I've felt really lonely as of late

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The discussion centers around feelings of loneliness and the struggle to form meaningful relationships. Participants share experiences of feeling unsupported by friends during tough times and express frustration over past relationships that were controlling or unfulfilling. There is a consensus that many people, especially at a young age, may not yet understand themselves or how to build genuine connections. Suggestions include the importance of networking, socializing in various environments, and the potential benefits of pets for companionship. Some participants reflect on their own pasts, noting that while they have struggled with friendships, they have also found value in self-discovery and personal growth. The conversation emphasizes the need for patience in forming relationships and the importance of being proactive in reaching out to others. Overall, the thread highlights a shared sense of isolation while encouraging members to seek connections and support.
  • #31
mcknia07 said:
Hey, i can't help it, I am blonde, and yeah, I guess you could say nerdy, too :biggrin:

There's nothing wrong with being blonde and nerdy. :biggrin:
 
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  • #32
binzing said:
Sucks, doesn't it LBS?

Well, I guess it wouldn't suck if I were anti-social. However, I'm not that way at all, so yeah, it does suck.
 
  • #33
LightbulbSun said:
There's nothing wrong with being blonde and nerdy. :biggrin:

It just doesn't fit the normal standards :smile:
 
  • #34
mcknia07 said:
It just doesn't fit the normal standards :smile:

Screw those standards. They're just being narrow-minded and unimaginative. :biggrin:
 
  • #35
LightbulbSun said:
Screw those standards. They're just being narrow-minded and unimaginative. :biggrin:

Yeah, true. Very good point there :smile: Standards are crap! :biggrin:
 
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  • #36
mcknia07 said:
Yeah, true. Very good point there :smile: Standards are crap! :biggrin:

Are you going to college for science? If so, what field are you specifying in?
 
  • #37
LightbulbSun said:
Are you going to college for science? If so, what field are you specifying in?

Yeah I'm going to college, but for Mechanical Engineering. I absolutely love it so far!
 
  • #38
Light bulb sun, this is loneliness as opposed to "alone time"?

Try your best to do two things.

1. use retrospection to see who your real friends are (and this includes yourself)

a. for instance, take yourself out for ice cream, coffees and dinners. You wouldn't bore a
real friend by feeling lonely and sorry would you? Don't do it to yourself.

b. search your memory for who it was that seemed to understand your sense of humour and your way of seeing. Contact them or remember to talk to them next time you see them.


2. Value this time as an opportunity to get to know yourself.

a. this will make you a better friend in the end.
 
  • #39
mcknia07 said:
Yeah I'm going to college, but for Mechanical Engineering. I absolutely love it so far!

Very nice. I'm eventually going to go to school for web design.
 
  • #40
baywax said:
Light bulb sun, this is loneliness as opposed to "alone time"?

It's a case of both.

Try your best to do two things.

1. use retrospection to see who your real friends are (and this includes yourself)

a. for instance, take yourself out for ice cream, coffees and dinners. You wouldn't bore a
real friend by feeling lonely and sorry would you? Don't do it to yourself.

b. search your memory for who it was that seemed to understand your sense of humour and your way of seeing. Contact them or remember to talk to them next time you see them.


2. Value this time as an opportunity to get to know yourself.

a. this will make you a better friend in the end.

Sounds like good advice. I appreciate your thoughtful post. :smile:
 
  • #41
LightbulbSun said:
Very nice. I'm eventually going to go to school for web design.

Sweetness, that sounds like it would be really fun :) So, you aren't in college now then?
 
  • #42
mcknia07 said:
Sweetness, that sounds like it would be really fun :) So, you aren't in college now then?

No. I have to pay off a loan first, which should be happening soon. I've been doing a lot of learning from home so I'm not an absolute beginner with it.
 
  • #43
LightbulbSun said:
No. I have to pay off a loan first, which should be happening soon. I've been doing a lot of learning from home so I'm not an absolute beginner with it.

Oh ok, well that's good then. How long do you have to go to school to be a web designer?
 
  • #44
mcknia07 said:
Oh ok, well that's good then. How long do you have to go to school to be a web designer?

