I usually don't meddle in this kind of "help with girl stuff", as the advices I give are usually so radical, no one in his right mind would listen to them. But I'm bored right now, and I think I got a few good points for everyone to learn from this time, so bear with me.
saltydog said:
You're too young for her. Just let it go, be friends with her and move on.
I respect you a lot saltydog, but I've GOT to react to this and can't do it any other way but by saying: This is pure crap.
Never let any such lies get to you. Whenever thoughts like "She's too glamorous/beautiful/whatever for me", "I'm not <such and such> enough", use all your might to ignore it. Actually, for your own sake, you got to be at a point where you simply don't have these thoughts crossing your mind. Personally, I'm ugly as golly. When I think using that part of my brain that I do math with, I have to come to the conclusion that I am less than average looking. But at any time of the day, and most importantly, in all of my interactions with women, I strongly have the belief that I'm a sexy biatch. And it just shows, and that's how people will see me after I have interacted with them long enough that my beliefs have naturally imposed over their first impression.
Let's see some exemples, taken from the last 2 or 3 days, of how I let my beliefs transpire.
1. I arrive at work (I work in a Subway restaurant) and I change in the back of the restaurant because the bathroom is too freaking small. So as I arrive, I tell the girls "I'm going to change now so you'll have to keep your hormones in shack for 5 minutes. Think you can do that?"
2. Later, a coworker says to me: "Sherley wanted me to deliver a message to you... she said that..." And then I interrupt " ...I'm hot & sexy?" Her: <giggle> No she didn't mention anything about that topic.
3. Today, a client (women) orders a sub and I ask her what cheese she wants; I say, "do you want cheddar or that cute cheese over there?, pointing at the montery jack" She giggles and nods, then add, "It's cute as hell" (she didn't actually said that because we're speaking french, but she used an equivalent but more appropriate expression), to which I replied "Cute as me? Well thank you." This is when her eyes began to glow.
A few other short comments (opinions, really) on the advices that have been given prior to saltydog's.
astronuc said:
Right. I'd go even farther by saying you got to establish the relationship as being her chasing you, and you busting on her for crowding you.
astronuc said:
Perhaps send her flowers (or whatever is equivalent local custom) at some point.
That's just creepy. Unless by 'at some point', you meant 'in a year'.
stoned said:
how much cash do you have ? getting beautyful chick goes propotionally with money you have.
This belief falls into the same category as "You're too young for her." Women like cash, but they don't feel gut-level attraction for men who have it. They feel that attraction for men who are men.
Clausius2 said:
My strategy would be: try to be the most handsome and kindest man on Earth each time you meet her, no matter how much short is the meeting.
Being courteous and gentlemenly sure is a plus, but don't overdo it. The bottom line is, don't do this stuff to please her. You just do it because you're a gentelement; that's who you are, and that's what you do in life. As soon as you cross this line, you're just licking her ass, and there's nothing, and I mean nothing, more repulsive as this kind of behavior. You probably at some point in your life (probably childhood) had someone following you around all the time trying to please you and seeking your approval for every little thing. Recall how much you unexplicably despised that person for no obvious reason?
Clausius2 said:
She must sight the difference between you, that fantastic guy who talks with her for a short time, and those stupids who are always behind her. She must feel your absence as something negative. And she must see you as something which can be achieved with a bit of difficulty (not too difficult). If you begin to show her your love with flowers and this sort of things, she will be sighting your secret, and there will be no game further.
Clausius, you spanish pimp, you! This is gold.
Clausius2 said:
Listen to her and her problems, no matter how stupid and simple they are
The force is strong with you young pimp... but you're not a jedi-pimp yet! This is contradictory to your previous ideas. How are you going to come across as "that fantastic guy who talks with her for a short time" if you're to sit and smile as she endlessly babbles about her pathetic problems. No! You want to come across as the guy that is FUN. You have to communicate that when you are together, you enjoy the present time; you're not one of her gal-friend so don't act like one. And you're not her personnal physchiatrist. If she starts talking about her crap, stop her right there and say "If you're going to tell me about your problems, I must warn you right away, I charge 150$ per hour." She laughs, you change the subject imidiately. She'll get the message. If not, there's not harm in straight out telling her to her face that hearing about all the drama in her life is not your kink.
arildno said:
it wouldn't be inappropriate to pay her compliments as well, by steering your conversation in such a manner that such compliments can be inserted naturally, rather than blurted out.
This is one place where stoned "proportionality theory" does apply: turning really beautiful chicks off goes proportionally with the amount of compliment you give them. Haven't you ever noticed the instant "eww" that goes through their faces as you compliment them? On the contrary, and most counter-intuitively, watch their stone-faces light up as you casually bust on them or make fun of them (in a flirty way). I do am being a little too harsh here though. The compliment is an 'OK' way to open a conversation, and especially if followed by making fun of her (in a flirty way). But let not the subject of the compliment be herself personally. For exemples, no-no's are
1. You have such gogeous hair.
2. God your eyes are stunning.
3. You're very pretty today.
But these are fine:
1. Hey, nice boots. What are you without those, 4'3? (lol)
2. Damn, you're tanned girl! You should be ready to eat soon. (I did that to a girl I'm very aquainted with while lustilly staring at her and kneading her arm as if to see how much more cooking she needed. It was illarious, I couldn't contain myself. And still can't right now hahah
)
3. Cool top, where'd you get that?
Clausius2 said:
I wouldn't advise that. I'd say take it as lightly as possible, really not caring about the outcome of any of your encounters, make no strategy, and analyse nothing. There's a time for math, and there's a time for mating. And they don't go together. As a rule of thumb, recognize that every logical thoughts you might have about her must be erroneous. exemple: "Well she didn't react well to that, so she mustn't have like what I did." This kind of thinking is not allowed. It screws your game up, and particularily badly if you do this kind of rationalizing in the middle of interacting with her. She'll see it in your face immidiately that you are not confortable with what just hapened and will see you as 'not the man' for it. On the other hand, if you're congruent with whatever happens, this is the fact that she will notice, and not that joke that didn't work or whatever. The best way to be congruent is simply to think of nothing; analyse nothing. Zen.
Ok, enough. This post has grown much bigger than I expected. If I continue leaking out my secrets you're all going to become as cool as me.
. We have to seem interested on what she says (no matter she is saying something very dumb!). We have to listen no matter she is stupid!.
)
