Help a 19 Year Old Confused Love Newbie Find a Solution

[heman]

Valayar...i forgot to ask one important question..Whats your nationality ?

I think whatever advices are being given,the culture effect hasnt been taken into account which really adds complications..half of the world doesn't know what happens in other half...

But yeah i would love to take a guess...you sound to me from Asian continent(?) and most probably from India itself(?) and from Kerala( ?) ..(If i am wrong..forgive me..was just testing my instinct )

 

[Valayar]

Wow, you guys are prolific.

So.

For now I've managed to install a better contact. I've had a good (or great ?) time with her and some friends yesterday. That was the first time since the beginning of the summer holiday.

Clearly nothing has changed, because I've been partly incapable of being a little bit more reckless in my intentions, and I've partly followed pieces of advice written here...

For now I completely agree that I have to keep a "low profile", as I still have much to do...

I really can meet her at anytime of the week. We don't live very far from each other, maybe 5 minutes walk. We have a lot of friends in common, and go out at the same places.

I really don't know if this is getting somewhere. I went to the cinema alone tonight, and I've been giving some more thoughts on the situation. I'm wondering if I'm not acting as someone immature. My mood keeps wobbling...

I can't help thinking that she really doesn't need me. She doesn't need any declaration. This isn't just an impression, it can't be very far from reality.
Do I have a completely selfish behaviour ? Am I trying to solve questions I can't solve without more personal experience ?

I still have that impression that I'll never be ready for nothing. Am I ready for any relationship if I'm simply unable to relativise more ?

About love itself... I can read that you have some different definitions. I can't define love. I've simply met someone very intelligent and beautiful, always smiling, with a great sense of humor... I don't get the impression to act in a play when I meet her. I have a clear contact with someone purer than anyone else.

We'll probably see each other on thursday, but that's a kind of alcohol-oriented party.

Please don't worry, I'm not going to let this topic grow as large as the other one. ;-)

@heman : wrong guess. ;-) I'm from Europe.

Good night ! (GMT +1)

 

[turbo]

I guess that would be because of your long beard...so even if you get excited by any chance[seems highly improbable ]your beard hides all expressions and prevents from giving unwanted signals...hmmmm..right ?

When you talk to Astronuc (or to me) physical appearances go out the window. I think I'm an honest person, and he has convinced me that he is at least as honest as I am. We share a lot of past culture and we are pretty straightforward on current concepts and trends.

 

[Astronuc]

I guess that would be because of your long beard...so even if you get excited by any chance[seems highly improbable ]your beard hides all expressions and prevents from giving unwanted signals...hmmmm..right ?

Well, I'm not sure I understand the question.

I have a beard, but I don't hide behind it. In fact, I recently realized, I've had a beard for the last 30 years, except for about 10 days in June 1981, when I shaved while looking for a job in the offshore oil industry. Basically beards or long hair, which would soak up oil and present a fire hazard, were allowed. I ended up getting a good paying job as an iron worker.

When you talk to Astronuc (or to me) physical appearances go out the window. I think I'm an honest person, and he has convinced me that he is at least as honest as I am. We share a lot of past culture and we are pretty straightforward on current concepts and trends.

Thanks, turbo!

Turbo and I are kindred spirits, and certainly share a lot of past culture.

I'm not too sure about recent (or rather popular) culture. I am something of an anachronism. I don't relate well to modern (popular) culture.

 

[rewebster]

"We'll probably see each other on thursday, but that's a kind of alcohol-oriented party."


That's sounds like an opportunity to 'ask' her to join you to go there---even if you know she is going and she knows you are going. Pick her up (not literally) at her home and make the trip 'to' the party together