, ever cease?
Einstein maintained that the similarities between simultenaities seem silly, so, I wonder if wonders will wander.

At the present time, given what we have, whizm are seagulls if thirty?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
At the present time, given what we have, whizm are seagulls if thirty?
Oh I absolutely agree to disagree with your agreed upon agreement, that we have previously agreed to, given that that agreement, is agreed to, by a general agreement, of agreeing!

So tell me, whizm have we agreed to? (and why?)(not?)(maybe?)(sorta?)(kinda?)(perhaps?)
 
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
So tell me, whizm have we agreed to? (and why?)(not?)(maybe?)(sorta?)(kinda?)(perhaps?)
I thought we'd agreed to thirty, if whizm.Recently I had the misfortune of having my screw-fed trans-proto fiberscrunching gizmological whizmizer start making an odd, whinning noise much like a lemon being squeezed. Would you have any suggestions?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Recently I had the misfortune of having my screw-fed trans-proto fiberscrunching gizmological whizmizer start making an odd, whinning noise much like a lemon being squeezed. Would you have any suggestions?
Sure! remove the lemon!

What happens when you remove a jammed lemon from a "screw-fed trans-proto fiberscrunching gizmological whizmizer" that hasn't been greased in years?
 
Last edited:
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What happens when you remove a jammed lemon from a "screw-fed trans-proto fiberscrunching gizmological whizmizer" that hasn't been greased in years?
You get a fresh smelling machine, and a lemon in really bad shape.Recently I had the experience of noticing that my double-acting bi-vacuous, vorto-turbonic wet/dry/biocontaminated floor sweeper was not sucking as it once used to, so I opened it up with the only screw driver I seemed to be able to find, despite the fact I used to have a set of twenty, and inside I found the rest of the missing screw drivers all chopped into scrap metal and non recyclable plastic. Could I offer you some cappuchino?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Recently I had the experience of noticing that my double-acting bi-vacuous, vorto-turbonic wet/dry/biocontaminated floor sweeper was not sucking as it once used to, so I opened it up with the only screw driver I seemed to be able to find, despite the fact I used to have a set of twenty, and inside I found the rest of the missing screw drivers all chopped into scrap metal and non recyclable plastic. Could I offer you some cappuchino?
Only if it is laminar and smelling of fresh lemons!

How would you go about deciding if Ms Zoobyshoe was either Lipophilic, lipophalic, or simply lipophobic?
 
test her, and depending on how she responds is whether she is a phillic,a phallic or a phobic.


Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
 
Originally posted by jimmy p
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Because all the people who win the lottery are psychic. They're taking turns among themselves and don't want the lottery operators to know.Why don't you ever see the headline "President Bush Admits to Imbecility" ?
 
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Why don't you ever see the headline "President Bush Admits to Imbecility" ?
Cause His Wife won't let him.. (Am I in trouble now?)

How is it that a BPO is available to someone like myself and yet I can't even get a "Hello" from anyone else?
 
because BPO is a fantasy...even if she runs off with me, and fantasies always go right...for a time anyway.


Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
 
Originally posted by jimmy p
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
So you can see the address with your ears...it's called "visual accoustics"

When you tune your car radio, why is it that you don't look at it?
 
because you are 'at one' with the radio, whereas you are never 'at one' with the car.


Why is a boxing ring square?
 
Originally posted by jimmy p
Why is a boxing ring square?
And what other shape would you expect a Box-ing ring to be...

How, do, you?
 
as often as i can!


Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
 
Originally posted by jimmy p
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Cause then it wouldn't be a plane, but a 'flying black box' and no one would know where it was, ever!

How is it that when you take out the trash, your really taking out the treasure, and your throwing it all away! why??
 
because your trash is someone elses treasure, you see it as trash and hobo's see it as treasure. unless you chuck out diamonds and other shiny rocks.


Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
 
Originally posted by jimmy p
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Well water falls often enough, and snow certainly drops when avalanching, Cheese, I guess I just don't know!

How is it that you can come to a forum (like this one) and respond to quetions, without knowing any answers?
 
...well in the case of this thread, stupid answers are the only ones available, and seeing as i can do stupid, its not a problem. woot woot!


Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?