How Do I End a Relationship When My Partner is Depressed?

[Cyrus]

Is that all you drink for the night? I'll pay for all your drinks! The blokes over here binge hardout that's why no girl offers to pay for them

My kinda woman. <slaps her on the butt>

Anyways, I'm going to sleep.

Nice foto, Ciao,

 

[rhuthwaite]

Wait! what's a cover charge?
What time is it there?

 

[JasonRox]

I've never bought a lady a drink before.

I wouldn't call that being a gentlemen of any sort. It's like what cyrus said, being a chump.

You're better off being witty if you want to get some.

 

[Mk]

Ehhhh... buying tons of alcohol for a women often means you are more of a guy trying to have sex with them than a gentleman trying to meet them. But they know this the minute they start talking to you, unless you are a pretty good liar.

 

[rhuthwaite]

I am no liar. Guess just saying that when I go to town I generally don't have to pay for drinks, unless i insist or decide its my turn to buy everyone a round.

 

[big man]

I'm usually a good read on the "get some"... I guess it depends on my mood. 30 dollars some nights is worth it. Other nights... nahh.

I buy if she buys... that's my deal.

haha taken out of context here that is the funniest thing I've read in a while.
It sounds like a discussion on bargaining for a prostitute.

Gotta agree with what Jason and Mk said about not acting like a gentleman in general if you are buying drinks to 'get some'.

 

[Danger]

Eh, you forgot. Its $10 cover charge, $4.50 for a each beer (usually have 1 or 2), and $6.50 for a wiskey and coke (usually have 2).

Man, I'm glad that I don't live where you do. (Well, I am anyhow, but that cinches it.)
We walk to the bar, no cover charge unless there's a special band such as when Prism or the Headpins are there, beers are $3.50... (with occassional freebees for being good customers)... and that's in Canuk currency. I generally have 6-15, and W maybe 6 or 10, plus $10-12 for supper and maybe another $5 for a few games of pool. We simply couldn't afford your kind of night-life.

 

[JasonRox]

Man, I'm glad that I don't live where you do. (Well, I am anyhow, but that cinches it.)
We walk to the bar, no cover charge unless there's a special band such as when Prism or the Headpins are there, beers are $3.50... (with occassional freebees for being good customers)... and that's in Canuk currency. I generally have 6-15, and W maybe 6 or 10, plus $10-12 for supper and maybe another $5 for a few games of pool. We simply couldn't afford your kind of night-life.

In Niagara Falls, Ontario, there is a bar that has a $15 cover charge, and $6 beers!

 

[rhuthwaite]

We don't have cover charges at all we just pay for the drinks. Most people drink before they go out then don't buy many when they are out. Or we hit the shot shack before town

 

[FrogPad]

We don't have cover charges at all we just pay for the drinks. Most people drink before they go out then don't buy many when they are out. Or we hit the shot shack before town

shot shack?

 

[rhuthwaite]

It one of the smallest bars you wil ever go to (except mini bar) and it just sells shots. You can only buy like 7 shots at a time and they are really cheap. Its awsome!

 

[FrogPad]

It one of the smallest bars you wil ever go to (except mini bar) and it just sells shots. You can only buy like 7 shots at a time and they are really cheap. Its awsome!

They should just have an IV station, you could go, put a needle in your arm and wouldn't even have to taste the alcohol.

PS - That's friggen awesome. I'd kill it on spring break. I *heart* vodka

Where do you live by the way?

 

[FrogPad]

by the way I just meant what country?

are you in the states? I've never heard of a shot shack so...

 

[rhuthwaite]

New Zealand so if you come over here ever I'll take you there! Its my favourite place. Great for 18th and 21st birthdays - don't know if you guys have the tradition, either do a yard on 21st or 21 shots and on 18th - 18 shots

 

[Cyrus]

I think your body ran out of blood and is pumping pure alcohol. Damn woman!

And all this time I thought Danger could drink.

