- #31
St. Aegis
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Isnt appearance everything for women?
Little help with asking people out
- Thread starter St. Aegis
- Start date
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The discussion revolves around a user seeking advice on how to approach a girl he likes from school, emphasizing his uncertainty about whether she reciprocates his feelings. Participants suggest various strategies for initiating conversation and gauging interest, such as making small talk in class, inviting her to casual outings, or participating in shared activities. They highlight the importance of confidence and reading social cues, like body language and engagement during conversations, as indicators of her interest. The conversation also touches on the challenges of long-distance interactions, given their separate schools, and the awkwardness of asking someone out via chat. Overall, the consensus encourages taking the initiative to ask her out, while also stressing that casual interactions can help build rapport without the pressure of a formal date. The importance of self-esteem and not overthinking the situation is emphasized, with reminders that rejection is a possibility but should not deter him from trying.
- #32
Howers
- 443
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At a young age, appearance is everything (showcase your genes).
After about 24, money is everything a girl wants. For guys its still appearance, and after about 30 its anything with legs.
And you should postpone asking her out. Not because you are ugly, but because you think you are ugly. Girls pick that up with a radar.
After about 24, money is everything a girl wants. For guys its still appearance, and after about 30 its anything with legs.
And you should postpone asking her out. Not because you are ugly, but because you think you are ugly. Girls pick that up with a radar.
- #33
St. Aegis
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i never said ugly; I have decent features, i just don't like my outlook
- #34
thebluelagoon
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I got to agree with the appearance thing - although I hate to say it, good looks is prime. BUT I think you look awesome, St Aegis. And I think that girl will too. And if she doesn't she is missing out on some prime stock right there.
- #35
St. Aegis
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aw thanks man,
my self-esteem is really high now
my self-esteem is really high now
- #36
tribdog
- 768
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don't get cocky
- #37
Astronuc
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
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Use a bicycle. Just don't push it too hard so that you get hot and sweaty.St. Aegis said:
When I was in high school, I once dated a girl who live about 90 miles from me.
My brother had a girlfriend who lived in the Philippines (stepfather was in the US Navy), while we lived in the US. They got married three years later when her family moved to the US, and she attended the same university as my brother.
I also developed a close relationship with a woman who lived 7000 km (4200 mi) from me.
- #38
NeoDevin
- 334
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St. Aegis said:
I would stay away from saying "I love you" until after you've been dating her for a while.
- #39
BobG
Science Advisor
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tribdog said:
Okay, I could probably handle being called disgusting, but implying I'm more disgusting than Name deleted by mentor is going to way to far! Nobody is more disgusting than Name deleted by mentor! And Nobody is more disgusting than me! (Which, I guess, doesn't completely eliminate the possibility I'm more disgusting than Name deleted by mentor ...)
And I know it was my name that was deleted! And, NO, I'm not suffering from insecurities! I just wish I were Somebody! Somebody is pretty awesome.
I'd offer the original poster some advice, but, somehow, I doubt they want any from me.
- #40
Topher925
- 1,562
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"You know, my two favorite things in the world are commitment and changing myself."
Works every time.
Works every time.
- #41
Evo
Staff Emeritus
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No, a great sense of humor, intelligence and kindness are the top three things, looks are not as important.St. Aegis said:
- #42
kingdomof
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Evo said:
So what you're saying here is that I'm screwed.
Personally, I think OP should just invest the time in something more fruitful, like, well, you know.
A business relationship.
- #43
St. Aegis
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I wish everyone acted like you do lawlEvo said:
At my school, I think people go out with each other based on looks ...
ok so from what i gathered this is what I should do
1)Talk to her and ask her to go somewhere with me (Ideally by ourselves, but groups work right?)
2)When we get there, have a great time
3)Somewhere in between there, separate from other people for a bit and ask her out, this doesn't have to be too romantic amiright?
4)Act cool and calm if i get rejected?
any suggestions would help, I don't plan to carry this out until i have a fool-proof plan on me
- #44
Jimmy Snyder
- 1,122
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I haven't read this thread, so I must apologize if these ideas have already been suggested or if they are not pertinent.
1. Before asking this girl out, practice on girls you are not attracted to. You will gain useful experience and who knows, you may change your mind.
2. Before talking to her, have an exit strategy, like "Oh I just membered, I was supposed to meet George at the mall, got to run. Bye.", and cut out. Then when you are talking to her, and you start to feel nervous and are afraid she'll see you in a bad light, exit. The next time you meet, you won't feel awkward.
1. Before asking this girl out, practice on girls you are not attracted to. You will gain useful experience and who knows, you may change your mind.
2. Before talking to her, have an exit strategy, like "Oh I just membered, I was supposed to meet George at the mall, got to run. Bye.", and cut out. Then when you are talking to her, and you start to feel nervous and are afraid she'll see you in a bad light, exit. The next time you meet, you won't feel awkward.
- #45
St. Aegis
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That actually isn't a bad idea.jimmysnyder said:
Lawl, although I feel really bad about the first part; ask someone then dumping her. Its like dating can be practiced like piano
Second part, I will keep in mind, but remember, if I bring her somewhere, what would be my excuse then?
