Can Reading Help Me Cope with Failure and Achieve My Dreams?

[smart_worker]

I could not qualify for JEE Advanced. I completely lost my dream of studying physics at IIT. I am going to take admission in computer science at a crap college. My 12th marks are very low to study physics at local colleges too. So i had no other options but to opt for computer science. I always want to be a physicist right from class 11. But unfortunately i couldn't make it. I feel so much depressed.

 

[Intrastellar]

1) Realise that it is your fault, it is due to your shortcoming, and not your parents, not the stupid school system, not your enemy-who-you-can-only-think-about-so-you-can't-study.

2) See where exactly were your shortcomings, and work on fixing them.

3) Try again with the improved version of your previous attempt.

The above advice is generic and works in many cases, but step (1) is especially important to you, and from reading your posts, I conclude that you are unaware of it.

 

[smart_worker]

1) Realise that it is your fault, it is due to your shortcoming, and not your parents, not the stupid school system, not your enemy-who-you-can-only-think-about-so-you-can't-study.

Yeah... now I realize that. Till now i was giving excuses.

 

[verty]

1) Realise that it is your fault, it is due to your shortcoming, and not your parents, not the stupid school system, not your enemy-who-you-can-only-think-about-so-you-can't-study.

2) See where exactly were your shortcomings, and work on fixing them.

3) Try again with the improved version of your previous attempt.

The above advice is generic and works in many cases, but step (1) is especially important to you, and from reading your posts, I conclude that you are unaware of it.

Sometimes a person can fall behind especially in math, especially if they are dyslexic or can't see clearly from the back of the classroom. They may not want to say anything, they may silently fall behind. And if that teacher is a poor one, they won't notice or respond. And often a person like this scrapes through with C's or D's because the tests and exams are easier than they should be or they have a a basic knowledge but little understanding. A year or two later and they are completely lost, and have lost interest in getting good grades.

So often, saying "it is your fault" is literally true, like someone had faulty vision, but this shouldn't deprive them of an education or a chance to make things right later.

 

[Yellowflash]

I agree with montadhar.

If you couldn't pass the exam, it is obvious that the university was not suitable for you, so in a way it is a good thing that you were able to get a realistic point of where you are.

If you really wanted to go to that university, you should have prepared for the exam more. The fact that you didn't seems to me as if you weren't interested in whether the university was suited for you, the academic environment there etc and it seems that you wanted to go there for the prestige only.

I am sure that there are numerous decent universities in your area, so you shouldn't call them "crap". If your grade 12 marks were low, it is obvious that you didn't put in enough effot. Just because you can't go to IIT doesn't mean you can not be a physicist. It seems to me that you have a very limited view of the world. Most physicists haven't gone to MIT, Harvard, IIT etc.

By opting for computer science, are you saying that there is no university in all of India which is willing to provide a physics education to you?

 

[Hercuflea]

I am not a fan of this shaming people for having failed at an exam - another word for 'an' opportunity to demonstrate your knowledge. It is not a measure of your value as a human being or your character. It is not a predictor of your success in life nor a condemnation to live a mediocre life.

Really, shaming people and telling them that they are no good for not having passed a test...how do you expect us to build our dwindling STEM workforce with that attitude towards people?

OP - realize that you didn't pass your exams the first time around, and yes sadly due to our current poor educational system those grades stay with you for life. It doesn't mean you can't change or study the things you want to. An exam is just an opportunity for you to demonstrate what you know. If you didn't pass the test it doesn't mean you are stupid, it just means you did not contain the necessary knowledge in your brain at that specific time. You just need to put more effort into learning what you need to know (I am not sure what level or subject you are at), and try again. Unfortunately, with your previous marks it's unlikely you could go to star schools like Oxbridge or MIT but it doesn't mean you can't learn physics or even become a physicist.

 

[smart_worker]

Sometimes a person can fall behind especially in math, especially if they are dyslexic or can't see clearly from the back of the classroom. They may not want to say anything, they may silently fall behind. And if that teacher is a poor one, they won't notice or respond. And often a person like this scrapes through with C's or D's because the tests and exams are easier than they should be or they have a a basic knowledge but little understanding. A year or two later and they are completely lost, and have lost interest in getting good grades.

So often, saying "it is your fault" is literally true, like someone had faulty vision, but this shouldn't deprive them of an education or a chance to make things right later.

no no.. I am good at math. I got 93% in class 10 math board exam. I am only a little dysgraphic not dyslexic. Also in India grading system is not followed. Another thing is that in most indian schools only those getting 90%+ in class 10 can study math and science in class 12. So everyone writing JEE are not dyslexic.

 

[Yellowflash]

Then there really is no excuse as to why you couldn't pass the exam except you didn't put in the required effort. I think you should go to another university and do well there. It won't make a lot of difference that you couldn't go to IIT.