 

[FrogPad]

New Zealand so if you come over here ever I'll take you there! Its my favourite place. Great for 18th and 21st birthdays - don't know if you guys have the tradition, either do a yard on 21st or 21 shots and on 18th - 18 shots

My friend did 21 shots on his 21st... he was absolutly retarded. It's a bar that we usually go to. They made him carry around a bucket the entire night :)

He didn't use it... but there were a few times where I thought he was going to. We were asses to him also, I bought him all types of gross shots that night :)

New Zealand! That's cool. One of my really good friends moved out to Australlia about a year ago. She goes to Queensland.

What time is it over there?
It's 8:36... oh you prolly use a 24 hour clock. It's 20:36 here (oct 17).

 

[rhuthwaite]

its 4.47pm (oct 18th)
Aussies nice I like it there go there pretty often (and south africa my homeland)! What shots do you count as gross? I love the samboka black! 21 shots and I am well on my way, good thing I don't get hang overs!

 

[FrogPad]

Some of my favorites to give to people I don't like are:

Cement Mixer
1 shot Bailey's Irish cream
1/2 shot lime juice
1/2 shot 151 proof rum

Fill one shot glass with Bailey's. Fill second shot glass with Lime and 151.

To Drink:
Pour Bailey's into mouth, do not swallow. Pour Lime and 151 into mouth. Shake head back and fourth, the shot will turn solid.

Four Horsemen
1/4 oz Bourbon (Jim Beam)
1/4 oz Tennessee whiskey (Jack Daniel's)
1/4 oz Scotch (Johnnie Walker Red)
1/4 oz Tequila (Jose Cuervo)

Shot of 151 (yuck)
This is good to give to people who only drink beer ;)

Then sometimes I'll just buy the girliest drink possible, like a sex on the beach, or ... oh I fogot, hehe.

Another good one is a,
Screaming Orgasm

That's actually a good tasting shot though, but it's fun to make people buy that for you.

 

[FrogPad]

How can you not get hang overs! Are you really a robot?

 

[Danger]

I don't get hangovers either. That might, perhaps, be because it would necessitate sobering up in the first place.
Frogpad, some of the **** that you describe will be added to my list of things to order for people that I don't like. (As mentioned elsewhere in this forum, I was a bartender/bouncer in a cowboy bar for 17 years, so I had my methods. ) One shot that you didn't mention, however, which is a standard surprise birthday gift here is the Prairie Fire. That's a shot of the cheapest tequila available with about a quarter teaspoon or so of Tabasco.

 

[rhuthwaite]

Yay I am not the only one who doesn't get hang overs! Finally someone who understands thanks Danger. Aww Screaming Orgasm are my favourite! We can buy them in little packs from the bottle store great for parties. I'll make sure I order those for friends I don't like haha can't wait!

 

[FrogPad]

cheapest tequila available with about a quarter teaspoon or so of Tabasco

Danger, that sounds so f'n nasty.

You were a bartender/bouncer? Nice. I bet you have some crazy stories. You'll have to tell me a few sometime.

Aight you guys, I got to get some sleep (Exam tomorrow) :(

night-

 

[JasonRox]

Ok, I met some really cool. I don't know what to do now.

 

[FrogPad]

Ok, I met some really cool. I don't know what to do now.

huh?

you met a new girl, and you are unsure what to do cause you have a girlfriend?

 

[JasonRox]

huh?

you met a new girl, and you are unsure what to do cause you have a girlfriend?

I'm confused because my girlfriend and I hit a rough patch, or let's just say that I wasn't happy. I told her my problem and why I wasn't happy. There was no excuse for it, but anyways because I love her, I want the relationship to work.

So, right now the relationship is moving slowly. Sometimes it feels as though I have to guide her in what to do, and I do NOT want that. Therefore, if she doesn't pick up, I have to let her go.

It's just that I meet so many really cool girls, and I'm just thinking that they seem like the type of girls I would want in a relationship. I say they seem like that because I don't know them very well, or atleast not yet anyways. I'm making good friends regardless.

