Can someone tell me a good life story, please?

  • Thread starter Aero51
  • Start date
  • #26
lisab
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
1,955
617
Wow I didnt expect this topic to get so popular given the initial response. Hayley, thank you for sharing your story - it is good to hear about someone overcoming a great adversary in their lives. I commend you.

I know how it is to grow up under bad circumstances. I thought I finally escaped my past when I graduated from engineering school. Only after did I fall into a pit of hell when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after I was hospitalized for 2 weeks. I basically lost every opportunity to I had to go through graduate school smoothly in the span of 2 weeks. I also learned a great deal about why I was such a strange person growing up. 8 months later and I am still trying to pick up the pieces and fix my life and I am very, very scared that things aren't going to work out for me this time. Lost my stipend/income, lost a professors trust and an amazing research opportunity, tried to find a job but cant because of my gap in history, will have to pay for housing using financial aid (if I get my aid in time - otherwise I'm screwed), I accidentally enrolled in a summer course that I never took that I now have to pay for (with the money I don't have) and am not sure if I can get it off my transcript. On top of that these past few months have completely killed my self confidence and drastically changed how I feel about the whole "working hard pays off, honesty is the best policy, value integrity and respect" life doctrines.

Sorry to hear it, Aero. I've known people with mental illness, I have a lot of empathy for them -- having to deal with ineffective medical treatments and social stigma :frown:.

You have a diagnosis, though, right? You should go to your school and explain. At the very least, they should get that summer class off your transcript.
 
  • #27
HayleySarg
Gold Member
57
10
Wow I didnt expect this topic to get so popular given the initial response. Hayley, thank you for sharing your story - it is good to hear about someone overcoming a great adversary in their lives. I commend you.

I know how it is to grow up under bad circumstances. I thought I finally escaped my past when I graduated from engineering school. Only after did I fall into a pit of hell when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after I was hospitalized for 2 weeks. I basically lost every opportunity to I had to go through graduate school smoothly in the span of 2 weeks. I also learned a great deal about why I was such a strange person growing up. 8 months later and I am still trying to pick up the pieces and fix my life and I am very, very scared that things aren't going to work out for me this time. Lost my stipend/income, lost a professors trust and an amazing research opportunity, tried to find a job but cant because of my gap in history, will have to pay for housing using financial aid (if I get my aid in time - otherwise I'm screwed), I accidentally enrolled in a summer course that I never took that I now have to pay for (with the money I don't have) and am not sure if I can get it off my transcript. On top of that these past few months have completely killed my self confidence and drastically changed how I feel about the whole "working hard pays off, honesty is the best policy, value integrity and respect" life doctrines.

((hugs))

I'd take any formal documents you have on diagnosis (or get a diagnosis, obviously) and take it straight to the dean of students. I'd also sit down, as hard as it may be, and talk with your professor.

My father is schizophrenic, and he's had to deal with intermittent gaps in his work history all his life. Generally, I'm the one who sends a formal email to his employer for his leave of absence. Within that I disclose a few records (his formal diagnosis in the late 1980's, his course of treatment, his estimated time needed off, medical notes explaining that he isn't "dangerous")

He's technically schizo-effective, meaning he's both bi-polar and schizophrenic. He finds the depression swings are the worst, laying in bed for hours, even days. It literally sucks the life out of him. But somehow he manages to pull himself out of it and solve highly complex problems in IT. It's magic, honestly!

Your self confidence will return when you resolve the issue in some capacity. I wish you the best of luck. I know confronting professors and faculty on this issue is not only difficult, but likely mildly embarrassing. Don't let it be--mental health issues affect plenty of us. There is a stigma associated, but don't back down. You've shown that you're capable. You've shown that you work hard. The sooner you treat yourself with the respect you deserve, you'll be back on track. You are not less because of your bi-polar. Accept it as a facet of your being, adapt, and strive to succeed.

