Is it possible to grow up to be a popular person?

[zoobyshoe]

I disagree.

I think it's wisdom and intelligence. But you need to be extroverted and willing to share your experiences. Also, do it in a friendly way.

For example, at my work, we have high school kids looking for alcohol and I'm old enough to buy it for them. Although everyone else does it, I never do it for them. They never looked at me as uncool because I didn't. They see that doing the right thing isn't so hard after all, but obviously they still go out and drink. They enjoy some of things I have to say like don't do so-and-so because it disrespects people and whatever. Yes, they listen from time and time again. Yet, teachers themselves can't get these people to stop. They think I'm cool because I guess I know what to say and I'll say the most ****ed up **** they've ever heard. But I'm literally true to myself.

I remember one time at a party they were making fun of a religious person. Although I'm not a religion fan myself, I stood up for the guy and told everyone that it wasn't cool and it was rude. They stopped.

If you show high value, people will never forget you. I was popular in high school even though I was shy, but that could also be because I did funny things (school plays), and I was big. Of course it was a small school, but everyone knew me and I have no idea who they are. They'll add me to facebook although I don't like that because I've never talked to them before and I can't tell who they are.

The bottom line is be true to yourself no matter what. The "cool" people that are not true to themselves aren't "cool" for very long.

Refusing to buy booze and stopping the people from making fun of the religious guy doesn't demonstrate wisdom and intelligence as you think, but power and authority. That, in combination with extroversion, humor, and friendliness is the reason for any popularity you may enjoy. Giving an authoritative lecture on the superiority of Macs over PC's is just as effective as a lecture on the evils of liquor and taking over and stopping people from playing one kind of music at a party instead of another is just as effective as stopping people making fun of the religious guy. People tend to gravitate toward anyone who seems to be able to assume control of a group. The particular values that person demonstrates are immaterial. If you are normally shy, as you claim, then these unexpected, spontaneous assumptions of control are what impress people, not the values that prompt you to perform them.

 

[En_lizard]

The reasons for popularity change dramatically from middle school up through adulthood. In middle school, being physically attractive is usually enough; being physically attractive and funny is almost a guarantee.

As you get older, people start realizing that stability, intellect, accomplishment, and kindness are much more valuable traits. In my experience, the most popular adults are those who are genuine, interesting, and go out of their way to take care of the people around them. I don't mean they play Mother Hen -- they just always notice when someone needs a kind word, and say it.

- Warren

mother hen?

 

[En_lizard]

I disagree.

I think it's wisdom and intelligence. But you need to be extroverted and willing to share your experiences. Also, do it in a friendly way.



The bottom line is be true to yourself no matter what. The "cool" people that are not true to themselves aren't "cool" for very long.

i always asked myself why actresses and models like britnye are so popular, now youve explain that for me

 

[Astronuc]

I picked other for much the same reason as Cyrus didn't pick a particular characteristic.

Certainly charisma is a factor, and that is something of a measure of the way someone connects with others.

I believe one can find someone popular for anyone of the attributes listed, or a combination thereof.


wealth - Donald Trump (personally I can't stand the guy), Michael Bloomberg
attractiveness - many or most movie stars and athlete's
authority and power - US president, or mayor (e.g. Giuliani), or governor
attitude - I'm not sure I know someone who is popular simply based on attitude, although I've heard of a 'winning attitude', which may be a characteristic
knowledge and education - certainly Einstein and other award winning scientists
wisdom and intelligence - Dalai Lama, and various other spiritual leaders perhaps
sense of humor - any number of comedians, e.g. Jon Stewart of the Daily Show

I don't believe is an attribute with which one is born.

One could add success - e.g. winners of contests, e.g. NASCAR or Indy car races. Look at Tiger Woods, and other athletes. Certainly success at lucrative sports contests enables accumulation of wealth, and authority and power.

As you get older, people start realizing that stability, intellect, accomplishment, and kindness are much more valuable traits. In my experience, the most popular adults are those who are genuine, interesting, and go out of their way to take care of the people around them.

Excellent observation and point. I think Mentor, rather than mother hen, is the appropriate descriptor.

What matters in the end are people and relationships.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

mother hen?

Generally used to describe someone who is perhaps overbearing in their attempts to look after others. A hen with its chicks may remind one of a mother obsessively doting on its children.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

I picked other for much the same reason as Cyrus didn't pick a particular characteristic.

Certainly charisma is a factor, and that is something of a measure of the way someone connects with others.

I believe one can find someone popular for anyone of the attributes listed, or a combination thereof.


wealth - Donald Trump (personally I can't stand the guy), Michael Bloomberg
attractiveness - many or most movie stars and athlete's
authority and power - US president, or mayor (e.g. Giuliani), or governor
attitude - I'm not sure I know someone who is popular simply based on attitude, although I've heard of a 'winning attitude', which may be a characteristic
knowledge and education - certainly Einstein and other award winning scientists
wisdom and intelligence - Dalai Lama, and various other spiritual leaders perhaps
sense of humor - any number of comedians, e.g. Jon Stewart of the Daily Show

I don't believe is an attribute with which one is born.

One could add success - e.g. winners of contests, e.g. NASCAR or Indy car races. Look at Tiger Woods, and other athletes. Certainly success at lucrative sports contests enables accumulation of wealth, and authority and power.

