Ask a Stupid Quetion Get a Stupid Answer

[QE]

Ship changed it's name often. It was built back in 1488. as a carrack for a Spanish-Italian explorer Dumbo Garcia Vesquez de la Boloniese Ciciolio. He was determined to go to India with this ship, but he had problems with administration with naming the ship. After Columbus' discovery he decided to become a pirate and named it Athos. He didn't have a noticeable career as a pirate, and died in 1449. He left Athos to his cousin Daffy de Runnia a la al Dente Moderato who had it anchored in Venezuela all his life. Ship was in bad condition, and was crawling with rats. What they didn't know is that Athos was near a radioactive rock. It's radiation made rats mutate in super-rats - people tell that they were more than 25 feet long, had purple fur and x-ray sight and a 1MW laser on their back. But somehow they didn't leave the ship.

Daffy left Athos to his friend, a Russian-Irish scientist Harry Yurye O'Shag Zdravstuyityi. He gave the ship to his daughter which he had with his Japanese mistress Xo-Yo-Zo. She decided to sink the boat to perform an extermination. Rats fled, and it is believed that they went to Bermuda, causing phenomenas associated under the name Bermuda's triangle.
Ship was repaired by Go-Go Zdravsvuyity Gandhi, Harry's grandson who renamed it into Psilocybin due to his experiments with drugs.

It isn't known what happened to the ship after Go-Go's death. It's trace is lost until 1935. when it shipwrecked on a German military officer's beach house. Lt. Hans von Kirchodinger-Berliner was fascinated by vessels; he restaurated it till 1940. and named it Koginnschpehelaugen. At the end of the WWII American-French secret agent John Pierrrre Versaille Smith stole the ship. In the sixties he transformed it into a party ship. He named it Look-at-the-colours,-man! and held wild orgies there.

Due to his tax problems IRS took the ship and gave it to the US Navy. In 1979. it was equipped with 25 nuclear warheads and named Freedom for the World 3. It is still sailing our oceans, being the first and only wooden ship with nuclear weapons.


Who is the present captain of this ship?

 

[The Bob]

Who is the present captain of this ship?

The present captain must be Bob Kingsley. A great captain.

He fought off (5 to 1) 100 ships and had deaths in the hundreds. He, himself, had to have his leg re-attached but still fought on. Amazing.

What other injuries did Bob sustain?

The Bob (2004 ©)

P.S. From the ASHES.

 

[dracobook]

he became a sponge

 

[mattmns]

You are supposed to ask a quetion dracobook!

Why is this thread not as popular as the thread killer thread?

 

[Gokul43201]

Why is this thread not as popular as the thread killer thread?

Because this thread, unlike the other one, demands intelligence of its participants.

So, earlier this month, when I was driving through Utah, I was thinking to myself: "Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?"

 

[zoobyshoe]

So, earlier this month, when I was driving through Utah, I was thinking to myself: "Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?"

More like guilt.

Have you ever noticed that when you climb a sycamore tree and honk like a seal, it drives the neighborhood dogs nuts?

 

[moose]

More like guilt.

Have you ever noticed that when you climb a sycamore tree and honk like a seal, it drives the neighborhood dogs nuts?

Yes I have noticed.


When you are in your canoe, how many pancakes does it take to row up a waterfall in 72* C ?

 

[JamesU]

approx. 1,000,000

If you dump 5,000,000 packs of paper on a used-to-be rainforest site, will it make those tree-huggers STFU?

 

[zoobyshoe]

If you dump 5,000,000 packs of paper on a used-to-be rainforest site, will it make those tree-huggers STFU?

Yes, if you dump it on them.

What's the minimum number of canoes it would take to surround the island of Manhattan and level it by flinging pancakes with small, portable trebouchés?

 

[EnumaElish]

What's the minimum number of canoes it would take to surround the island of Manhattan and level it by flinging pancakes with small, portable trebouchés?

11,264.

What is the average IQ of all intelligent life forms presently living on Earth?

 

[Gokul43201]

What is the average IQ of all intelligent life forms presently living on Earth?

Sorry, I don't happen to know my IQ off the top of my head.

I've thinking about the other good threads here and remembered the 'Coffins for sale at Costco' (or something like that, anyway) thread. And that got me wondering... when you buy a coffin, does it come with a lifetime guarantee ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

I've thinking about the other good threads here and remembered the 'Coffins for sale at Costco' (or something like that, anyway) thread. And that got me wondering... when you buy a coffin, does it come with a lifetime guarantee ?

The manager at the local CostCo has just informed me over the phone that, yes, each coffin is guarranteed for the life of the coffin. So, as long as nothing goes wrong with it before it fails, they'll replace or repair anything excluding hinges, external surfaces, or interior fabric.