Note: This doesn't change my attitude towards meeting people all the time. It's just that I'm in a shaky relationship right now, so it's like... if it doesn't get better, then I might as well be single, go on dates, and have fun.

 

[JasonRox]

My friend did 21 shots on his 21st... he was absolutly retarded. It's a bar that we usually go to. They made him carry around a bucket the entire night :)

He didn't use it... but there were a few times where I thought he was going to. We were asses to him also, I bought him all types of gross shots that night :)

New Zealand! That's cool. One of my really good friends moved out to Australlia about a year ago. She goes to Queensland.

What time is it over there?
It's 8:36... oh you prolly use a 24 hour clock. It's 20:36 here (oct 17).

My friends and I choose not to get retarded. We get drunk, but not retarded. We don't like the concept of getting that drunk.

 

[Danger]

Now that we've weeded out the weak-of-stomach, I'll tell you the grossest shooter that I've ever heard of. I just about gagged making the things. It's called an "Over the Shoulder Abortion". There's no mixing or layering, by the way; everything's just dumped into a 6 oz. rocks glass. The components are Tequila, Kahlua, cream, ketchup, Tobasco and a raw egg.

 

[turbo]

On my 40th birthday, 4 of my female cousins "kidnapped" me (with my wife's blessings) and took me bar-hopping. They each insisted on buying me a shot at every bar (thank god the town didn't have too many bars!). I felt safe with those cuties, so I just cut loose. Had a good evening (what I can remember of it) and a (rare) hangover the next day. Weeks later, guys that I saw in town were coming up to me and saying "I saw you last Saturday night - who were all those girls? Are any of them available?"

 

[Cyrus]

My friends and I choose not to get retarded. We get drunk, but not retarded. We don't like the concept of getting that drunk.

Smartest thing I've heard you say.

 

[JasonRox]

Smartest thing I've heard you say.

I'm a smart guy.

 

[rhuthwaite]

Pour me a drink guys its been a nerve grinding night! Just had a massive piano performance and I was so nervous that I missed a whole line in one of the pieces :( I am still shaking. At least I wore a nice outfit so hopefully people were too busy looking at my dress rather than listerning!

 

[physics girl phd]

Hey -- congrats on the piano! (You got through it, mistakes or none... and you looked good to boot.)

Here's a thought for you -- marry the man that BUYS you a piano... without your knowing and delivers it to your apartment. That's what I'm going to do!

 

[big man]

It's perfectly normal to crush on another person while dating a person. The problem arises when a person acts inappropriately to that feeling, and "cheats" on their partner. People admire people. Therefore, the reason for being socially active is because you can handle these feelings in a mature fashion through experience.

I don't know man, I'm not sure I agree with this. I mean there is absolutely nothing wrong with being friends with other females while you're in a relationship, but there is a huge difference between acting like friends and flirting with them. I'm sorry, but I just happen to think that flirting is kind of disrespectful and rude. Flirting is something you'd do if you were in a relationship that you weren't happy in. But if you truly loved someone you just wouldn't flirt with every other woman that came your way. I'd say it's perfectly natural for a girlfriend/boyfriend to be uncomfortable if their partner was flirting left, right and centre (not referring to you by the way ). What I'm trying to say is that I don't see it as a bad trait that they just have to deal with, because it is perfectly rational behaviour.

Not that it matters what view either of us takes because in the end I think that if you're in a relationship that really means a lot to you you will lose the ability to flirt, regardless of whether or not you thought it was OK before.

It's just that I meet so many really cool girls, and I'm just thinking that they seem like the type of girls I would want in a relationship. I say they seem like that because I don't know them very well, or atleast not yet anyways. I'm making good friends regardless.

This is kind of another reason why I don't agree with the "it's OK to flirt while in a relationship". I'm not taking a stab at you in any way, but I think that when you flirt during a relationship and you go through some rough patches, then you will start doubting your relationship for no reason, and in the end you might find that you lost a good thing.

