Is Asking a Woman Out Only for the Bold?

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The discussion revolves around tips for someone inexperienced in asking women out, with various perspectives shared on the topic. Key points include the importance of reading signals from women, such as smiles or eye contact, to gauge interest. Participants emphasize that if a woman shows no signs of attraction, it's best to move on. There is a consensus that asking someone out should be straightforward, often starting with a simple greeting and casual conversation. The idea of "playing games" in dating is criticized, suggesting that being direct is more effective. Participants also highlight the importance of confidence and being oneself, rather than overthinking interactions. The conversation touches on the challenges of navigating dating dynamics, particularly for those who may feel insecure or inexperienced. Overall, the thread underscores the need for authenticity and the understanding that not every attempt will lead to success, encouraging a light-hearted approach to dating.
  • #31
lisab said:
That's klassy.

I know.

Everyone has said that you should ask her to coffee or breakfast or something. But if she is interested then she might have something in mind. Leave the question opened ended in some sense like say "Would you like to go to coffee or something sometime?". Phrase it however suits you.

Question. Are there things not to say or talk about when meeting a women? whether it be the first inauguration or first meeting for coffee(or something)? Personally I wouldn't say that I go to the gym 5 times a week and I never mention that I study Engineering and Mathematics (at first). I just say Engineering.

Something that eurks me though is they always ask me where I come from.
 
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  • #32
whitay said:
Question. Are there things not to say or talk about when meeting a women? whether it be the first inauguration or first meeting for coffee(or something)? Personally I wouldn't say that I go to the gym 5 times a week and I never mention that I study Engineering and Mathematics (at first). I just say Engineering.

Why not?

Don't ask her what her bra size is. Unless you're THE MAN.
 
  • #33
whitay said:
I know.

Everyone has said that you should ask her to coffee or breakfast or something. But if she is interested then she might have something in mind. Leave the question opened ended in some sense like say "Would you like to go to coffee or something sometime?". Phrase it however suits you.

Question. Are there things not to say or talk about when meeting a women? whether it be the first inauguration or first meeting for coffee(or something)? Personally I wouldn't say that I go to the gym 5 times a week and I never mention that I study Engineering and Mathematics (at first). I just say Engineering.

Something that eurks me though is they always ask me where I come from.

As far as things not to say...well, you just have to play it by ear. Something that strikes one girl as clever and witty might strike another as too smart @ss. But don't let that stop you...if a girl is offended by you being yourself, well, it wouldn't have worked out anyway, right?

And I'd extend that to telling girls you're studying engineering and math. Believe me, I know this from experience. Once upon a time, I was a young woman studying physics. Often I'd meet guys in a club or party or whatever...they would ask, and I would proudly tell them I was studying physics. Easily 90% would shrink away, or start apologizing for their bad math grades. But some wouldn't - those were the guys worth meeting.

So why are you bothered by being asked where you're from?
 
  • #34
Just be yourself and talk to them. If they don't like you for it, then they aren't for you.

The world is 70% water and 50% p**sY. Plenty to work with.
 
  • #35
Pengwuino said:
Why not?

Don't ask her what her bra size is. Unless you're THE MAN.

Cause the response always is "You must be smart!" but I tend not to agree.
 
  • #36
whitay said:
Cause the response always is "You must be smart!" but I tend not to agree.
I used to get that response when I mentioned studying nuclear and astrophysics, then later nuclear engineering. My response was - "No, not really. Just very curious."

I prefer honesty. Like lisab indicated, if the other is serious about relationships, then the fact that one is studying physics, or the fact that one is intelligent should not be a problem.
 
  • #37
lisab said:
As far as things not to say...well, you just have to play it by ear. Something that strikes one girl as clever and witty might strike another as too smart @ss. But don't let that stop you...if a girl is offended by you being yourself, well, it wouldn't have worked out anyway, right?

And I'd extend that to telling girls you're studying engineering and math. Believe me, I know this from experience. Once upon a time, I was a young woman studying physics. Often I'd meet guys in a club or party or whatever...they would ask, and I would proudly tell them I was studying physics. Easily 90% would shrink away, or start apologizing for their bad math grades. But some wouldn't - those were the guys worth meeting.

