Why do girl play these stupid games? (kind of long)

In summary, the girl lied to the guy about being single and then tried to kiss him. He didn't want to kiss her and walked away.
  • #1
offtheleft
131
1
okay, ill try to explain this situation a best as i can.

so, i started talking to this girl. I am not quite sure how it all started but i seemed cool so, i went with it. a cool thing (i thought so) was the fact that we hang out with a lot of the same crowd. so i got to see her often and see my friends at the same time as well. so, we started hooking up a bit, nothing too crazy. all of a sudden she has a boyfriend. completely lost i kind of just stopped talking to her. one night my friends invited her out with us, i didnt complain. id rather still be friends. and it was like nothing changed. she was hanging all over me, favoring my every move, etc. as we all were leaving she just came up to me and made a move. still, I am very lost. i get into my friends car and ask... doesn't she have a boyfriend? they both said, yeah she does...so I am quite aggravated at this point.

a couple nights later i get a text from her. i don't remember exactly what it said but i ignored it. about an hour later she comes into where i work and starts talking to me. asking why i didnt reply. i couldn't ******** her saying my phone is in the back because my friend called and she heard it go off... i just siad i was busy and didnt get a chance to reply lol. but, she's hounding me with questions and keeps trying to make me play the "guess what" game. i, being my normal self (im a total *******, btw. ill explain more later) and i would reply with remarks such as "you hit 5 ft?" because i do believe she's a legal midget. long story short because, she was there for nearly an hour pretending to shop and prettymuch just annoying me. she finally came out and told me that she was finally single. i found that quite amusing. she got me to walk her to her car, which i had no problem doing because that meant i didnt have to be working lol. we get to her car and yet again, she makes another move. i figured it was alright since she was single.

she leaves, i go back into work. about thirty minutes until the end of my shift i call my friend back. he's hanging out at dunkin donuts with other mutual friends and told me to go there after work. nothing out of the ordinary, I am there almost every night. i meet up with every one and he told me something like "oh, **** was just here with her boyfriend." i ask how long ago. he said... they just left as i was pulling in. so, i guess you can imagine, at this point I am livid. i explain that she was just in there place where i work and she pulled this on me. everyone was quite lost.

i think about a week later her and i were hanging out, I am not sure how it went down but she told me for sure. her and her boyfriend are over. he had three girlfriend and would disappear for weeks at a time. so i think at that point we were talkin again. hanging out every other day, hooking up, etc...

one night I am texting her asking to hang out and i get as a reply "no, i cant. I am working late and i have so much homework. I am already tired so I am just going to stay in tonight" I am a very understanding person so i was like... okay that cool. another time than. and yes, that night i went to dunkin donuts with all my friends and just sat around. but, I am getting out of the car and guess who pulls in? she does... she sees me there and her jaw hit the floor.
1, don't lie to me
2, if youre going to lie... don't go to a place where there is a 90% change that I am going to be
3, don't run up to me like like nothing is wrong and expect me to greet you with open arms.

so yes, she comes up to me and tries to kiss me. considering she's up to my chin, height wise. i gave her a kiss on the forehead and walked away. was not the nicest to her all night but she still doesn't know why nothing is wrong. I am so irritated i don't even bother trying to explain it. even as we leave... she offered to give me a ride to my car(which was at my friends house) and wanted to hang out. i kindly turned them down and left.

thursday morning... like three days after that incident. she texts me asking "whats happening between us" i reply with "id like to know my self" and that was it... no reply. nothing. that kind of pissed me off... friday morning i get to class (she goes to the same school) and i start texting her... id rather talk it out instead of doing what I am doing. so i ask for a ride home. this way we can talk. she takes me home and we talk a little. all seemed good. before i left we kissed and i went inside. its about 10am lol. my class ended at 920. as she leaves, on her way to work. we start texting again. and while in the car i asked what her plans were for the evening. she said she's going out to dinner with some friends... so i ask... would you like to hang out tonight?? id like to see you? i got this direct quote... "no. i have plans. sorry." such a dry and rude statement... than i got another text not to long after because i texted something silly a a joke and she flipped. i got mad so i just went to sleep.

so other words were said. it all seemed okay than its back to crap... i tried to talk to her today but trying to hold a conversation is impossible. what do i do from here? just stop talking to her? I've gotten suggestions like "ignore her and let her come back to you" or "make her jealous" and some other stupid ones. but i was looking for more options. but I am about to give up lol
 
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  • #2
Don't even invest time into someone who is playing games like that.
 
  • #3
I agree with Monique. This girl is going to bring you nothing but aggravation.
 
  • #4
wow i can't believe I read all that.