This is just what I think based on what I've observed with my friends and from personal experience. In the end you do what works for you and makes you happy I guess.

 

[Evo]

Here's a thought for you -- marry the man that BUYS you a piano... without your knowing and delivers it to your apartment. That's what I'm going to do!

Darn, and I can't even get anyone to buy me a Teddy Ruxpin.

 

[JasonRox]

I don't know man, I'm not sure I agree with this. I mean there is absolutely nothing wrong with being friends with other females while you're in a relationship, but there is a huge difference between acting like friends and flirting with them. I'm sorry, but I just happen to think that flirting is kind of disrespectful and rude. Flirting is something you'd do if you were in a relationship that you weren't happy in. But if you truly loved someone you just wouldn't flirt with every other woman that came your way. I'd say it's perfectly natural for a girlfriend/boyfriend to be uncomfortable if their partner was flirting left, right and centre (not referring to you by the way ). What I'm trying to say is that I don't see it as a bad trait that they just have to deal with, because it is perfectly rational behaviour.

Not that it matters what view either of us takes because in the end I think that if you're in a relationship that really means a lot to you you will lose the ability to flirt, regardless of whether or not you thought it was OK before.



This is kind of another reason why I don't agree with the "it's OK to flirt while in a relationship". I'm not taking a stab at you in any way, but I think that when you flirt during a relationship and you go through some rough patches, then you will start doubting your relationship for no reason, and in the end you might find that you lost a good thing.

This is just what I think based on what I've observed with my friends and from personal experience. In the end you do what works for you and makes you happy I guess.

You make very good points, but I don't "flirt" basically. Just friendly behaviour. That's probably a better way to put it.

I guess you can say you will start doubting the relationship during a rough patch. At this point, I really want the relationship to work.

My problem is that we don't do anything as a couple anymore. We don't go out or do anything. I come up with plans all the time, but she keeps saying no. I got sick of it and told her that. We used to have a blast together, but then it just got boring. Like, why are we together? (I asked her that. It might sound rude, but it's the reality of the current relationship status.)

It also has to do with the fact that she barely puts any effort into the relationship, and among other things. There has been times where we could have been together, but for some retarded reason, we didn't. I got really upset about this.

Anyways, the reason why I made the comment about the cool girls is because I meet lots of girls who will be more than happy to do stuff with me. Just as friends too, since they know I'm seeing someone, as well as they know I want my relationship to work. Therefore, it's clear that I'm taken and that I'd like to stay that way. So, even with that, they want to hang out, which is nice. Because at the moment, my girlfriend never wants to do anything, and I mean that in the literal sense, so yeah if that doesn't change she's out. I do stuff with my guy friends too!

Note: The girls do not know this is why I'm upset (about doing nothing with my girlfriend) about the relationship. So, they aren't hanging out with me for extra points and to show that they are better than my girlfriend because they have no idea about the situation. I don't share that.

My girlfriend doesn't even enjoy driving to my house! Like, that was really annoying because I didn't have a car for like 6 months. Remember the scooter, . She kept pointing out how I took my car off the road as an excuse, which was utterly stupid because again people will drive over my house just to pick me up and bring me to school. I was also willing to take the bus and scooter to her house, but apparently that's stupid. She doesn't want to be seen with a guy who takes the bus to her girlfriends house!

I don't know. It just got darn annoying. I'm still unsure about the relationship. I told her the issues. Because like I said, we used to do stuff, and now we don't at all.

Anyways, I see her tonight, so we will see what happens.

 

[Evo]

I guess you can say you will start doubting the relationship during a rough patch. At this point, I really want the relationship to work.

Sounds like it's pretty much over. What are you hoping is going to revive it?

 

[JasonRox]

Sounds like it's pretty much over. What are you hoping is going to revive it?

I don't know.

All she had to do was something nice.

 

[Evo]

I don't know.

All she had to do was something nice.