So why are you bothered by being asked where you're from?

I don't think they would be offended but more detered. But it all really comes down to insecurities from both parties. For instance someone may be detered simply because they are insecure about how intelligent they actually are.

I'm Australian however due to a lengthy year away I developed an american accent which is persistent on staying. I also blatantly refuse to use colloquial language.

Edit: I also don't play rugby. Never have. Never will. Therefore in Australian one must come from another planet.
 
  • #38
I had thought the 'ay' at the end of your username might be making use of a northern colloquialism.
I must have been wrong.
 
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  • #39
fuzzyfelt said:
I had thought the 'ay' at the end of your username was using a north Qld colloquiallism.
I must have been wrong.

Ok! Now I'm scared. I don't think labeling people based on their user names is wise. I wouldn't take 'Evo' and say 'Humm! Evolution. Evo must be an Evolutionist. Humm! Astronuc. Maybe he can't spell Astronaut'.

You might be able to explain the 'ay!' but how do you explain the 'whit'?

Unfortunately there was no thought put into this name. I don't think. Can't remember. It just sounded cool at the time.

That is kind of well. I don't know how to respond. But I don't live in North Queensland.

Why not say that the whole of Australia say 'Aye!'? Unfortunately regions within Australia cannot be defined by colloquial language. Well as far as I am aware. People in the north sound the same as those in the south.

Canadians also say 'Aye!'.

Astronuc said:
I used to get that response when I mentioned studying nuclear and astrophysics, then later nuclear engineering. My response was - "No, not really. Just very curious."

I prefer honesty. Like lisab indicated, if the other is serious about relationships, then the fact that one is studying physics, or the fact that one is intelligent should not be a problem.

Never said it was a problem. Possibly more or less the age group we are dealing with in some instances.
 
  • #40
Sorry if that was scary. I just tend to remember Australians here, being one, and am fond of the northern accent, which does tend to end sentences with 'ay', which as you say, can also occur in Canada. Because it sounds more like home, I like it better than the questioning rise at the end of the sentence that other Australian accents can be prone to. I think it is often possible to tell from which region a person comes from there. Incidentally, I have lived away for a long time and have lost much of my accent too. And I don't really read much into usernames, but do try to appreciate the cleverer ones. Edit: On second thoughts, I don't really remember Australians here that much, but had mistakenly thought your username was intentionally amusing.
 
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  • #41
whitay said:
I don't think they would be offended but more detered. But it all really comes down to insecurities from both parties. For instance someone may be detered simply because they are insecure about how intelligent they actually are.

I'm Australian however due to a lengthy year away I developed an american accent which is persistent on staying. I also blatantly refuse to use colloquial language.

Edit: I also don't play rugby. Never have. Never will. Therefore in Australian one must come from another planet.

Couldn't you just lie and tell people you're from New Zealand?
 
  • #42
whitay said:
I don't think they would be offended but more detered. But it all really comes down to insecurities from both parties. For instance someone may be detered simply because they are insecure about how intelligent they actually are.

I'm Australian however due to a lengthy year away I developed an american accent which is persistent on staying. I also blatantly refuse to use colloquial language.

Edit: I also don't play rugby. Never have. Never will. Therefore in Australian one must come from another planet.
Hmmm - I was a fan of VFL, but not into rugby. I also enjoyed soccer. I didn't play cricket or tennis, which were two popular sports growing up in Melbourne. I also preferred not to use colloquial language.

I've lived in the US since '66 and people were often curious about my accent, which was more like a London accent than Australian. Some Americans thought I was from New England or England, rather than Australia - and some even asked me to 'speak in Australian'. I didn't understand their expectations.

Astronuc is short of Astronuclear - which was the area of my research in grad school.
 
  • #43
As to the original question...

Isn't there a help desk you can call?

Try this one: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=366756169934472530
 
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  • #44
whitay said:
I never mention that I study Engineering and Mathematics (at first). I just say Engineering.