If she is with other boys, then she is trouble.

Just go study. Find someone better later on.
 
  • #5
All women/girls are psychotic, you just have to find the one that is psychotic to the least degree.
 
  • #6
Agreed. Just leave her alone.

I think it mainly had to do with the places I was hanging out at, but I've run into situations very much like that before. At the heart of it, girls like that are just plain flighty and attention seekers.

IMO, she's intentionally playing games with you for attention. She's also probably doing the exact same thing with her current 'boyfriend'. Any relationship you have with her, won't go anywhere that's good.

She has a lot of growing up to do.
 
  • #7
She has a boyfriend... who cares.

Never stops me.

I don't see what's aggravating. She wants you and you want her. Your problem is that she has a boyfriend. She has no problem with that. Only you do. So technically, your only aggravating yourself.
 
  • #8
Run for your life.
 
  • #9
JasonRox said:
She has a boyfriend... who cares.

Never stops me.

I don't see what's aggravating. She wants you and you want her. Your problem is that she has a boyfriend. She has no problem with that. Only you do. So technically, your only aggravating yourself.

If such situations suits you - that's OK. But it seems like offtheleft doesn't like the situation, so he will be only loosing time and nerves. It is not worth it in the long run.
 
  • #10
Talk to her other boyfriend :-p

Maybe, you will get a better idea why she is doing this or you might help the other guy.
 
  • #11
JasonRox said:
She has a boyfriend... who cares.

Never stops me.

I don't see what's aggravating. She wants you and you want her. Your problem is that she has a boyfriend. She has no problem with that. Only you do. So technically, your only aggravating yourself.

No, I think the boyfriend is out of the picture:

offtheleft said:
i think about a week later her and i were hanging out, I am not sure how it went down but she told me for sure. her and her boyfriend are over. he had three girlfriend and would disappear for weeks at a time. so i think at that point we were talkin again. hanging out every other day, hooking up, etc...

The problem is that she is acting ambivalent. She acts like she's interested, but then he asks her to get together and she turns him down.
She also lies and says she has too much homework to go out - and then he finds out that she did go out.
 
  • #12
JasonRox said:
She has a boyfriend... who cares.

Never stops me.

I don't see what's aggravating. She wants you and you want her. Your problem is that she has a boyfriend. She has no problem with that. Only you do. So technically, your only aggravating yourself.

no no no... it had officially ended somewhere in there.




rootX said:
Talk to her other boyfriend :-p

even if they were still together i would never do something like that. I am not looking to cause trouble and she would get here **** end of the stick down the line sometime...
 
  • #13
Math Is Hard said:
The problem is that she is acting ambivalent. She acts like she's interested, but then he asks her to get together and she turns him down.

YES, what the hell?!@
:devil:
 
  • #14
Ignore her; she's just playing with your mind. Your feelings for her will disappear in a week or so. Then later you can find somebody who's more honest.
 
  • #15
I think she is an idiot who is just harming herself in the long run. If you ignore her she would just find someone else and continue to waste her and others' time. She need to know and understand that she is not being good and honest to herself and others.
 
  • #16
JasonRox said:
She has a boyfriend... who cares.

Never stops me.

I don't see what's aggravating. She wants you and you want her. Your problem is that she has a boyfriend. She has no problem with that. Only you do. So technically, your only aggravating yourself.

yeah, until the boyfriend finds out and beats the Sh!t out of you...i hate people who would do something like...esp. if you KNOW if the girl has a b/f...don't step on other peoples toes, becuase what goes around comes around. There may be your dream girl one day, and then some guy does the same sh!t to you..JasonRox, if you keep that habit of chasing other people's girlfriends, one day someone will find you all fukked up in an ally...
 
  • #17
Borek said:
Run for your life.

but anyways, i totally agree with this statement...and if you have a hard time withing getting this girl off your nuts, just bring the issue to her boyfriends attention. I am assuming though that you atleast know of him. This would probably infuriate her and she will never talk to you again, which is what you may want...
 
  • #18
offtheleft said:
YES, what the hell?!@
:devil:

I hate to say it, but it really sounds like you were her rebound guy. Her boyfriend was treating her like crap, her self-esteem was plummeting, and there you were: a nice guy who made her feel great. Now that's she's feeling better, she's probably ready to unload you and find another a-hole and get back to the drama she craves. But she is probably very confused about her feelings because she recognizes that you ARE a GREAT guy - the kind of guy she SHOULD be with. Some people love relationships with lots of highs and lows. Consistent mutual affection just gets boring for them. Hopefully, she'll outgrow that one day.
 
