How can I get my father to leave smoking?

[Frigus]

Have anyone of you been successful to get your father/mother/closely related person to quit smoking.
I tried to stop him by stop talking to him and result was his sugar level raised due to tension and reached 500 so I had to start talking him,
I tried to talk to him about it and he just ignored it and gave me humorous replies about it.
He had tried to quit smoking 2-3 times but failed.
This gives me tension and is now affecting my studies and my mood gets very off whenever I hear lighter sounds.
Please don't say that it's his choice and I should stop attempting to convince him.
Thanks.

 

[mcastillo356]

In my case it's an obsession. My father just smokes and watches tv. He has gave up this world. It's encouraging

 

[Tony Hau]

Recently my father is quitting smoking by tapering. Do you know what tapering is? It means reducing the number of cigarettes he smokes bit by bit.

For example, he initially smokes 15 times per day and reduces to 10 times per day. After a while when he gets used to it, he tries to smoke 7 times per day. I think it works, although he has not completely quitted smoking yet; he coughs less, can climb up stairs more easily and suffers much less pain than when he quits smoking all at once.

 

[Vanadium 50]

Please don't say that it's his choice

Once you're down that path your father can tell you what to eat, what to drink, whom to date, where to work, etc. Don't tell me it's your choice.

Fact is, it is his choice, and if you approach it as if it isn't, you are not likely to succeed.

 

[jack action]

Why do you want him to quit?

I'm guessing you are afraid he will die of smoking. Not all smokers die of smoking. Many die of something else, like being hit by a car or having an unrelated disease. It is a possibility for everyone. And yes, some die of old age. I know a guy who's 75 years-old and has been a heavy smoker all of his life. Still breathing normally.

Smoking may increase your chance of dying, but it is not like signing a death certificate (like, say, drinking a liter of ammonia).

No matter what, you should enjoy your time with your father as much as you can. If you think he will die soon, you should be convinced of that even more. I don't see how punishing him can be helpful in that way.

This gives me tension and is now affecting my studies

Are you trying to control your environment to feel better?

The key is to accept and adapt to your environment, not the other way around.

So I'm not saying you should encourage your father to smoke and I'm not saying you should stop encouraging him to quit, but you should definitively stop obsessing about it. Get help if needed.

This is about you, not him. And your behavior is evidently destructive to both you and your father right now.

 

[Frigus]

Once you're down that path your father can tell you what to eat, what to drink, whom to date, where to work, etc. Don't tell me it's your choice.

Fact is, it is his choice, and if you approach it as if it isn't, you are not likely to succeed.

I just wanted to say that that my goal is clear i.e to get my father stop smoking and Sorry that I was not able to explain properly what I wanted to say.

I know a guy who's 75 years-old and has been a heavy smoker all of his life. Still breathing normally.

This is exactly what every smoker says.
most probably I am wrong but I think it is nothing more then lying to heart

you should enjoy your time with your father as much as you can. If you think he will die soon

And This is what every smoker wants.

The key is to accept and adapt to your environment, not the other way around.

I don't want to adapt but I want to Change it.
I can adapt but the problem is that by adapting I can never be happy from inside but outside only.

I don't see how punishing him can be helpful in that way.

I felt it too but whenever I hear lighter clicking sound I get filled with anger and crying feeling and I can't control it.

 

[jbriggs444]

I felt it too but whenever I hear lighter clicking sound I get filled with anger and crying feeling and I can't control it.

You cannot control your father. You cannot control yourself. That does not leave much space to search for an optimal choice. Perhaps we can re-word the search parameters. Can you influence your father? Can you influence yourself?

 

[Tony Hau]

However, my father quits smoking voluntarily. It is because he feels more difficult to climb stairs as he smokes more, and the price of cigarettes here in Hong Kong is becoming more expensive; one pack of cigarette costs 60 HKD. We are not that rich after all.

I think you need to make him understand smoking is bad to both his and his family's health. However, if he doesn't quit, ask him simply to smoke at kitchen so that the effect of second-hand smoke on your health can be significantly reduced . I guess that is what you are worrying, right?

 

[hutchphd]

I see from your bio that you are sixteen. Because I am more than four times your age, I feel entitled to offer you some hard won wisdom:

The only behavior you can ever control is your own.​

Failure to recognize this will almost guarantee unhappiness and frustration as a daily diet for life So what can you do to further this goal?. The answer may be nothing. Perhaps you can engage your father in some more vigorous activity? Give it some constructive thought.

