Elias1960 said:
What is established science is semiclassical gravity. This is an approximation, where the gravitational field simply follows classical equations, and as the energy-momentum tensor of matter a classical approximation is used.
To be more precise, "semiclassical" means you use the classical EFE for the spacetime geometry, with the expectation value of some appropriate operator as the effective stress-energy tensor.
Elias1960 said:
let's note one aspect where Planck size effects become relevant during the collapse: it is when the collapsing star has reached a size so that surface time dilation reaches a level where a single Planck time on the surface lasts longer than the age of the universe, or where a particle of Hawking temperature for the outside observer reaches Planck mass energy on the surface.
No, this does not make Planck size effects relevant during the collapse, because the "time dilation" you refer to is for a
stationary object, i.e., one that is "hovering" at a constant ##r##. But the collapsing matter is not stationary; it's free-falling inward.
The proper criterion, according to classical GR, for when quantum gravity effects should become relevant is when the spacetime curvature approaches the Planck scale. That is not even close to being true at, or well inside, the horizon of any black hole of stellar mass or larger.
Elias1960 said:
every statement contradicting this sentence is also only quantum gravity speculation. Like the following sentence
That sentence is simply classical GR, which is what we are using in this forum. Classical GR is a very well confirmed theory, and it gives a clear criterion, given above, for when its predictions should become inaccurate due to quantum gravity effects. So calling those predictions "speculations" is not correct.
Elias1960 said:
if one uses the coordinates of the infalling observer, then nothing special happens near the horizon, so that quantum gravity effects cannot become relevant already near the horizon
The argument has nothing to do with coordinates. It has to do with the spacetime curvature being way, way short of the Planck scale, as stated above. That is an invariant criterion, independent of any choice of coordinates.
Elias1960 said:
this argument presupposes that in quantum gravity the Strong Equivalence Principle remains valid
As noted above, quantum gravity discussions are off topic for this forum. If you want to discuss these kinds of speculations, please start a separate thread in the appropriate forum.