  • #19
Math Is Hard said:
I hate to say it, but it really sounds like you were her rebound guy. Her boyfriend was treating her like crap, her self-esteem was plummeting, and there you were: a nice guy who made her feel great. Now that's she's feeling better, she's probably ready to unload you and find another a-hole and get back to the drama she craves. But she is probably very confused about her feelings because she recognizes that you ARE a GREAT guy - the kind of guy she SHOULD be with. Some people love relationships with lots of highs and lows. Consistent mutual affection just gets boring for them. Hopefully, she'll outgrow that one day.

yes, i do hope she grows out of it. i very seldom wish bad on someone for the reason it might come back to me. and I am generally a nice guy and very passive so what ever happens to her after she screws me over is on her and i can care less. but i don't like failing. which is why I am persistent and i do kind of want some kind of closure weather it works out or not. am i making sense? lol but yeah, i don't like failing.
 
  • #20
offtheleft said:
okay, ill try to explain this situation a best as i can.

so, i started talking to this girl. I am not quite sure how it all started but i seemed cool so, i went with it. a cool thing (i thought so) was the fact that we hang out with a lot of the same crowd. so i got to see her often and see my friends at the same time as well. so, we started hooking up a bit, nothing too crazy. all of a sudden she has a boyfriend. completely lost i kind of just stopped talking to her. one night my friends invited her out with us, i didnt complain. id rather still be friends. and it was like nothing changed. she was hanging all over me, favoring my every move, etc. as we all were leaving she just came up to me and made a move. still, I am very lost. i get into my friends car and ask... doesn't she have a boyfriend? they both said, yeah she does...so I am quite aggravated at this point.

a couple nights later i get a text from her. i don't remember exactly what it said but i ignored it. about an hour later she comes into where i work and starts talking to me. asking why i didnt reply. i couldn't ******** her saying my phone is in the back because my friend called and she heard it go off... i just siad i was busy and didnt get a chance to reply lol. but, she's hounding me with questions and keeps trying to make me play the "guess what" game. i, being my normal self (im a total *******, btw. ill explain more later) and i would reply with remarks such as "you hit 5 ft?" because i do believe she's a legal midget. long story short because, she was there for nearly an hour pretending to shop and prettymuch just annoying me. she finally came out and told me that she was finally single. i found that quite amusing. she got me to walk her to her car, which i had no problem doing because that meant i didnt have to be working lol. we get to her car and yet again, she makes another move. i figured it was alright since she was single.

she leaves, i go back into work. about thirty minutes until the end of my shift i call my friend back. he's hanging out at dunkin donuts with other mutual friends and told me to go there after work. nothing out of the ordinary, I am there almost every night. i meet up with every one and he told me something like "oh, **** was just here with her boyfriend." i ask how long ago. he said... they just left as i was pulling in. so, i guess you can imagine, at this point I am livid. i explain that she was just in there place where i work and she pulled this on me. everyone was quite lost.

i think about a week later her and i were hanging out, I am not sure how it went down but she told me for sure. her and her boyfriend are over. he had three girlfriend and would disappear for weeks at a time. so i think at that point we were talkin again. hanging out every other day, hooking up, etc...

one night I am texting her asking to hang out and i get as a reply "no, i cant. I am working late and i have so much homework. I am already tired so I am just going to stay in tonight" I am a very understanding person so i was like... okay that cool. another time than. and yes, that night i went to dunkin donuts with all my friends and just sat around. but, I am getting out of the car and guess who pulls in? she does... she sees me there and her jaw hit the floor.
1, don't lie to me
2, if youre going to lie... don't go to a place where there is a 90% change that I am going to be
3, don't run up to me like like nothing is wrong and expect me to greet you with open arms.

so yes, she comes up to me and tries to kiss me. considering she's up to my chin, height wise. i gave her a kiss on the forehead and walked away. was not the nicest to her all night but she still doesn't know why nothing is wrong. I am so irritated i don't even bother trying to explain it. even as we leave... she offered to give me a ride to my car(which was at my friends house) and wanted to hang out. i kindly turned them down and left.

It's simple. She does not have respect for either of you ; you or her boyfriend. My guess is that she has someone that she actually likes and is using both of you to build connections and be more conspicuous. If you like her , than be a man and go after her. If not - time is of the essence - find someone else.
 
  • #21
Just for a complete shift in perspective... you ask why girls play these games... why not ask why you are playing along?
 
  • #22
Hurkyl said:
Just for a complete shift in perspective... you ask why girls play these games... why not ask why you are playing along?

when it all started going on i didnt think it was a game. she wasnt trying to get into my pants and she was genuinely nice and pleasant to be around. i guess it was a rush of a new person and i took it an ran with it, without on thinking.

q.e.d

shes not to bright. and, I've come to realize that.
 
