# Did your parents pressure you to pursue a certain career?

I...I just don't see the logic here.

You want to invest in money, um, why are they holding you back?

I'm not religious, so I guess I don't see it, my brother wants to be a surgeon, to "save lives" and he believes that what he is doing is good, and by good I mean above what others do.

But he's not exactly the nicest person around (don't get me wrong I love him), you gotta keep things in perspective, otherwise you're actually losing your humanity, I dislike biology too, but I can do it, have my parents pressured me? In a way, yes, since I was very little they "thought" I was going to be a computer scientist, turns out I love physics more than CS, but I want to apply it to something useful.

You have to do what you want to in life, otherwise, you will let others live through you, instead of you living your own life.

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Curious3141
Homework Helper
I'm 16 and a junior in high school and it's crazy. My parents are pressuring me to be a doctor it's not even funny, lol. I try to reason with them and I really don't understand why they think doctors are such "god-like" people, lol. I mean, I really love math and numbers and can work well with money and I like economy so I'm really interested in investment banking. I tell them all the facts of how if money is an issue for my future, ibanking yields more money, I tell them I love to do it, I'm good at it (I hate ad suck at biology. It doesn't interest me), and I'll be a lot better at something I enjoy. And now, the thing is, they are accepting the fact and they'll pay for my college but they don't support me with it.

Yeah, that's it. Anyone have any similar experiences.

Follow your heart. My parents pressured me into doing Medicine, and it hasn't made me one bit happier to have caved. I've made the best of a bad thing by segueing into Microbiology after becoming a medical doctor. I'm looking into doing a doctorate in Mathematical Biology, but whatever I do from this point on will always be a compromise.

My parents are ethnically Indian too - and to answer a question not yet asked with a paraphrase from an oft-quoted Math-themed movie : "With a dot, not feathers".

the same applies to all of the staff on PF, and a lot of the regular non-staff members.

'bout time I got some recognition around here.

My parents never really pressured me to do a particular career, they just wanted me to get some "letters behind my name". I think pretty well anything I would have picked within reason would have been fine with them. Neither of them went on to post-secondary school so they were just happy I went at all, I ended up going to university but they would have been just as happy with a tech school or college. I actually have a bit of the opposite problem, I have aspirations to get a PhD and become a clinical chemist but they don't want me to, they think I will become a "professional student" or something. They want me to quit after my bachelors, and I'm not sure if that is what I want or not.

I used to live in Scotland before moving to Vancouver in 2007. My mum used to tell me, 'You have to become a doctor, you want to become a doctor, don't you?' and I didn't want to break her heart and I told her that I didn't know what I wanted to be. I still don't have that drive to become a doctor. My brother is in dentistry in Australia. Luckily for him, he loves dentistry. As for me, I still haven't a clue what I want to be, and I have to pick my major for second year in a few months time. I used to be passionate about astronomy, but the maths and physics has turned me away from it. I prefer to work hands on rather than with a pen, paper, and calculator.

Danger
Gold Member
my brother wants to be a surgeon, to "save lives" and he believes that what he is doing is good, and by good I mean above what others do.

But he's not exactly the nicest person around

A lot of surgeons, like a lot of fighter pilots, are that way. I think that it's almost essential to those professions, since any sort of affinity for other humans can be counter-productive. A surgeon can't afford to get invested in the patient as an individual because it could cloud his/her judgement, and leave him/her dwelling upon one patient's well-being while treating another. A fighter pilot can't afford to think of the opposing pilot as a person, or he might hesitate before firing.
That's not to say that either type of person is uncaring in general; it's just that a clinical approach is necessary in their professions.
Regardless of your brother's personality, if he really wants to be a surgeon and is skilled at it, he will probably be a really good one and will benefit society by his presence in the field of medicine.

Mother was ok with what I chose, but father on the other hand.....

Told my mother what I wanted to become (physics lecturer) and she lept with joy, but when I told my father that I will not take over the Nahas construction company, He almost lept and died.

yes yes, most of us have this problem, amazing how many kids are here.

Gib Z
Homework Helper
I'm 16 and a junior in high school and it's crazy. My parents are pressuring me to be a doctor it's not even funny, lol. I try to reason with them and I really don't understand why they think doctors are such "god-like" people, lol. I mean, I really love math and numbers and can work well with money and I like economy so I'm really interested in investment banking. I tell them all the facts of how if money is an issue for my future, ibanking yields more money, I tell them I love to do it, I'm good at it (I hate ad suck at biology. It doesn't interest me), and I'll be a lot better at something I enjoy. And now, the thing is, they are accepting the fact and they'll pay for my college but they don't support me with it.

Yeah, that's it. Anyone have any similar experiences.

That situation is uncannily similar to mine, except I'm going into pure math and I'm not that bad at bio, nor particularly dislike it. Other than that, every things the same.

George Jones
Staff Emeritus
Gold Member
My parents didn't pressure me to pursue any particular career.

My father died in my last year of high school, and he just wanted me to be well-read. He didn't care whether this came about as the result of formal education, or as the result of my efforts away from school.

My mother did put some gentle pressure on me to do well in school. She did this largely because of her own unfortunate experience with school, an experience about which she was still bitter sixty years after the fact.

My mother was from a very poor family of nine children, and her mother said that the first girl who finished grade eight had to give up school in order to help with the day-to-day work involved with maintaining such a large family. My mother excelled at and loved school, and she had a sister a year older than her, so she wasn't worried. However, my mother did so well at school that she skipped a grade, and her sister did poorly at school and failed a grade, so my mother ended up a grade ahead of her sister. My grandmother did not make an exception; my mother had to quite school when she finished grade eight. In effect, my mother was punished for doing well at school.