Cheers
 
  • #28
546
10
I have submitted the documents and I got my grades from Fall '12 expunged with no ramifications (this summer class I am not so sure about). The problem is that the professor found a replacement student for me and didn't seem to give a sheet when I explained my situation to him. Too tell you the truth I'm not at all embarrassed about my condition. I survived and did remarkably well given the severity of my disorder and my upbringing. If anything it makes other people feel uncomfortable when I am forward.

What I do feel like absolute garbage about is losing such a great opportunity after working so hard to overcome my past. People say things will work out, but I don't see how.

And for the record, this is a great very unpopular song.


And I like that Styx song, though I think it is silly being about aliens and all :/
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #29
HayleySarg
Gold Member
57
10
Hey, mini-sarg pep talk time!

You lost a great opportunity, it's true. Take what you learned and go forth with renewed vigor. I'm very pleased that you've seem to over-come the more paper-work-y bits of the process. Those are the worst.

Perhaps talk to the department chair, and ask if you may join up with another professor? I'm sure a more objective figure may be of help. I can understand your professors want to replace and move on when things are time based. It's unfortunate and really, a bit depressing. I'm bummed for you.

Either that or consider going for the M.S and then the PhD? I'm not too educated in education, but something tells me it might be easier to get "approved" for a shorter duration project. It's also a good starting point, and while it's a bit off the path you wanted, it's not entirely down a new road.

Just throwing out some ideas. Also, wonderful song.
 
  • #30
546
10
I am considering the MS then PhD route, but here's the catch: MS students will not receive funding. Unless you get a TA, which will not pay the bills, no professor will give you a grant for an MS thesis.

Unfortunately, this is the only professor in the department in my topic of choice.


Sigh.....
 
  • #31
143
2
I thought my life was not so great since my mother suffers from bipolar disorder (she thinks the American gov't is always searching for her; she keeps telling people she's innocent and that she isn't a terrorst; we're from Iraq), but I've changed my attitude.
 
  • #32
HayleySarg
Gold Member
57
10
I am considering the MS then PhD route, but here's the catch: MS students will not receive funding. Unless you get a TA, which will not pay the bills, no professor will give you a grant for an MS thesis.

Unfortunately, this is the only professor in the department in my topic of choice.


Sigh.....

Is it feasible to request to work with him without funding for the this year (both for him and your wallet) and reprove yourself? At this point, you look like a risky investment. Doing anything you can to dissuade that opinion of you seems wise. Just sending out some ideas.
 
  • Like
Likes 1 person
  • #33
drizzle
Gold Member
379
57
I thought my life was not so great since my mother suffers from bipolar disorder (she thinks the American gov't is always searching for her; she keeps telling people she's innocent and that she isn't a terrorst; we're from Iraq), but I've changed my attitude.

I'm sorry to hear that Turion :frown:
I'm glad you understand your mom, and I hope it gets better.
 
  • #34
1,195
512
I thought my life was not so great since my mother suffers from bipolar disorder (she thinks the American gov't is always searching for her; she keeps telling people she's innocent and that she isn't a terrorst; we're from Iraq), but I've changed my attitude.

That sounds more like Schizophrenia than bipolar disorder. Although, after 8 years of Bozo Bush I might be fearing the same thing if I were Iraqi. Maybe she's just fine.
 
  • #35
546
10
Yes, he said I could join his lab though I would get no funding. Just that money is seriously tight. My grandma just passed away and I think I'll have to sell some of her stuff just to get by.
 
  • #36
HayleySarg
Gold Member
57
10
I wish you the best Aero. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk further. I'm also a master of cheap food.

((hugs))
 

Related Threads on Can someone tell me a good life story, please?

  • Last Post
Replies
1
Views
2K
  • Last Post
Replies
19
Views
2K
  • Last Post
Replies
22
Views
4K
  • Last Post
Replies
2
Views
1K
  • Last Post
Replies
4
Views
1K
  • Last Post
2
Replies
32
Views
3K
  • Last Post
Replies
12
Views
3K
K
  • Last Post
Replies
2
Views
3K
  • Last Post
Replies
6
Views
2K
Top