Is There a Double Standard in Dating Expectations for Men and Women?

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The discussion highlights the perceived imbalance in relationship expectations between men and women, with men feeling pressured to perform various romantic gestures and achieve financial stability to attract partners, yet often finding that these efforts do not guarantee sexual intimacy. Women, on the other hand, are described as having more straightforward desires, leading to frustration among men who feel their efforts are unreciprocated. Some participants argue that traditional dating norms are outdated and suggest that both genders should contribute equally to relationships. The conversation also touches on the emotional toll of these expectations, with some expressing jadedness about the dating landscape. Ultimately, the thread reflects a complex interplay of gender roles and relationship dynamics in modern dating.
  • #201
DaveC426913 said:
Funny how time can change things. I remember when you first joined, one of the first posts I read from you, you were saying you reeeeeally wanted to find a girl who would appreciate you and you were looking for advice and we were trynig to assure you that the right girl would come along if you were patient. IIRC, you were just barely sixteen or so.

Ah the memories. Brings a tear to my eye.

o:)

I went looking for that post, but I don't think it comes up in a search anymore.

You can't find it because I never posted anything like that. :P

I remember posting about how great my girl was. I really liked her take charge attitude. Now, I just see her doing nothing with her life and looking for me to fulfill hers. I refuse to. I made really good friends at school and she hasn't met them. I told her that I wouldn't let her because of her negative attitude towards any new friends. So closed minded.

I haven't been impressed lately as you can tell.
 
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  • #202
If only Jordan and Jason could trade bodies for a few days like in Freaky Friday.
 
  • #203
Jordan Joab said:
I hate you.

Hey man, I even told her she could have sex with other guys if she wanted to. Just too much for me.

Most guys say they can go all day, but really after like 3-5 times it's annoying.
 
  • #204
Math Is Hard said:
If only Jordan and Jason could trade bodies for a few days like in Freaky Friday.

LOL!

I wouldn't mind. :biggrin:
 
  • #205
JasonRox said:
I'm serious!

Yesterday, and this morning, I flat out refuse sex. I told her ahead of time too so that she wouldn't try. She tried anyways, but I was like... it won't work. It's just like... stop for one damn day. I could have sex everyday, but not all day everyday. Like, we go for a drive, she puts her hand you know where, we go shopping "Grab my ***. I like it.", we go to the beach "Grab my boobs and..." in the water. Like seriously! I'm getting frustrasted just thinking about it.

The sex is great don't get me wrong. Sometimes I just want to relax and you know, drive like a normal relaxed person, go shopping like a normal relaxed person, and go to the beach and have non-sexual fun.

:smile: Send your girlfriend to Jordan.

I've never heard a guy complain about too much sex before. Really. I mean, I understand, most women would probably understand, and I'll bet other guys do too, but none of them would ever admit it. But, yeah, as great as sex is, there needs to be more to a relationship than that or the sex just starts to feel cheap.
 
  • #206
JasonRox said:
Most guys say they can go all day...

Most guys exaggerate. I think their estimate of stamina is regulated by the same gene that they use to estimate the size of their penis and the size of the fish that got away. :wink:
 
  • #207
Moonbear said:
:smile: Send your girlfriend to Jordan.

I've never heard a guy complain about too much sex before. Really. I mean, I understand, most women would probably understand, and I'll bet other guys do too, but none of them would ever admit it. But, yeah, as great as sex is, there needs to be more to a relationship than that or the sex just starts to feel cheap.

I want sex a lot. Just not constant like she does. Also, I guess I want other girls too. :smile:

Just that I notice the sex she wants is sometimes associated to feelings about whether I want her or not. I want sex for sex and that's it. She's attaching a lot of symbolism to everything I noticed. Like a high school girl would.
 
  • #208
:smile:

Even though I don't get as much as I'd love to I must admit whenever I do get it, it is freaking great!:biggrin:

Plus, I've told my wife this: You are like underwear, I don't share you with my buddies
 
  • #209
Moonbear said:
Most guys exaggerate. I think their estimate of stamina is regulated by the same gene that they use to estimate the size of their penis and the size of the fish that got away. :wink:

Hey! HEY!





You are right.:-p
 
  • #210
Jordan Joab said:
:smile:

Even though I don't get as much as I'd love to I must admit whenever I do get it, it is freaking great!:biggrin:

Plus, I've told my wife this: You are like underwear, I don't share you with my buddies

I don't believe in ownership onto others. I don't share because that implies ownership also.
 
  • #211
JasonRox said:
I want sex a lot. Just not constant like she does. Also, I guess I want other girls too. :smile:

Just that I notice the sex she wants is sometimes associated to feelings about whether I want her or not. I want sex for sex and that's it. She's attaching a lot of symbolism to everything I noticed. Like a high school girl would.

