Throughout my undergrad career I relied on help from others, the internet, and the teachers allowing us to use equation sheets during examinations. I received all A's in my upper level physics classes, and B's in the introduction classes (which I used Yahoo answers for almost every homework problem, and figured out how to actually do the problems only a week before the exam). This was an approach I used for my upper level courses too. I hardly read any of the text books. I found the solutions to the problems, and then studied how to do those problems, memorized equations, and learned the bare minimum for the tests. I feel I cheated myself. I'm still doing this in graduate school. Most of my peers also follow this behavior, obviously a bit less in graduate school (or at least they are not as public about it). I would commit more time to it, but I don't believe physics is my entire life. I know there is the argument that if I'm going to graduate school than it should be what I am passionate about, what I do in my free time.. but I find so much beauty in everything it is hard to devote ALL of my time to studying it. I like being active, socializing, taking care of myself spiritually, emotionally, physically. Many of those I see in the physics department seem to be lacking in this, in one category or another. I get it. To be truly AMAZING at something you must devote and obsess over it. I can't bring myself to do this. Am I not cut out for physics? What do I make of this? Sincerely, Confused.