What?! Women dig mathematicians!
 
  • #45
I don't understand these recurring threads. You approach women the same way you approach anybody else, and if there is chemistry things will develop naturally. If you try to make this thing into an exact science and calculate your every move and try to outmaneuver women, you will fail. Women understand this stuff on so many more ways and levels than men that you stand no chance.
 
  • #46
Werg22 said:
I don't understand these recurring threads. You approach women the same way you approach anybody else, and if there is chemistry things will develop naturally. If you try to make this thing into an exact science and calculate your every move and try to outmaneuver women, you will fail. Women understand this stuff on so many more ways and levels than men that you stand no chance.

I own over 20 slide rules, 2 abacuses, and a TI-86. One of these has to work!
 
  • #47
BobG said:
I own over 20 slide rules, 2 abacuses, and a TI-86. One of these has to work!

women are too complicated.

woman-vs-man-buttons.jpg
 
  • #48
Werg22 said:
I don't understand these recurring threads.

Yes, I propose we sticky a "dating thread."
 
  • #49
Pinu7 said:
I don't understand these recurring threads.

They reoccur because nerdy guys think that women are a different animal species entirely and not, you know, normal people who you can use common sense to communicate with.
 
  • #50
MissSilvy said:
They reoccur because nerdy guys think that women are a different animal species entirely and not, you know, normal people who you can use common sense to communicate with.

You can? :bugeye:
 
  • #51
I haven't asked out a girl in years. I guess I just don't care or take risks? Meh.
 
  • #52
Werg22 said:
I don't understand these recurring threads.
I thought this topic was covered in a PF FAQ thread.

Supplemental question - "How to get a guy started (without him knowing about the intervention)?"
 
  • #53
Pinu7 said:
Yes, I propose we sticky a "dating thread."

Or add a dating forum for nerds.

Or maybe just some links to dating forums for nerds: Top 10 Dating Sites for Nerds

I'm not quite sure why being a Star Trek fan, a comic book collector, anime fan, world of warcraft gamer, etc is considered the equivalent of being a nerd, though.
 
  • #54
BobG said:
Or add a dating forum for nerds.

Or maybe just some links to dating forums for nerds: Top 10 Dating Sites for Nerds

I'm not quite sure why being a Star Trek fan, a comic book collector, anime fan, world of warcraft gamer, etc is considered the equivalent of being a nerd, though.

Ooh! There are some cuties on that Trekkie dating site:

http://www.trekpassions.com/events/Star+Trek+Conventions.html

Maybe I will try dating Klingons. :smile:
 
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  • #55
Math Is Hard said:
Ooh! There are some cuties on that Trekkie dating site:

http://www.trekpassions.com/events/Star+Trek+Conventions.html

Maybe I will try dating Klingons. :smile:
jIH rur lIj Quch ghu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzhhXZ5kp7A
http://www.mrklingon.org/"
 
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  • #56
i once knew a guy that dressed up as a klingon and was a member of some klingon group. to say he was not sciency is an understatement. i couldn't even get him to understand how the fractions on a tape measure work. you could say he had a strong artistic slant, though.
 
  • #57
Wow, another dating thread. Us girls are normal too...I think it's funny how guys are, like, scared to talk to us. We can do the same thing you all do, too. :wink: Just, some of us with a little more style :biggrin:
 
  • #58
You might be a nerd if...
you've ever started a thread on PF about how to ask a girl/woman on a date.

You REALLY might be a nerd if...
you've reached the age of majority before you started that thread.
 
  • #59
Heh, very very true. Guys underestimate how much far confidence goes. I took a hint from PF (I forgot which user posted it, I think it was in another thread) and asked a cute boy in my calculus class "So where are you taking me Friday night?" Bing! And I scored a date and a lovely Friday evening. If he had said "Ewr, no!" then the proper response would be to laugh and say "Your loss ;)"

Simple stuff, guys!
 
  • #60
FireSky86 said:
I haven't asked out a girl in years. I guess I just don't care or take risks? Meh.

Me either. My wife would kill me in my sleep if she found out.
 

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