Recently, after taking a gulp of mouthwash, I noticed to my horror it actually was labeled Mousewash. Am I going to be OK?

 

[madcat11]

Recently, after taking a gulp of mouthwash, I noticed to my horror it actually was labeled Mousewash. Am I going to be OK?

probably not.


Speaking of knots, what's the percentage of people who don't know which way to tie the bows in their, er, tennis shoes?

 

[EnumaElish]

Players on a shoestring budget, aka "no promos"; that's over 90% and probably over 99%.

How long is the circadian cycle of the cicadas who sleep 17 years?

 

[zoobyshoe]

How long is the circadian cycle of the cicadas who sleep 17 years?

I once rode a circadian cycle. I think Indians are better, and Harleys are probaby the best.

Last night I heard a familiar crunching noise outside my back door, one which usually means a possum is scarfing down the food I leave out for stray kitties. A check, however, revealed the cat-food eater to be Harry J. Donaldson, employee of the IRS, down on all fours with his face in the food dish. Does this mean I'm being audited?

 

[Gokul43201]

No, you were being odditeed. The oddity tour was a move by the IRS to try and change the general psychological reaction of an average person to hearing the letters I-R-S. The IRS sent out swarms of its employees all round the country, making them perform strange and unusual acts intended to radically reshape your opinion of the IRS.

Do you know why this plan failed so miserably ?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Do you know why this plan failed so miserably ?

Your explanation completely accounts for the many reported sightings of shirt and tie "tightrope walkers" seen trying to get from telephone pole to telephone pole via the high tension wires. Which also explains the plan's failure.

Recently, when I was framing some pictures for my upcoming exhibit at the San Diego Museum of Photographs of Marsupial and Government Cat-Food-Eaters I couldn't resist a taste of the succulent looking little tacks I was using to hold the backboards to the frames. They had a strangely metalic flavor, almost as if they were made of steel or some other ferrous substance. This seems odd, since they were clearly labeled "Carpet Tacks". Why didn't they taste of the wonderful artificial carpet fibers I have so often enjoyed in the past?

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

Recently, when I was framing some pictures for my upcoming exhibit at the San Diego Museum of Photographs of Marsupial and Government Cat-Food-Eaters I couldn't resist a taste of the succulent looking little tacks I was using to hold the backboards to the frames. They had a strangely metalic flavor, almost as if they were made of steel or some other ferrous substance. This seems odd, since they were clearly labeled "Carpet Tacks". Why didn't they taste of the wonderful artificial carpet fibers I have so often enjoyed in the past?

Obvioulsy carpet tacks aren't made of carpet. They are to be marinated in carpet for a few years before consumption at which point the fermented carpet should yeild a plume of airborn debris to accent the experience of consuming the tacks.

On a side note, why does my g/f insist on kissing my belly and telling me it's sexy?

 

[rocketboy]

On a side note, why does my g/f insist on kissing my belly and telling me it's sexy?

LOL...i think it's called teasing. I never understood why it's considered sexy either...I think they like messin with our heads (the kind with the brain)

are comments like these allowed on PF?

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

LOL...i think it's called teasing. I never understood why it's considered sexy either...I think they like messin with our heads (the kind with the brain)

are comments like these allowed on PF?

Ofcourse... but you may want to read some of the past comments on this page to see what sorts of questions and responses you're supposed to leave for this thread in particular.

So will you be a RocketMan one day, or was that your dad?

 

[zoobyshoe]

are comments like these allowed on PF?

There are only two comments allowed at PF. One is "Nice day." The other is "I appreciate the remarkable engineering that went into my refridgerator and will never push it over again." No other comments are allowed.


not sure this is the rite place to put this but... So...um...if say I had two socks that don't match is there a way i could get them to mate so id have a litter of socks that were all the same?

 

[Townsend]

not sure this is the rite place to put this but... So...um...if say I had two socks that don't match is there a way i could get them to mate so id have a litter of socks that were all the same?

Sorry, there is no possible way...socks are asexual so your only choice would be to run their dna through a gene splicing machine...

In the visible light spectrum we can mix colors to get new colors...if we could see all the possible frequencies of the spectrum, how many primary colors would there be?

 

[EnumaElish]

if we could see all the possible frequencies of the spectrum, how many primary colors would there be?

Exactly 1,000 -- refracted through one thousand points of light. (That's what dad wus referren to, eenit? :smirk:)

If primates are so good in imitating ("monkey see monkey do"), why don't other primates develop like us? All they have to do is to imitate. (It's not like they have to reinvent the bicycle; they can buy or borrow one and ride it in a funny way.)