 

[Intrastellar]

Sometimes a person can fall behind especially in math, especially if they are dyslexic or can't see clearly from the back of the classroom. They may not want to say anything, they may silently fall behind. And if that teacher is a poor one, they won't notice or respond. And often a person like this scrapes through with C's or D's because the tests and exams are easier than they should be or they have a a basic knowledge but little understanding. A year or two later and they are completely lost, and have lost interest in getting good grades.

So often, saying "it is your fault" is literally true, like someone had faulty vision, but this shouldn't deprive them of an education or a chance to make things right later.

When I say "it is your fault", I mean that you have the ability to control your circumstances, but you are not controlling them.

The OP was talking about failure, my suggestion was to improve and try again. I don't see where I said that they do not deserve the chance to make things right.

Unfortunately, with your previous marks it's unlikely you could go to star schools like Oxbridge or MIT but it doesn't mean you can't learn physics or even become a physicist.

Actually, I believe that the OP still has the chance to go to star schools like Oxbridge and MIT.

Edit:

Yeah... now I realize that. Till now i was giving excuses.

That is great! This is the first step towards achieving your dream of being a Physicist

 

[Choppy]

Rather than adopting an attitude of "I'm going into computer science at a crap college" it would be a lot more useful to assume an attitude of "I have the opportunity to study computer science."

We don't all have the same opportunities in life, unfortunately. It's not impossible that the deck has been stacked against you in many ways. But everyone has some opportunities and it's important to recognize those that come your way and make the best of them.

 

[AlephZero]

Actually, I believe that the OP still has the chance to go to star schools like Oxbridge and MIT.

Well, nothing is "impossible". But to get into Oxbridge you need grades that put you in the top 2% of UK school leavers. Even the OP's 93% in math probably isn't good enough, apart from the other grades.

As Choppy said, look at all the realistic options you have available and go for what suits you "best". If you start a degree where the subject doesn't interest you at a university you don't like, you are just setting yourself up to waste 3 or 4 years of your life getting another poor set of results.

 

[Fusiontron]

I think you should re-assess what you consider to be failure.

 

[Giant]

Class 10th marks do not determine weather you are smart or not.
I've seen countless amount of classmates who learn/mug-up all the sums from those hopeless textbooks and manage to get 100% marks in 10th maths exam this works unfortunately.12th maths is no different story. Just learn the formulae and you can score above average marks. You could be awesome at maths for all we know or awful too if you judge yourself based on those marks. On the other hand I have to agree JEE main was a good exam. While I would discourage you to judge yourself based on 10th or 12th marks,, JEE could determine how much you know and understand about the subject rather than the formulae. All the so-called 10th std scholars I knew couldn't even cross 100/360 marks in JEE. Those marks sets you different from all the rest so-called smart people.

Furthermore even if you score less in JEE it isn't the end of the world. If you want to study physics and if you think of nothing else other than physics and maths you can do BSc from any senior college give JAM in 3rd year and go to IIT for MSc. So you're dream isn't shattered. You have faced failure but you can only learn and move forward.Agreed it won't be the best education you'll get but you would do what you love. There are mannny more options remaining if you want to really study physics. Why Computer Science?

 

[Intrastellar]

Well, nothing is "impossible". But to get into Oxbridge you need grades that put you in the top 2% of UK school leavers. Even the OP's 93% in math probably isn't good enough, apart from the other grades.

Of course, he can't just apply now and hope to get accepted. I doubt he even has enough qualifications to apply to any of these. He still has work to do.

Can you please back up this claim: "Oxbridge you need grades that put you in the top 2% of UK school leavers"

In most courses (physics included), Oxbridge needs an A*AA in A-levels, which is a 90% in the main subject, and two 80% in two other subjects. Grades beyond that don't really matter as much. For physics at Oxford (Cambridge offers Natural Sciences only, no standalone physics degree. NatSci does offer physics as one of the courses though and you can specialise in later years) the main requirements are their own exam and an interview, if you can do very well in both of them, you are almost guaranteed an offer.

https://www2.physics.ox.ac.uk/study-here/undergraduates/applications/entrance-requirements

https://www2.physics.ox.ac.uk/study...pplications/admissions-procedures-for-physics
No. 7

 

[AlephZero]

Don't confuse the grades on a conditional offer to Oxbridge with what you have to do to be made the offer.

If they expect you are going to get four or five A* grades at A level, they will make you an offer of A*AA. If you are only offering 3 subjects and they think you might get A*AA or might not, they probably won't make an offer at all.

The reason they don't make offers higher than A*AA is basically political. For example they don't want to be branded as "elitist" by automatically excluding applicants from schools where students only have the opportunity to study 3 subjects.

