Can I Get to Know Her Without Classes Together?

[lendav_rott]

You think too much. Go and get her.

 

[lisab]

You think too much. Go and get her, Tiger!

Fixed that for you .

 

[lendav_rott]

Hah, all in all @OP - women like confidence. You don't have to ask her out anywhere ever, just muster your courage and talk to her about nothing. It doesn't matter if she's with her friend, threesome is also a healthy solution ^^

Sleep well

 

[vk6kro]

Hah, all in all @OP - women like confidence. You don't have to ask her out anywhere ever, just muster your courage and talk to her about nothing. It doesn't matter if she's with her friend, threesome is also a healthy solution ^^

Sleep well

Pretty brave predicting what all women like.
I wouldn't even predict what one woman liked, let alone all of them. Maybe chocolate.

If you aren't confident, are you going to pretend you are? For how long?
What if that makes you look arrogant?

The threesome idea is good. It might stop the knee jerk reaction of telling you to get lost.

You don't have to immediately say which of them you are interested in, so each would be reluctant to speak for the other.

However, you might just become the third member of their gang, stuck in permanent mateship.

 

[lendav_rott]

Will you forever and ever keep on contemplating what someone might like or not like? The same way as I am talking to you, now, I am not thinking what kind of attitude personally, appeals to you most. I am, however, not insulting you or thrashing your opinion, because in general that's what people don't like. Whether or not you like me as a person means nothing to me, you don't know me, I don't know you.
It is my general experience that women do like confidence. What if this and what if that is kind of pointless to worry about.
One cannot appeal to everybody, if they keep on thinking what they Should do and how they Should act yade yade yade, it's all to eventually Not be themself. What is that people say all the time? Be yourself!

 

[Choppy]

I don't know if I'll end up liking her, I'd just like the chance to get to know her. I think I just need to wait till I see her alone in the hallway or something... she's always with this one other girl at lunch, who I also have never spoken to.

Okay, so you started this thread well over a month ago and still haven't talked to her.

Here's the problem... while you're waiting for the perfect opportunity to talk to her, some other guy is going to muster his courage and do it. Then you'll be left waiting on the sidelines.

As a general rule, people like being asked out. It's an ego boost. They may decide that they don't want to go out with you for a plethora of reasons - many of which will have nothing to do with you. But even if she doesn't find you attractive, even if her parents won't let her date, even if her friends judge you critically, or you're from a different social group... it will still feel good to know that someone has picked her out of a crowd and decided that he wants to get to know her better.

So how do you muster your courage?

First off, it helps to rationalize your fears. Ask yourself, what - realistically - is the worst that could happen? She has a boyfriend already? She's not interested and says no? While these things may hurt, they won't bring your world to an end. In fact, you may be better off in that you'll be able to move on with your life.

Second, practice. Of course it's hard to go up to someone you don't know and start a conversation. How many times do you get to do this in your daily life? Why not practice (the conversational aspects, I mean) by approaching other people you don't have a romantic interest in? Maybe try talking a little more to a shy kid who really needs a friend? Or spend a minute to ask the clerk at the grocery story how her day is going (assuming you're not holding up the line).

Third, (and perhaps in contrast to my first two points) don't over-think it. The act of asking someone out doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, it doesn't even have to be moderately smooth. But it does have to happen if two people are going to go out. So, just do it.

 

[Chronos]

The timid bird watches the other birds snap up the worm. Life is too short to live in regret of what you might have missed, so, why not just find out? Hell, neither one of you knows if you can even get along. It's not the kind of thing you can sort out in a Penrose diagram.