- #46
NeoDevin
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St. Aegis said:Its like dating can be practiced like piano
Anything that is a skill can be learned through practice.
- #47
St. Aegis
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then are you saying that romance is superficial?
- #48
Jimmy Snyder
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A date is not like a marriage. You can take a girl to a movie, or to eat, or etc. and it doesn't commit you to anything.St. Aegis said:That actually isn't a bad idea.
Lawl, although I feel really bad about the first part; ask someone then dumping her. Its like dating can be practiced like piano
Second part, I will keep in mind, but remember, if I bring her somewhere, what would be my excuse then?
Stay on neutral territory until you feel comfortable with her. You could break something if before that point you ask her out on a skiing trip and get nervous on the lift.
- #49
St. Aegis
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But isn't a date something to show another girl that you like her?
I feel comfortable, but I would like more advice on my plan
I feel comfortable, but I would like more advice on my plan
- #50
rootX
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St. Aegis said:
I only went through half of the thread.
1. Don't put other people picture online without their permission
2. IMO it's better to stay away from *serious* romance until you have graduated, have some money, and a sense of responsibility and maturity.
Personally, I am not looking at any girl until I graduate and travel at least some other countries/cultures/places and have a better understanding of what exactly I want.
Simple dating, having fun without any commitments is ok.
In addition, I don't think there's any way you can tell if a *young* girl likes you. They are hard to trust because they don't even know themselves and their choices change frequently.
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- #51
St. Aegis
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1)Ok picture deleted, I guess that was immature on my part ...
2)Thing is, she IS my ideal girl; or someone who I would imagine that I would live with. Of course, I guess I don't know her absolutely well still...
2)Thing is, she IS my ideal girl; or someone who I would imagine that I would live with. Of course, I guess I don't know her absolutely well still...
- #52
kingdomof
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St. Aegis said:
I'll give you the same advice my friend gave me upon entering college. "You know, go after girls man, but don't treat it as anything more than practice. You don't have the time for that type of crap, and furthermore, you shouldn't tie yourself down early."
My dark humor isn't exactly appreciated here, but nevertheless, I got to say a few things.
You like science, right? Well, dude, why wouldn't you put an acid directly to a base? Same thing here, except there are certain things which you aren't putting together in the social situation. You should take this advice and not only observe it to a degree, but actually try to make some sense out of it by yourself and ask why. Its lovely to have everything laid out for you, but you should come up with a reason as to why these people are saying to do this and what not. Keep in mind, through your experience with just asking out your first girl and what not, you're actually setting yourself up mentally for future experiences with girls and future friends. You shouldn't approach the situation as "Oh God, this girl is the one." but more casually, as she is most likely not going to be your soulmate or whatever cliche you subscribe to. She's just some broad, never let that leave your head, and you just want to hang out with her. Go with the flow of things and try to look for certain social cues which would allow you to arrive at the conclusion of "Alright, she digs me because of XYZ." Spend time with her as you would anyone else, except just be a little more suggestive of the fact that you like her, don't be nervous of it. If she rejects it, she rejects it, who gave a ****.
Dates are sort of a more grandiose move which one would play when a mutual connection is made. However, it is not just merely chilling to get to know the girl a little better.
In all honesty though, good luck, and I hope it works out. Most men have been through this and survived, either direction it went. Truthfully, be happy either way. Girls suck :(
- #53
BobG
Science Advisor
- 352
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St. Aegis said:Its like dating can be practiced like piano
NeoDevin said:
St. Aegis said:
There was a time when it was common to have single dates with a variety of partners. A date shouldn't be a commitment to romance.
If you're nervous about conversation, try a neutral physical activity (one neither of you specializes in). Miniature golf and bowling are decent activities that give lots of breaks for conversation and something to talk about when you're at a loss for any 'meaningful' topics. Or some other activity that requires some kind of interaction - roller skating, baking cookies, making pizza, building a shed, etc.
A movie isn't a great first date unless the two of you already talk to each other a lot. Otherwise, you're going somewhere just to sit next to each other while not talking to each other.
- #54
tribdog
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Evo said:
wow, that's me.
- #55
St. Aegis
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Ok, then its settled, something that we both don't specialize in...
- #56
NeoDevin
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St. Aegis said:
No, just that it is something that can be learned. http://www.fastseduction.com/" Just because something can be studied or learned does not mean it is superficial (and just because something is superficial, doesn't not mean it is bad). Anyways, have fun!
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- #57
St. Aegis
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um wow, they have forums for this tooo?
i don't trust these forums lawl
and thanks
i don't trust these forums lawl
and thanks
- #58
offtheleft
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bro, bottom line; ask her out. if you don't its a definite no.
- #59
NeoDevin
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St. Aegis said:
They have forums for everything. I'm not a member of either of the ones I linked to (I'm married, so am no longer in the dating game) so can't recommend if they're any good or not, but you're free to google more if you want, I'm sure there are a lot.
- #60
Howers
- 443
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Evo said:
I'm not saying I think you are a liar, I am saying I know you are. The question is whether or not you are aware of it.