I'm not sure about the details of it, but I believe it's only a two year thing. It's probably more though.
 
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  • #45
LightbulbSun said:
I'm not sure about the details of it, but I believe it's only a two year thing. It's probably more though.

Nice, college can be expensive too, so two years shouldn't be too bad, then :smile:
 
  • #46
Evo said:
WHOA! I can't believe it, someone has made a smiley out of our fish whacking ceremony!

fish2.gif

Handy dandy, ain't it? :biggrin:
 
  • #47
hello! I'm new ... I want to greet you a pleasant day...
 
  • #48
dianne said:
hello! I'm new ... I want to greet you a pleasant day...

Thanks, and welcome aboard. :smile:
 
  • #49
Daniel Y. said:
Don't sweat women at 20 - I'm firmly convinced women any younger than 24+ don't even know what's going on in their own head!

Yet they pretty well know that what's going on in a typical man's head, since it's a lot easier to know what's going on in an empty head!:wink:
 
  • #50
Nothing!
 
  • #51
LightbulbSun said:
It's a case of both.



Sounds like good advice. I appreciate your thoughtful post. :smile:

It's easy to give advice. What's happened to your high school friends? Those are bonds that can be deep and long lasting. I have one friend from grade 5. We used to surreptitiously draw hot-rods and funny cars together in class. We both got into windsurfing and now he's a fanatic. Lots of cool people on the beach.
 
  • #52
There's some that do though. I've met two this year, amazing girls.
 
  • #53
baywax said:
It's easy to give advice. What's happened to your high school friends? Those are bonds that can be deep and long lasting. I have one friend from grade 5. We used to surreptitiously draw hot-rods and funny cars together in class. We both got into windsurfing and now he's a fanatic. Lots of cool people on the beach.

Most of my high school friends betrayed me in the end. The ones that didn't are distant from me now, and are too caught up in other things to reestablish anything.
 
  • #54
LightbulbSun said:
Most of my high school friends betrayed me in the end. The ones that didn't are distant from me now, and are too caught up in other things to reestablish anything.

OK. I doubt that they're too caught up to do something. But, if you've talked to them and that's the response, who needs em!

Betrayed you? What is your definition of betrayal?
 
  • #55
baywax said:
Betrayed you? What is your definition of betrayal?

Stopped being my friend on the grounds of an event I wasn't involved in and was unaware of. That kind of betrayal.
 
  • #56
LightbulbSun said:
Stopped being my friend on the grounds of an event I wasn't involved in and was unaware of. That kind of betrayal.

That sounds more like misinterpretation, misunderstanding and poor communication.

Betrayal in my dictionary is sucker-punching, malicious and unwarranted acts of harm to others that are done solely for the benefit of the betrayer. Its a lot like a traitorous act to a nation.
 
  • #57


I think you found an answer right here. There are dozens of potential friends on this sight willing to discuss your issues (while bringing up a few of their own). Yes, people can be shallow and self-absorbed (the number one cause of loneliness, by the way), but if you make the effort to reach out, you will be able to demand the effort from your friends, without guilt. Start with a simple request, like: "Can I ask you for a little of your time?"
Explain that you just need someone to listen to you, not to try to come up with some quick answer to your problems. And understand the obligation to listen to what they have to say in response. Consider their opinions and express some gratitude regardless of their response.
You'll find you can't do this and feel lonely at the same time, and when people feel appreciated, they become better friends.
 
  • #58


Try enjoying yourself before you expect anyone else to do that.
 
  • #59


poeteye said:
I think you found an answer right here. There are dozens of potential friends on this sight willing to discuss your issues (while bringing up a few of their own). Yes, people can be shallow and self-absorbed (the number one cause of loneliness, by the way), but if you make the effort to reach out, you will be able to demand the effort from your friends, without guilt. Start with a simple request, like: "Can I ask you for a little of your time?"
Explain that you just need someone to listen to you, not to try to come up with some quick answer to your problems. And understand the obligation to listen to what they have to say in response. Consider their opinions and express some gratitude regardless of their response.
You'll find you can't do this and feel lonely at the same time, and when people feel appreciated, they become better friends.
This member hasn't been here in 2 years.
 

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