  • #23
offtheleft said:
shes not to bright. and, I've come to realize that.

:smile:
 
  • #24
Well, that's the best method for the love at first sight - take a second look :wink:
 
  • #25
gravenewworld said:
All women/girls are psychotic, you just have to find the one that is psychotic to the least degree.

I concur. Find someone better.
 
  • #26
Don't put up with that crap - it'll just make you more frustrated and cause more damage to your mental well being.
 
  • #27
Wow offtheleft. You're not going to like my response but...grow up.

Don't take it the wrong way, you're a nice guy. But you're acting like a damn child.
 
  • #28
There are defantly better people out there and that will treat you right. She sounds very immature and has a lot of growing up to do. It seems as if she might lack self confidence.
 
  • #29
mcknia07 said:
There are defantly better people out there and that will treat you right.

Right.

She sounds very immature and has a lot of growing up to do. It seems as if she might lack self confidence.

You may be twice wrong. I know/knew girls/woman that liked to play such games just because they liked it - period. It had nothing to do with maturity nor lack of confidence. Some people just never grow up, but if you will look around being grown or/and mature is not prerequisite to anything. Unfortunately.
 
  • #30
Borek said:
You may be twice wrong. I know/knew girls/woman that liked to play such games just because they liked it - period. It had nothing to do with maturity nor lack of confidence. Some people just never grow up, but if you will look around being grown or/and mature is not prerequisite to anything. Unfortunately.
IMO, playing those sort of games *is* immature. Like you said, some people never grow up. I have a name for people like that, but the filter won't let me say it. :devil:

If I found out that either of my girls tried that kind of crap, it would never happen again after I finished "enlightening" them. Luckily, my girls grew up with respect for other's feelings.
 
  • #31
I'm still missing the part where she did something wrong to him?

Could someone please explain that to me. All I see is him being nieve about dating, and handling it very poorly.

A girl came up to him and likes him. He found out she is also with someone else (possibly). He throws a fit about it. Why? I have no damn clue.

I think he's the one who played it alllllll wrong.

Sorry folks, Jason is 100% correct here in what he said.
 
  • #32
My 2 cents? She doesn't want offtheleft, she is just toying with him either to try to get this other guy jealous and pay more attention to her, or to hurt him (the other guy).

I know exactly what she's up to, I've seen this scenario played out hundreds of times and the girl is using him.

My advice? She's a loser, dump her. Of course no one ever listens to me. Then later they come back saying "you were right, why didn't I listen to you?"
 
  • #33
Evo said:
My 2 cents? She doesn't want offtheleft, she is just toying with him either to try to get this other guy jealous and pay more attention to her, or to hurt him (the other guy).

I know exactly what she's up to, I've seen this scenario played out hundreds of times and the girl is using him.

My advice? She's a loser, dump her. Of course no one ever listens to me. Then later they come back saying "you were right, why didn't I listen to you?"

Yes, the girl is using him. And he's throwing an insecure tantrum about it. How is he going to 'dump her'? He's not even dating her.

Running around like a chicken with its head cut off is never a good way to handle a situation.

I'm sorry, but he pretty much did everything you don't want to do. Get all emotional over absolutely nothing.
 
  • #34
Math Is Hard said:
The problem is that she is acting ambivalent. She acts like she's interested, but then he asks her to get together and she turns him down.
She also lies and says she has too much homework to go out - and then he finds out that she did go out.

I agree with this. I don't know. Maybe, as MIH said, you're the rebound guy. Or, maybe she's still making up her mind and getting skittish. Whatever is going on, she's sending all sorts of mixed signals. I'm all for the blunt approach here, just tell her that she's sending mixed signals, one day she seems to be all over you and the next it seems like you're about as interesting to her as last week's newspaper, and you don't have the patience for it. Tell her to come back when she's made up her mind if she's still interested.

Hurkyl said:
Just for a complete shift in perspective... you ask why girls play these games... why not ask why you are playing along?

I was thinking that too. It seems this is a game both are playing right now. Afterall, he's doing the same thing to her that she's doing to him. When she's around and flirting, he's flirting back, kissing her, talking to her, etc., but then ignores her calls and messages and doesn't tell her why. Games really only work when two people are playing them.
 
  • #35
cyrus in a way you're right. I am VERY insecure and a reason why it upsets me is because I would never do somethng like this to someone. I follow the golden rule to treat people how I'd like to be treated.

But as an update I cut her off. I'll explain more later. I'm out to eat and my friend is gtting mad tHat I'm paying more attention to my phone LOL
 

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