I know what you mean.

{{{hugs Jason}}}

 

[rhuthwaite]

I am going to cry now too that is soo sad I feel for you. It might not be over... Relationships aren't always about the good times hanging through the tough ones shows that you really care. But not wanting to see you - that's tough! I hope it gets better

 

[rhuthwaite]

Here's a thought for you -- marry the man that BUYS you a piano... without your knowing and delivers it to your apartment. That's what I'm going to do!

Ahh that's a dream! I've been trying to find a man like... its proving to be impossible. Most of the guys I meet don't even like the piano (not one has ever even heard me play) never mind buy me a piano. I could be single for the rest of my life

 

[FrogPad]

Now that we've weeded out the weak-of-stomach, I'll tell you the grossest shooter that I've ever heard of. I just about gagged making the things. It's called an "Over the Shoulder Abortion". There's no mixing or layering, by the way; everything's just dumped into a 6 oz. rocks glass. The components are Tequila, Kahlua, cream, ketchup, Tobasco and a raw egg.

Is there a term stronger than ROFL, cause Oh My God! That is absolutely horrendous. Still friggen laughing here. The name is sooo fitting... but so gross. The ketchup is a beautiful touch. hahaha, laughing so hard that it hurts my back... lol

 

[FrogPad]

My friends and I choose not to get retarded. We get drunk, but not retarded. We don't like the concept of getting that drunk.

um... good for you.

 

[JasonRox]

I know what you mean.

{{{hugs Jason}}}

You're taken too!

Just kidding. Good luck with everything!

 

[rhuthwaite]

Is there a term stronger than ROFL, cause Oh My God! That is absolutely horrendous. Still friggen laughing here. The name is sooo fitting... but so gross. The ketchup is a beautiful touch. hahaha, laughing so hard that it hurts my back... lol

Have you actually tried it?! You mad man! I would be gagging just looking at it

 

[NoTime]

Have you actually tried it?! You mad man! I would be gagging just looking at it

It's got tequila in it. How bad could it be

 

[rhuthwaite]

Its got ketchup in it...

 

[Danger]

I'm wondering if it was supposed to be some sort of 'energy drink'. My friend who ordered it, along with her sister (and they drank 3 each) was at the time the world heavy-weight women's arm wrestling champion. Maybe she figured that she could get pissed and fit at the same time.

 

[big man]

You make very good points, but I don't "flirt" basically. Just friendly behaviour. That's probably a better way to put it.



My girlfriend doesn't even enjoy driving to my house! Like, that was really annoying because I didn't have a car for like 6 months. Remember the scooter, . She kept pointing out how I took my car off the road as an excuse, which was utterly stupid because again people will drive over my house just to pick me up and bring me to school. I was also willing to take the bus and scooter to her house, but apparently that's stupid. She doesn't want to be seen with a guy who takes the bus to her girlfriends house!

I don't know. It just got darn annoying. I'm still unsure about the relationship. I told her the issues. Because like I said, we used to do stuff, and now we don't at all.

Anyways, I see her tonight, so we will see what happens.

Yeah I kind of figured we had slightly different ideas of flirting. :)

Seriously man, that sucks! From the sounds of it she doesn't seem to be enthusiastic about the relationship anymore and it seems like doubting it is entirely normal. If it was me I'd be a little more pessimistic about it, but I'd see if I could resolve the problems like you're doing. All I can say is good luck with it!

 

[big man]

Ahh that's a dream! I've been trying to find a man like... its proving to be impossible. Most of the guys I meet don't even like the piano (not one has ever even heard me play) never mind buy me a piano. I could be single for the rest of my life

haha that's because from the sounds of it you drink them under the table whenever you go out. Someone playing the piano in the morning when you have a severe hangover?? Of course they don't like it

 

[Evo]

You're taken too!

Nope, still not taken. I'm going to give it a few more hours and if he doesn't cave, I'm giving up and going back under my rock. I'm never going to find anyone.