 

[zoobyshoe]

If primates are so good in imitating ("monkey see monkey do"), why don't other primates develop like us? All they have to do is to imitate. (It's not like they have to reinvent the bicycle; they can buy or borrow one and ride it in a funny way.)

I hope you don't feel proud of this quetion.


Last night when I was dangling from the ceiling in a cocoon woven of old plastic shopping bags and discarded garments pulled from a dumpster, it occurred to me that I had never gotten to Iraq to visit the "hidey-hole" from which former Iraqi despot, Saddam Hussein had been pulled on the occasion of his capture so I resolved to telephone my travel agent in the morning.

This morning, however, I was distracted from that goal by the discovery that my telephone had become infested with a colony of insects quite unknown to me. More beetle-like than anything else, their appearance might have been occasioned by the fact that the last call I received was from someone claiming to be William Burroughs. (Could have been "Burns" though, or "Morrow"), wanting to collect on the unpaid termite control procedure I contracted to have performed last Spring. That being the case, I don't want to call yet another exterminator, so I'm wondering if anyone knows if these telephone-beetles are edible, since that would be the cheapest way to get rid of them?

 

[Math Is Hard]

This morning, however, I was distracted from that goal by the discovery that my telephone had become infested with a colony of insects quite unknown to me. More beetle-like than anything else, their appearance might have been occasioned by the fact that the last call I received was from someone claiming to be William Burroughs. (Could have been "Burns" though, or "Morrow"), wanting to collect on the unpaid termite control procedure I contracted to have performed last Spring. That being the case, I don't want to call yet another exterminator, so I'm wondering if anyone knows if these telephone-beetles are edible, since that would be the cheapest way to get rid of them?

I hate it when termite control people use these strong arm tactics to get people to pay up. Usually, shoving beetles through the phone line is their last ditch effort to get you to fork over the cash before they turn you over to a collection agency. And no, the beetles are not edible, unless you are a Ju/’hoansi. I had the same problem with a pest control company I hired last summer to help me with my ant problem. I was late on a few bills and I started getting late night calls with all manner of creepy crawlies pouring out of the phone when I ansered. The earwigs are particularly nasty. Make sure you cover the phone with cheesecloth.

Speaking of cheesecloth - I've noticed it doesn't look or taste anything like cheese. False advertising?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Speaking of cheesecloth - I've noticed it doesn't look or taste anything like cheese. False advertising?

Well, my understanding of cheese cloth is that it is intended to be used for sewing clothing for your cheese. A person, in the normal course of things, might easily decide their cheese would look well in a nice, airy summer outfit, and cheesecloth fits the bill.

Incidently, I saw a dog knock a garbage can over yesterday and then go trotting down the street with what appeared to be a shirt in its mouth. Has Bush cut funding for the Clothe The Animals centers?

 

[Mk]

I saw a dog knock a garbage can over yesterday and then go trotting down the street with what appeared to be a shirt in its mouth. Has Bush cut funding for the Clothe The Animals centers?

Yes, because PETA outdid them.

Interestingly they were convinced by local crackpot Dr. Zooby Shoe, to dress the strays with cheesecloth.

How did the dogs like that?

 

[EnumaElish]

Interestingly they were convinced by local crackpot Dr. Zooby Shoe, to dress the strays with cheesecloth.

How did the dogs like that?

No better than a monkey jockeying a horse in Hitler's clothes.

Would Hitler have become a better man had Eva not refused to comply with his diaper fetish?

 

[zoobyshoe]

Would Hitler have become a better man had Eva not refused to comply with his diaper fetish?

You know, it's funny you should ask that question, because recently I saw a photograph of a woman who looked like Eva. Actually, she was a lot taller, but same general idea, except she was brunette, not blonde, and I thought to myself, "From the looks of it, this woman could be German," and a glance down at her name revealed it to be "Ianinni" which proved I was right since her maiden name might have been German if she turned out to have married an Italian. They're both female, too, if I recall correctly. At least one of them was, so there's a 50-50 chance.

I learned today that my brain is producing my perception of the color yellow by comparing the overlapping stimulation of red and green cones cells in my eyes, and I'm very upset that there isn't such a thing as a yellow cone. I'm not sure it's reasonable to burden my brain with having to sort out this red/green comparison and I would like to start a petition to have the green cones replaced by straighforward yellow ones. This will leave more space in my occipital lobes for cool stuff like Voluntary 3-d Interpretation of 2-d Visual Fields, which means, of course, all movies will be viewed as 3-d. We could have had this already if it weren't for this stupid yellow business.

Will you sign?

 

[Mk]

Will you sign?

No, I'll cosine.

Do I look good in my sailor outfit?