Feedback on physics graduate school admissions essay

[eprparadox]

Helloo,

So I've spent some time drafting an admissions essay and I've had a professor read it over and he's said that he likes it. However, I'm still not convinced. I sent it to a couple of my graduate school friends who are studying English and they say it's so drab and boring, but I'm not sure they're the best to be critiquing my writing for graduate school in physics!

I'm not sure if I'm overstepping my bounds with this forum, but would anyone be willing to look it over and offer some suggestions?

Thanks ahead of time.

 

[micromass]

Sure! Post it here, I'm not good at these kind of things, but I'll say what I think of it. I'm sure others here will have valuable feedback for you.

 

[eprparadox]

Hey! I hope you don't mind, but I private messaged you. I tend to be a bit guarded about my writing and what I post to the internet.

Thanks for the help. I appreciate it.