It sounds like she's ready for an exclusive relationship, and you're not.
 
  • #212
Moonbear said:
:smile: Send your girlfriend to Jordan.

I've never heard a guy complain about too much sex before. Really. I mean, I understand, most women would probably understand, and I'll bet other guys do too, but none of them would ever admit it. But, yeah, as great as sex is, there needs to be more to a relationship than that or the sex just starts to feel cheap.
Sex needs to be fun and it needs to be fulfilling for both of you. When one or the other sets goals re: sex, it may be time to back off and take a look at your relationship. Sex is a small facet in the inter-social melding that you'll use to bond to another. It may be a strong attraction early on, but other attractions (and annoyances) will emerge later, and that's where infidelity, lying, etc start sliding in. Be honest with your lover.
 
  • #213
turbo-1 said:
Sex needs to be fun and it needs to be fulfilling for both of you. When one or the other sets goals re: sex, it may be time to back off and take a look at your relationship. Sex is a small facet in the inter-social melding that you'll use to bond to another. It may be a strong attraction early on, but other attractions (and annoyances) will emerge later, and that's where infidelity, lying, etc start sliding in. Be honest with your lover.

Sex is the only way you can express your love to your partner. You can usually express your love to parents, friends, co-workers, etc. in many different ways but sex is only restricted to your partner, as it should be.

I'll pass on cuddling, giggling, holding hands, and all that "fruity" stuff any day (granted, I still have to do it not as an obligation but because I still care about my wife).

Fornication, ****ing, etc. is an entirely different subject and something I'm not into. I read somewhere 1 in 4 Americans have herpes. **** that.
 
  • #214
Jordan Joab said:
Sex is the only way you can express your love to your partner. You can usually express your love to parents, friends, co-workers, etc. in many different ways but sex is only restricted to your partner, as it should be.

I'll pass on cuddling, giggling, holding hands, and all that "fruity" stuff any day (granted, I still have to do it not as an obligation but because I still care about my wife).

Fornication, ****ing, etc. is an entirely different subject and something I'm not into. I read somewhere 1 in 4 Americans have herpes. **** that.

I disagree that sex is the only way to express love to your partner.
 
  • #215
JasonRox said:
I disagree that sex is the only way to express love to your partner.

I didn't type that correctly.

Sex is the only form of love expression you can share with a wife/fiancee/girlfriend that you truly care about.
 
  • #216
Moonbear said:
It sounds like she's ready for an exclusive relationship, and you're not.

Of course I'm not ready for an exclusive relationship! It makes no sense to me. :smile:

Most of my friends and people I meet know I'm not like that (exclusive) and I never had any problems. Still have interests from girls that would date me and take me seriously. It's not a joke. It takes responsibility. I won't just go and sleep with anyone. It's not what it's about. I had a very very very attractive girl follow me to my apartment one night and I told her to go home. I was not interested. My friends ragged on me for like 2 weeks about it. She wasn't my type so I wasn't interested in starting anything with such a girl. Plus, I have to respect other girls I might be seeing by not sleeping with anyone because of the risk of STD's. But sleeping with other people does not mean I disrespect them and them sleeping with others does not mean they disrespect me. I don't think that way at all. Very difficult to explain online. I apologize and I refuse to go further about it. Avoid trying to "correct" my views since I can't even explain them.
 
  • #217
Jordan Joab said:
I didn't type that correctly.

Sex is the only form of love expression you can share with a wife/fiancee/girlfriend that you truly care about.

That's what you believe.

Sleeping with others does not mean you do not care about the girl/girls you are with. You're connection with another person is indepedent of the connection you have with another girl. So it makes no sense at all that actions taken with one girl has any meaning with regards to a different girl. They are completely independent!
 
  • #218
JasonRox said:
Of course I'm not ready for an exclusive relationship! It makes no sense to me. :smile:

Most of my friends and people I meet no I'm not like that and I never had any problems. Still have interests from girls that would date me and take me seriously. It's not a joke. It takes responsibility. I won't just go and sleep with anyone. It's not what it's about. I had a very very very attractive girl follow me to my apartment one night and I told her to go home. I was not interested. My friends ragged on me for like 2 weeks about it. She wasn't my type so I wasn't interested in starting anything with such a girl. Plus, I have to respect other girls I might be seeing by not sleeping with anyone because of the risk of STD's. But sleeping with other people does not mean I disrespect them and them sleeping with others does not mean they disrespect me. I don't think that way at all. Very difficult to explain online. I apologize and I refuse to go further about it. Avoid trying to "correct" my views since I can't even explain them.

Tom Brady, is that you?
 
