Chuck Norris Counts to Infinity Twice

[radou]

Welcome to early 2006

Actually, I think it was even early 2005.

 

[ice109]

he's actually read 10 of them aloud on a sports show or something.

 

[Cyrus]

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

 

[JasonRox]

Did you guys not see this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8QAeoFdM5g&mode=related&search=

 

[ranger]

Did you guys not see this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8QAeoFdM5g&mode=related&search=

That was funny

 

[Physics_wiz]

Our (old) IC engines professor once was talking about the timing valves take to open and close. In a very serious tone he said, "valves never open and close instantly, only Chuck Norris can do that" and he just kept going through the lecture.

 

[radou]

Our (old) IC engines professor once was talking about the timing valves take to open and close. In a very serious tone he said, "valves never open and close instantly, only Chuck Norris can do that" and he just kept going through the lecture.

 

[ank_gl]

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

 

[Cyrus]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

[ank_gl]

oh sorry for that. have deleted it now. ok?
you may wish to do same

 

[matthyaouw]

"There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live." It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents. There is a God, a Creator, who made you and me. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures.

http://worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=52567

Oh Chuck!

 

[Kurdt]

http://worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=52567

Oh Chuck!

But of course, he has to maintain this Chuck fact.

...and so, the day before the first one, Chuck Norris said: "Let there be God."

 

[EugP]

This is one of my favourites:

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

 

[slugcountry]

Chuck Norris is 1/8 Cherokee. This has nothing to do with his ancestry, the man ate an Indian.

 

[Danger]

Cyrus... joke or not, how the hell can you possibly put 'Chuck Norris' and 'Facts' in the same phrase?

 

[Physics is Phun]

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

 

[russ_watters]

That one is great, PiP.

And hey, if you've never seen it, it's new to you [me].

 

[momentum_waves]

Who is Chuck Norris, when he's at home?

 

[Cyrus]

Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

 

[FizixFreak]

check norris goes to Mars without a space ship...
he just FARTS.

 

[IMP]

Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it effects the economy.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris does not “style” his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

When Chuck Norris does push ups he doesn't go up the Earth goes down.

Chuck Norris can pop a wheelie, on a unicycle.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Chuck Norris understands QFT.

 

[Borg]

Chuck Norris paints like Rembrandt but uses his eyebrows to challenge himself.

Chuck Norris played golf and got two holes in one - with the same tee shot.

Chuck Norris can reach through the internet to hit people.

If you have a dream of Chuck Norris hitting you, the injuries are real.

Chuck Norris can play Darts using a toothpick.

There are two states of matter in the universe - things that have been hit by Chuck Norris and things that will be hit by Chuck Norris.

Someone foolishly tried to rob Chuck Norris and told him to "reach for the sky". Chuck beat him with it.

 

[jostpuur]

Chuck Norris can win an internet troll in a debate.

 

[FizixFreak]

chuck Norris was born in a palace..., which he built by his own hands.

 

[Dembadon]

If you have five dollars, and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

 

[nismaratwork]

Chuck Norris has a prehensile penis, which he uses to deliver the 'Dim Mak' to his most loathed opponants. He invented PCP to level the playing field, and he has ichor for blood. His gaze is capable of impregnating or steralizing someone, male or female, at up to 50 yards. He can stare down a Siberian Tiger, and he is known as, "Rowr-Squack-Cheep", or, "Lord Of The Wild" in 'animal'.

Chuck Norris drinks bourbon from a Klein Bottle that is always full. He can spit fire, and eat nails, and his beard is also prehensile.

 

[FizixFreak]

chuck Norris received his driving license at 12 seconds of age

 

[nismaratwork]

chuck Norris received his driving license at 12 seconds of age

...And prompty purchased a Ford F-350!

I think he can only die at the hands of Stephen Seagal, or a Highlander!

 

[FizixFreak]

...And prompty purchased a Ford F-350!

I think he can only die at the hands of Stephen Seagal, or a Highlander!

How dare you say that he cannot be killed by anyone if chuck Norris has heard you then you will not be alive tomorrow