I don't know.

People with power and authority aren't exactly always popular or even respected. And I think there is a line between popularity and respect. Respect being what I see drawing from power and authrity more often. Even that can be only respect out of fear or somethign similar.

There are plenty of people who are wise and/or intelligent but who garner little popularity or respect, just look at your average "geek". Same with knowledge and education.

People who are physically attractive can easily find themselves drawing regard for things that have little to do with their self. Same with the wealthy. Perhaps a line needs to be drawn based on the motivations of the people who gather about them? Do these people see opportunity in being in this persons presence? Or their mere presence an opportunity?... not sure if that makes sense. :-\

It seems to me that there needs to be something else. Something that brings these attributes together and makes them more socially useful. Or that can stand alone. Attitude, confidence, charisma, or how ever else you want to label it. It's something difficult to define.

 

[Astronuc]

My personal view is that popularity is over-rated. It is not important or significant to be popular. Just be a decent and kind person.

I think too many people of notoriety or infamy who are too full of themselves.

I personally would rather be with people who aren't popular, but who are kind, decent, genuine persons.

 

[zoobyshoe]

I don't know.

People with power and authority aren't exactly always popular or even respected. And I think there is a line between popularity and respect. Respect being what I see drawing from power and authrity more often. Even that can be only respect out of fear or somethign similar.

There are plenty of people who are wise and/or intelligent but who garner little popularity or respect, just look at your average "geek". Same with knowledge and education.

People who are physically attractive can easily find themselves drawing regard for things that have little to do with their self. Same with the wealthy. Perhaps a line needs to be drawn based on the motivations of the people who gather about them? Do these people see opportunity in being in this persons presence? Or their mere presence an opportunity?... not sure if that makes sense. :-\

It seems to me that there needs to be something else. Something that brings these attributes together and makes them more socially useful. Or that can stand alone. Attitude, confidence, charisma, or how ever else you want to label it. It's something difficult to define.

I think you're trying to isolate a sort of true, pure form of popularity. The most popular, well liked guy I know here, gave me a hint once : tell people what they want to hear. In other words, he was a kind of cheerful, well tempered sociopath (think: Jack Nicholson in 'The Witches of Eastwick). Most people whose popularity is based on personal charisma choose to be charming as the most successful way to manipulate people. They actually don't give a damn about anyone.

 

[JasonRox]

If you are normally shy, as you claim, then these unexpected, spontaneous assumptions of control are what impress people, not the values that prompt you to perform them.

I'm no longer shy.

I share my wisdom with others.

I've had people talk to me about rape, pregnancy, cheating, steroids, anxiety, depression and the list goes on and on. Those are just bigger topics. They seem to enjoy how I make my decisions and/or my advice because they're not based fully on emotions and I won't judge them.

 

[JasonRox]

My personal view is that popularity is over-rated. It is not important or significant to be popular. Just be a decent and kind person.

I think too many people of notoriety or infamy who are too full of themselves.

I personally would rather be with people who aren't popular, but who are kind, decent, genuine persons.

You can be kind, decent, and genuine, but also popular.

Yes, it is overrated. But anyone with good character will become popular because people are going to want to associate themselves with you.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

My personal view is that popularity is over-rated. It is not important or significant to be popular. Just be a decent and kind person.

I think too many people of notoriety or infamy who are too full of themselves.

I personally would rather be with people who aren't popular, but who are kind, decent, genuine persons.

I certainly agree. I've never been one for the lime light. It's just an interesting sociological behavior to dissect. Lol.. that statement in itself probably illustrates my preference to observe rather than be observed.

I think you're trying to isolate a sort of true, pure form of popularity. The most popular, well liked guy I know here, gave me a hint once : tell people what they want to hear. In other words, he was a kind of cheerful, well tempered sociopath (think: Jack Nicholson in 'The Witches of Eastwick). Most people whose popularity is based on personal charisma choose to be charming as the most successful way to manipulate people. They actually don't give a damn about anyone.

I agree. I think our definitions are rather congruent. Those last two lines are probably what make me want to weed out wealth and physical attractiveness. Such people can easily be prey gathering predators rather than predators gathering prey. Not that I think of popularity quite in those terms but it's one aspect of it at least.

 

[En_lizard]

astronuc cyruc i think you missed the main point of the topic. if i just wanted you to mention the reasons of popularity id allow multiple choices. i didnt do that because i wanted you to mention the toppest reason for being popular.
smurf is right i should have added social skills to that but as for charisma it was in mind when posting the thread but i though its something you are born with is close in meaning with charisma.another reason for being popular is listening to people carefully and try to understand them

 

[Astronuc]

You can be kind, decent, and genuine, but also popular.

True. I was thinking more along the lines that I prefer to associate with people who have good character, as one mentioned, as opposed to someone who is popular, but not necessarily of good character.

Popularity is not an attribute or characteristic I consider when getting to know someone.


Another thought I had - popularity is largely subjective. In a large population, the population of anyone person is likely based upon others' perceptions, and not on some deep knowledge of one. Granted though, a person could be popular because of his or her good character and good deeds.

astronuc cyruc i think you missed the main point of the topic.

En_lizard, I think different people can be popular for different reasons. I don't believe that there is a single factor in all cases, and in some cases, it could be a combination of the factors listed.