  • #219
Jordan Joab said:
I didn't type that correctly.

Sex is the only form of love expression you can share with a wife/fiancee/girlfriend that you truly care about.

To me, now this is love


I don't think that happens in reality :shy: :cry:
 
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  • #220
JasonRox said:
That's what you believe.

Sleeping with others does not mean you do not care about the girl/girls you are with. You're connection with another person is indepedent of the connection you have with another girl. So it makes no sense at all that actions taken with one girl has any meaning with regards to a different girl. They are completely independent!

Millions of ex-wifes disagree with you. And since I'm not a rookie, I'll have to agree with the chicks.
 
  • #221
JasonRox said:
Avoid trying to "correct" my views since I can't even explain them.

Not sure if that was aimed toward me or just in general. I wasn't trying to correct your views, I think I was just stating the obvious (sometimes it's not obvious to someone in the middle of a relationship). There's nothing wrong with not being ready for (or not ever wanting) an exclusive relationship. It's only a problem if one half wants one thing and the other half wants another if they are not compatible.

I've done the "one-night-stand" thing when younger...though, not quite the usual way with a total stranger. It was with a friend of a friend I ran into at several parties and get-togethers. We were both going through a "dry spell" and really just wanted no-strings-attached sex. We were actually both worried the other might read more into it, so sat down and talked about it first. We made sure we both fully understood that it was a very specific physical need/desire we were taking care of and that we very well may never speak again afterward, and nobody was going to be upset if that's what happened. He was physically very attractive, but our personalities clashed, so I knew nothing could ever come of it. It served its purpose, though not nearly as good as when there are other feelings to go with it. No regrets, which was important and the point of talking it over first. It's really important to be sure that one person isn't expecting something different than the other in a situation like that or someone's going to be hurt. If you can't sit down and discuss it first, then it's best just not to do it.
 
  • #222
Jordan Joab said:
Millions of ex-wifes disagree with you.
I think you're missing the point that Jason isn't promising any form of commitment. It's different if you're married, which implies exclusivity. He's not promising that, and making it pretty clear that marriage ISN'T on his to-do list. If one is into the idea of open relationships, then marriage simply makes no sense.
 
  • #223
Moonbear said:
Not sure if that was aimed toward me or just in general. I wasn't trying to correct your views, I think I was just stating the obvious (sometimes it's not obvious to someone in the middle of a relationship). There's nothing wrong with not being ready for (or not ever wanting) an exclusive relationship. It's only a problem if one half wants one thing and the other half wants another if they are not compatible.

I've done the "one-night-stand" thing when younger...though, not quite the usual way with a total stranger. It was with a friend of a friend I ran into at several parties and get-togethers. We were both going through a "dry spell" and really just wanted no-strings-attached sex. We were actually both worried the other might read more into it, so sat down and talked about it first. We made sure we both fully understood that it was a very specific physical need/desire we were taking care of and that we very well may never speak again afterward, and nobody was going to be upset if that's what happened. He was physically very attractive, but our personalities clashed, so I knew nothing could ever come of it. It served its purpose, though not nearly as good as when there are other feelings to go with it. No regrets, which was important and the point of talking it over first. It's really important to be sure that one person isn't expecting something different than the other in a situation like that or someone's going to be hurt. If you can't sit down and discuss it first, then it's best just not to do it.

Oh no! Not you!

I didn't read the whole post yet. Just had to clear that up.
 
  • #224
Moonbear said:
I think you're missing the point that Jason isn't promising any form of commitment. It's different if you're married, which implies exclusivity. He's not promising that, and making it pretty clear that marriage ISN'T on his to-do list. If one is into the idea of open relationships, then marriage simply makes no sense.

Fair enough. So, open relationships should have no drama, yes? Man, that sounds like a great deal!
 
  • #225
Moonbear said:
I think you're missing the point that Jason isn't promising any form of commitment. It's different if you're married, which implies exclusivity. He's not promising that, and making it pretty clear that marriage ISN'T on his to-do list. If one is into the idea of open relationships, then marriage simply makes no sense.

Thank you. :smile:
 
  • #226
Jordan Joab said:
Fair enough. So, open relationships should have no drama, yes? Man, that sounds like a great deal!

No, that's a naive approach to open relationships which is why it has such a bad connotations and reputation.

Just like any relationship, communication is important.
 
  • #227
lisab said:
Jordan - "I'm starving to death!"

Jason - "I'm being fed to death!"

And I really feel bad for both of you :frown: .

OMG. and the PF funniest member award goes to...<drumroll>

:smile::smile::smile::smile::smile::smile::smile::smile:
 
  • #228
that is pretty funny---the Goldilocks Syndrome
 

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