Is Sex Essential for Love Between Men and Women?

[DanP]

Some wisdom my wife (who can separate sex from love) gave me:

"You can't analyze an emotion."

And pooof, she just erased the field of psychology and parts of neurobiology from the face of the earth.

It doesn't ruin the rainbow to know the physics behind it :P Same way, attraction and love won't be ruined for me even if I know for sure it;s just a increase of some neuropeptide in some regions of my brain.

You feel the way you feel. You can think about it, but don't try to apply logic to your feelings. Just go with them. The answer to your swinging quandary is right there. All you have to do is allow the feeling to surface. If you don't want to do it, don't do it. Don't logic yourself into something you're not comfortable with.

Never go with your feelings. This is the worst advice you can give anyone. Analyze with your logic, else you may find that youll go in some deep troubles sooner or later. Use your head.

 

[DaveC426913]

Actually, this is why we invented Viagra :P then again, I must point out to you that inability to perform doesn't necessarily mean lack of sexual desire, hence passion.

The invention and approval of a drug does not force people into types of love.

Your argument is tantamount to "if you choose not to take a pill then you obviously do not really 'love' your spouse."

Your example is flawed, Dave.

It is not flawed, but you are entitled to have a different opinion.

You cannot define for a couple that they musttake Viagra because they still have passion.

Even if they can do sex and decide not to have sex anymore, therefore stripping passion of their lives, the type of social relation they are involved in changes. It's called "companionate love", pretty different by a consummat love, and which is basically nothing more than two old friends commited to stay together till one goes into the cold Earth :P

Do you have references for these definitions of love as distinct from love? Or are these just your own opinions on the matter?

 

[DanP]

I
Do you have references for these definitions of love as distinct from love? Or are these just your own opinions on the matter?

You may want to look into Robert Sternberg's triangular theory of love.

 

[DaveC426913]

Since 'true" love requires besides physical passion commitment to each other and intimacy.

Again, with the "true love" nonsense.

Please define this term as distinct from "love" or stop using it.

 

[DanP]

Again, with the "true love" nonsense.

Please define this term as distinct from "love" or stop using it.

You have been pointed to the relevant material. Read it, it contains the taxonomy of love. It;s Sternberg ( a psych with Oklahoma state uni) work. A simple Google search will doit.

Consummate love, as its referred by many psychologists and "true love" popularely, consists of passion (as leading to sexual desire), intimacy and commitment. I already wrote this in this thread, but it seems you failed to took notice and continued the non-sense , speaking as generally as one can.

 

[DaveC426913]

You have been pointed to the relevant material. Read the material regarding taxonomy of love. It;s Sternberg ( a psych with Oklahoma state uni) work.

No I have not.

It is your claim, the onus is on you to provide the references.

Please ensure your reference includes a definition of "true love", which is what I have requested you stop using without a definition.

 

[DanP]

No I have not.

It is your claim, the onus is on you to provide the references.

Please ensure your reference includes a definition of "true love", which is what I have requested you stop using without a definition.

Go and Google Sternberg's work. It has been explicitly pointed to you time and again. If you refuse , its your problem. But it doesn't hurt one to educate himself.

 

[DaveC426913]

Go and Google Sternberg's work. It has been explicitly pointed to you time and again.

Simple name-dropping is not providing a reference. There is no reference to this term "true love" in his works. You are called out as inventing unsubstantiated terms.

 

[DanP]

Simple name-dropping is not providing a reference. There is no reference to this term "true love" in his works. You are called out as inventing unsubstantiated terms.

Its a ppular term used for consummate love. Have you ever heard it in your life on streets ? Maybe you or someone should write a PhD on the subject of how ppl on streets call this ?

 

[DaveC426913]

Its a ppular term used for consummate love. Have you ever heard it in your life on streets ? Maybe you or someone should write a PhD on the subject of how ppl on streets call this ?

Seconds ago, you were criticizing me for not Googling Sternberg - the reference you "explicitly pointed me to time and again". Now I've called you out on that, you're trying to criticize me because you're claiming it's a colloquialism.

You are now resorting to sarcastic slurs instead of simply explaining your use of the term. These are ad hominems, the last resort of someone who's lost an argument.

"True love" is a term with no definition. All I requested is that you stop using it.

 

[DanP]

Seconds ago, you were criticizing me for not Googling Sternberg - the reference you "explicitly pointed me to time and again". Now I've called you out on that, you're trying to criticize me because you're claiming it's a colloquialism.

No, you was asking

Do you have references for these definitions of love as distinct from love? Or are these just your own opinions on the matter?

And an answer was given to you. The name of the theory, and its creator.

You are now resorting to sarcastic slurs instead of simply explaining your use of the term. These are ad hominems, the last resort of someone who's lost an argument.

It was explained in post 11, but it escaped you. It was also the post in which I mentioned first time Sternberg.

Companionate love: commitment, NO PASSION, intimacy

"True" love is called consumate love in his taxonomy , and pretty much requires all 3 components, passion , intimacy and commitment.

"True love" is a term with no definition. All I requested is that you stop using it.

It was defined for you. It's a folk term, and post 11 equates it to consummate love. Post 11 also gives an answer what intimacy and commitment without passion is. All you had to do to see what I mean with that term is to read carefully all posts in the thread.

 

[Evo]

End of thread.