I understand why my mother wanted me to pursue formal education as far as possible.

A lot of surgeons, like a lot of fighter pilots, are that way. I think that it's almost essential to those professions, since any sort of affinity for other humans can be counter-productive. A surgeon can't afford to get invested in the patient as an individual because it could cloud his/her judgement, and leave him/her dwelling upon one patient's well-being while treating another. A fighter pilot can't afford to think of the opposing pilot as a person, or he might hesitate before firing.
That's not to say that either type of person is uncaring in general; it's just that a clinical approach is necessary in their professions.
Regardless of your brother's personality, if he really wants to be a surgeon and is skilled at it, he will probably be a really good one and will benefit society by his presence in the field of medicine.

I agree, I just don't think what he does (or is going to do) is godlike or better than what an artist does or an engineer, or any other profession, I think we need everyone, not just surgeons.

Astronuc
Staff Emeritus
I used to live in Scotland before moving to Vancouver in 2007. My mum used to tell me, 'You have to become a doctor, you want to become a doctor, don't you?' and I didn't want to break her heart and I told her that I didn't know what I wanted to be. I still don't have that drive to become a doctor. My brother is in dentistry in Australia. Luckily for him, he loves dentistry. As for me, I still haven't a clue what I want to be, and I have to pick my major for second year in a few months time. I used to be passionate about astronomy, but the maths and physics has turned me away from it. I prefer to work hands on rather than with a pen, paper, and calculator.
Consider then astrophysics or applied physics or EE so that one can build/operate instruments for observing/studying the universe.

Any science and engineering (applied science) will involve math and physics, otherwise one is just a technician, not that that is bad. I prefer to mix the theory (math and physics) with application (hands on/tinkering).

Moonbear
Staff Emeritus
Gold Member
A lot of surgeons, like a lot of fighter pilots, are that way. I think that it's almost essential to those professions, since any sort of affinity for other humans can be counter-productive. A surgeon can't afford to get invested in the patient as an individual because it could cloud his/her judgement, and leave him/her dwelling upon one patient's well-being while treating another. A fighter pilot can't afford to think of the opposing pilot as a person, or he might hesitate before firing.
That's not to say that either type of person is uncaring in general; it's just that a clinical approach is necessary in their professions.
Regardless of your brother's personality, if he really wants to be a surgeon and is skilled at it, he will probably be a really good one and will benefit society by his presence in the field of medicine.

I don't entirely agree. Surgeon's can be pretty arrogant, but they still have to care for the patients, or at least appear that they care. Afterall, that is the one aspect of medicine where a patient has to trust the doctor more than any other...the surgeon is going to cut you open and fix you while you're unconscious and can't intervene if you think something isn't being done right (um...you were supposed to amputate the other leg doc). A surgeon of course needs to sound very confident to reassure the patient they know what they are doing, but if they come across as mean or rude or unapproachable, a patient might just as well run off and refuse to have a life-saving procedure done for fear the surgeon will just make them worse or kill them on the table.

Our lab tech just went through an experience like this. He needed surgery, and kept putting it off and putting it off and putting it off...he just didn't like the surgeon he first talked to and was too uneasy about the procedure and preferred to keep living with the pain and discomfort rather than get the surgery done by someone he didn't trust. The rest of us in the lab kept trying to reassure him and tell him not to put it off, to go get better, etc. FINALLY, he scheduled an appointment with a different surgeon, and a week later was getting the surgery. At first, he said he was nervous because she was so young (to him anyway) and didn't know if she was experienced enough, but she sat and talked to him about his concerns and the procedures she'd done, and he found out she trained with another surgeon who had done an earlier procedure for him that he was completely happy about the outcome, and all this reassured him...he said at the end of the consultation, he trusted her completely and was ready to finally get the surgery done.

Thanks for the replies. Makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone in this situation :)

Geez. You guys that have parents that want you to go to college for ANYTHING are lucky.

And the ones that their parents will pay for college....geez......how can you complain at all.

So you guys are telling me that no one in here had parents that told them (and continue to tell them) that school is a HUGE waste of money and urged them to not go?

I ENVY ALL OF YOU GUYS!

No, not really.

My dad would cream his pants if I told him I were to not do physics and do engineering instead. He did physics (3 years, eng was 5 - he also started college at 22 and had to do a foundation year...) because it was a shorter course and thought of it to be more of a challenge. He ended up regretting that decision a lot *after* his studies because he always had a hard time finding employment. I think his situation would've been different if he was a bit more free to do what he wanted to and not what he *had* to do.

My mother would also love me to get involved in some kind of health care; medicine, veterinary or otherwise. Even optometry. I was not entirely against the idea when I was younger but as I grew older, I learned more about myself (or I just changed!) and recently, I managed to convince them that I wasn't the kind of person who'd be a good doctor. A good problem solver, maybe but doctor? Hell no. (hint: username)

Bottom line: Nope, I'm not being pressured. I am only expected to finish college, be able to take care of myself and only then, take care of them. At least, that's how they seem to think of it. They have never actually *demanded* directly that I do this, this and that. My dad would prefer me doing maths over physics because he thinks it would make life easier post-university. (again, his own bad experiences)

Personally, I'm not very picky. As long as the subject(s) keeps me interested and gets me , I have nothing to complain about.

Geez. You guys that have parents that want you to go to college for ANYTHING are lucky.

And the ones that their parents will pay for college....geez......how can you complain at all.

So you guys are telling me that no one in here had parents that told them (and continue to tell them) that school is a HUGE waste of money and urged them to not go?

I ENVY ALL OF YOU GUYS!

My brother is not very partial to the idea of me staying in school too long. He didn't and it worked out brilliantly for him. If he had it his way, he wouldn't have gone to college at all. (from what I know...)