They give an equivalent Indian qualification:

http://www.ox.ac.uk/admissions/undergraduate/international-students/international-qualifications

India Year XII qualification, studied with either the CBSE or ISC examination boards, with an achievement of 90% in each of the five subjects studied. Science subjects may also require that candidates take the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) entrance examinations as a pre-condition for entry.

Can you please back up this claim: "Oxbridge you need grades that put you in the top 2% of UK school leavers"

Sorry, I mis-remembered a quote. The Cambridge STEP examination is not aimed at the top 2% of all UK school leavers. It is aimed at the top 2% of A level candidates, which is a smaller subset than "2% of school leavers". See http://www.maths.cam.ac.uk/undergrad/admissions/guide.pdf page 5.

 

[thebiggerbang]

Hey! I'm an Indian, 2nd year Undergrad pursuing a Master's course in Physics at the BITS-Pilani K. K. Birla Goa Campus. The theoretical Physics department on our campus will surely rank in the top 10 (if not top 5) department for high energy and gravitational Physics (I assure you that after consulting people at other colleges and feedback from research institutes). I assume that you have still not given your BITSAT, so why not try to get in here? Don't give up yet!

 

[Vanadium 50]

Smart_worker, based on the totally of your postings, I think it's time for you to seek a professional counselor.

You have told us that the only way you will be happy is with a degree from one of the top handful of schools in the world. Yet you are not putting a serious effort towards this goal. For example, your study habits are poor, and yet you are fighting your parents in order to maintain these poor study habits - even though success will ensure that you will never, ever reach your goals.

 

[phyzguy]

I like to remember the quote that, "A success is just a failure who tried one more time."

 

[Intrastellar]

Sorry, I mis-remembered a quote. The Cambridge STEP examination is not aimed at the top 2% of all UK school leavers. It is aimed at the top 2% of A level candidates, which is a smaller subset than "2% of school leavers". See http://www.maths.cam.ac.uk/undergrad/admissions/guide.pdf page 5.

My apologies, I thought you meant top 2% in terms of A-level grades (high school). I completely agree with you in that case.
The problem with comparing STEP with Oxford's PAT or Cambridge's TSA for NatSci (if any), is that the STEP exam is done after the offer is given. It is part of the condition. While PAT is done before the interview and TSA at the interview.

Note to the OP: STEP, PAT/MAT and TSA are exams that are specific to university admissions (STEP and PAT/MAT by Cambridge and Oxford)

Don't confuse the grades on a conditional offer to Oxbridge with what you have to do to be made the offer.

If they expect you are going to get four or five A* grades at A level, they will make you an offer of A*AA. If you are only offering 3 subjects and they think you might get A*AA or might not, they probably won't make an offer at all.

Speaking of Oxford, since it is the closest thing to the wishes of the OP.

At the end of the interview process each candidate is assigned a total score calculated from the test scores and interview scores meaning PAT test scores, with the two components given equal weight. This score is used to rank all applicants, but as the score does not incorporate all relevant information (such as examination results, references, and personal statements) this rank is not used directly as an admissions criterion. It is, however, used to place all candidates in 3 bands: A, the top 100 or so candidates, who will normally be offered a place; B, the next 200 or so candidates, who might be offered a place; C, remaining candidates, who will not normally be offered a place.

Italic mine

https://www2.physics.ox.ac.uk/study...pplications/admissions-procedures-for-physics
No.7

Those in band A will normally be offered a place, so they just have to meet the conditions. Based on that, I believe that those who score very highly in band A will very likely be offered a place, even if admissions are not sure whether they will be able to get the A*AA.

 

[drizzle]

To the OP: Read.

 

[atyy]

I like Choppy's advice in #10.

 

[smart_worker]

To the OP: Read.

The link is not working.

 

[thegreenlaser]

Sometimes we fail and sometimes life isn't fair to us. Either way, moping about it won't do any good. Either cheerfully accept your circumstances or figure out how to change them.

 

[drizzle]

The link is not working.

There is no link smart_worker.

 

[Yellowflash]

I recall you saying that you graduated with 80% in grade 12. Is that a failure? Is that not enough to get into at least a somewhat decent university?

 

[smart_worker]

I recall you saying that you graduated with 80% in grade 12. Is that a failure? Is that not enough to get into at least a somewhat decent university?

Results are yet to arrive. I am expecting to get 80%. But that's not enough. I think there was a user named "sharan swarup". He had already discussed about this.

 

[smart_worker]

There is no link smart_worker.

Are you asking me to start READING for advanced and do well next year?

 

[Intrastellar]

Are you asking me to start READING for advanced and do well next year?

She is asking you to read to expand your outlook. In your free time, read some meaningful books. Do not think of it as work you have to do, but as something to fill your free time and help you develop yourself in the long term.
One book that I have heard of a lot but I have not read, is "the seven habits of highly effective teens". You can try to ask your parents to get you this book and see what they say.