 

[Frigus]

By reading all these replies of you people I am now convinced that their is no chance of making him quit smoking by forcing but is their any thing I can do?
I also want to tell that they are free nowadays so is there any activity in which he can engage and realize to quit smoking?

 

[hutchphd]

As a long ago smoker I can attest to the pleasure of the addiction...people's ability to stop is quite variable. The thing you can do immediately is cease the things that don't work! I think any physical activity is helpful as is a more positive approach to physical fitness. The dynamic between a father and son is far too difficult to diagnose from afar...just be sure he knows you care...you might be pleasantly surprised.

 

[Frigus]

As a long ago smoker I can attest to the pleasure of the addiction...people's ability to stop is quite variable. The thing you can do immediately is cease the things that don't work! I think any physical activity is helpful as is a more positive approach to physical fitness. The dynamic between a father and son is far too difficult to diagnose from afar...just be sure he knows you care...you might be pleasantly surprised.

Thanks sir,
I am now trying to talk to him more happily and trying to encourage him to adapt healthy habits and it feels better but I am fearing if he takes it as green sign to smoke.

 

[russ_watters]

Have anyone of you been successful to get your father/mother/closely related person to quit smoking.

Please don't say that it's his choice and I should stop attempting to convince him.

When my sister and I were in grade school, we badgered* my dad to quit smoking and he did. Did we influence him to quit? I'm not sure, but I'd like to think so. Ultimately though, it really is his choice. As others have said, he makes his choices and you make yours, and that's how life works.

You can try to influence him by telling him how his choice makes you feel (sad/upset) and by taking actions based on his choice (not being around him while he is smoking), but that's it. Whether you are religious or not, The Serenity Prayer is good for this bit of life wisdom:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

You'll be a lot happier if you don't try to base your happiness on other peoples' choices. You can state your opinion, but then you have to let it go. Otherwise you create unhappiness for both of you.

*Kids are annoying by nature, so this is something that is tolerated when kids are kids, but as adults you need to respect each other as adults who make your own choices.

 

[Frigus]

My father left smoking today!
I pray that he never smokes again.

 

[hutchphd]

It may well take him more than one try to succeed. Keep giving him support regardless. I am pleased for you both.

 

[Averagesupernova]

I once had someone tell me that there is nothing to quitting. They had done it many many times.

 

[mcastillo356]

Now, right now, is when your father needs more help, to keep far from smoking. Maybe a cognitive-conductual psicologist should help. Some kind of psicological support, advice, prevention... Please, don't misunderstand me, and forgive my poor english. I've just thought it. It's 0.31 AM. I'm going to bed. Please, delete or ignore it if it is not appropiate.

 

[Frigus]

Now, right now, is when your father needs more help, to keep far from smoking. Maybe a cognitive-conductual psicologist should help. Some kind of psicological support, advice, prevention... Please, don't misunderstand me, and forgive my poor english. I've just thought it. It's 0.31 AM. I'm going to bed. Please, delete or ignore it if it is not appropiate.

He is leaving smoking under the supervision of doctor and doctor has prescribed some patches to paste on back,
So maybe his journey will be less painful.

 

[DaveC426913]

his sugar level raised due to tension and reached 500

I use mmol/L units so numbers like this cause my eyes to pop out.

That's 28 to the rest of us.

Mine was 34 when I stumbled into a walk-in clinic for the first time. They sent to straight to the hospital.

 

[Frigus]

Mine was 34 when I stumbled into a walk-in clinic for the first time. They sent to straight to the hospital.

If it was me then i would have died rather of heart attack than diabetes.

 

[DaveC426913]

If it was me then i would have died rather of heart attack than diabetes.

Well, that was 15 years ago. I doubt I'd still be alive if it had been a heart attack rather than Diabetes.

 

[Frigus]

Well, that was 15 years ago. I doubt I'd still be alive if it had been a heart attack rather than Diabetes.

Sorry for my high level of english,
I didn't meant what you have interpreted,this message(#20) was an attempt to convert a phrase of my language into english and i think during conversion the meaning of the sentence changed.

 

[DaveC426913]

Sorry for my high level of english,
the meaning of the sentence changed.

My interpretation was: if you were in that position - and given a choice of death by heart attack or death by Diabetes - you would have chosen heart attack. Did I misread?

 

[Frigus]

My interpretation was: if you were in that position - and given a choice of death by heart attack or death by Diabetes - you would have chosen heart attack. Did I misread?

I wanted to say that I would have died of panic after knowing that my sugar level is that high.