- #1
taurus3434
Hi everyone - I have been in a romantic relationship with a wonderful man for the past 8 months. Last night was the first time I was deeply hurt by something he said. I have friends from all walks of life, which include individuals who are transgender. My bf said he thinks being transgender is "ridiculous" and "not right." I do want to emphasize he did not say this with malice or hate in his tone. He is a gay/lesbian/bisexual ally which was why I was surprised. Of course this was around midnight when we were going to bed, but after those words I could not sleep.
I was so shocked and disappointed that I went to sit on the couch for a few minutes to cool down and think. He came out to see me and asked if I was okay and said he couldn't sleep either. I told him our conversation had unsettled and hurt me because I value my transgender friends because I feel they are misunderstood. I shared their personal stories with him and how coming out as trans was extremely difficult. He was a great listener and after said that he needed to re-evaluate what he thought because I made some good points. I reminded myself he is not a hateful bigot: just ignorant. He is open to learning and changing his view, which means so much to me. The majority of my friends who are trans live 6 hours away, but I think when he meets them he will see they aren't ridiculous, but people just like him and me.
All in all we ended in a good place and I am relieved that when we disagree on important things we are able to have a respectful conversation about it. Because goodness knows there will be times in the future when we disagree -it's only natural. I am curious, the first time you and your SO disagreed how did you navigate it?
Thanks for reading.
I was so shocked and disappointed that I went to sit on the couch for a few minutes to cool down and think. He came out to see me and asked if I was okay and said he couldn't sleep either. I told him our conversation had unsettled and hurt me because I value my transgender friends because I feel they are misunderstood. I shared their personal stories with him and how coming out as trans was extremely difficult. He was a great listener and after said that he needed to re-evaluate what he thought because I made some good points. I reminded myself he is not a hateful bigot: just ignorant. He is open to learning and changing his view, which means so much to me. The majority of my friends who are trans live 6 hours away, but I think when he meets them he will see they aren't ridiculous, but people just like him and me.
All in all we ended in a good place and I am relieved that when we disagree on important things we are able to have a respectful conversation about it. Because goodness knows there will be times in the future when we disagree -it's only natural. I am curious, the first time you and your SO disagreed how did you navigate it?
Thanks for reading.