Photons are the carriers of electromagnetic field but you have to consider the fact that when EM waves are observed on any macroscopic level, that wave is made of an incredibly large number of photons. What we observe is the averaging over of them in time and space. Particle-like carriers of the electromagnetic field were only first considered when quantum theory was first being developed, which is why any classical field theory or mainstream applications book either won't discuss them or they will be covered/considered in only a smaller portion of the discussion. So, if you were thinking on a particle-particle interaction level, EM waves are photons while if you were dealing with high energy waves, it's arguably a more intuitive convention to consider the EM waves as macroscopic fluctuations of the fields and not particles.
As for the magnets, the names were derived out of conventions mathematically and directionally. Consider the iron filings experiment with a bar magnet and a circular wire loop. If aligned properly, they will give the same pattern in the iron filings. Since the theory at the time this was originally considered said magnetic fields emerge from somewhere, loop away from the source, and return to close the loop and that the magnitude of the force was proportional to the current in the loop. The mathematics characterizing these effects were matched to the right-hand-rule convention in that the magnetic field circulates around a current in the counter-clockwise direction. Thus the magnetic field emerges from the center of the loop, curls around the loop, and back up through the middle. Simply, the 'north' pole of this arrangement was named for where the fields emerge and the 'south' pole is where they return. By the relationships between poles of magnetic sources at the time, the bars were thus given N and S pole names by how they interacted with the current loops.
The attraction principles can be noted simply by creating two identical magnets or current loops with definitive 'poles' and characterizing their interactions with each other. It's interesting to note that the Earth's field is a dipole that changes in time. For the last many thousands of years up to now, the magnetic N pole is located at the geographic south pole.