Managing Mental Health at University: Coping with Stress and Overwhelm

[member 392791]

Hello..

So for the past month I transferred to UC Berkeley, and I've been miserable ever since. My roommates are animals and can't clean anything that they use, even my utensils that I said they could use at the beginning they don't clean up properly and never put away and ruin my stuff. I mean they have frickin bled on the toilet seats and just left it there, I don't know if they have hemorrhoids or what, and they leave their pee on the seats too.

My schoolwork is becoming over my head and I can't keep up with all the work. I can't learn fast enough to do the homework in a timely fashion. Some of my professors are complete jerks and won't help me at all. I feel like I'm just going to fall flat on my face for this chemE exam. I'm so sick of studying until 2am and waking up at 6am to go to class.

Just went through a breakup with my girlfriend and all the emotional stuff that goes with that.

Pretty much just feeling really horrible right now and I hate this place. I don't know what to do. I just want to lash out because I'm so angry, depressed, mad, etc. I'm way in over my head. Have no friends here either or a car, so I can't go anywhere. I'm just a sitting duck, I feel so mad and have no control over what's going on.

I know this isn't the best place to go to vent my frustrations, but I have no one here to talk to and my mom's response is just to suck it up. This is too much for me

 

[WannabeNewton]

Hey man. I can totally relate. I hate my university too and I have many of the same qualms you have. It's extremely depressing here as well. I'm afraid I can't really give you any solutions but talking to a sympathizer definitely helps; try to find a good friend to vent to, it really makes things better. I feel like for every day that goes by, I care less and less about everything. This university is like a vampire, it just sucks the life right out of you so at least you aren't alone eh? But yeah like I said, you should definitely find someone to talk to because venting your frustrations can definitely relieve a lot of stress and generally depressing feelings. Good luck!

 

[Crake]

Hello..

So for the past month I transferred to UC Berkeley, and I've been miserable ever since. My roommates are animals and can't clean anything that they use, even my utensils that I said they could use at the beginning they don't clean up properly and never put away and ruin my stuff. I mean they have frickin bled on the toilet seats and just left it there, I don't know if they have hemorrhoids or what, and they leave their pee on the seats too.

My schoolwork is becoming over my head and I can't keep up with all the work. I can't learn fast enough to do the homework in a timely fashion. Some of my professors are complete jerks and won't help me at all. I feel like I'm just going to fall flat on my face for this chemE exam. I'm so sick of studying until 2am and waking up at 6am to go to class.

Just went through a breakup with my girlfriend and all the emotional stuff that goes with that.

Pretty much just feeling really horrible right now and I hate this place. I don't know what to do. I just want to lash out because I'm so angry, depressed, mad, etc. I'm way in over my head. Have no friends here either or a car, so I can't go anywhere. I'm just a sitting duck, I feel so mad and have no control over what's going on.

I know this isn't the best place to go to vent my frustrations, but I have no one here to talk to and my mom's response is just to suck it up. This is too much for me

You should probably post this on academic guidance. This topic is not exactly about gossip, and as such, I think you'll get better answers in academic guidance.

Can't you move to another room, with different roommates?

Stay strong dude.

 

[Mk]

You'll make it just fine.

 

[leroyjenkens]

There's lots of people, probably including some people here, who would trade lives with you in a second. They probably wouldn't even let me park my car at Berkeley, much less attend the school.

 

[Evo]

You should probably post this on academic guidance. This topic is not exactly about gossip, and as such, I think you'll get better answers in academic guidance.

Can't you move to another room, with different roommates?

Stay strong dude.

This isn't appropriate for academic guidance as he's not asking for academic advice.

 

[Evo]

I'm really sorry to hear about this Woopy. I tried living with roommates and it drove me crazy, I decided it was worth it to be poor and live alone. I realize that living alone is probably not even an option for you right now, which makes things so much worse. Also sorry about your breakup, hang in there, we're here for you, so vent all you need to.

 

[member 392791]

I tried switching rooms a few weeks ago, and I was told that room changes aren't made because it's difficult to find a room where someone else is willing to switch, as well as there is no guarantee that I will like my new roommates. Of all the things going on, I would say my roommates are the least of my troubles, even if I mentioned them first.

Been feeling unmotivated to study yesterday and hopefully not today, I have to work for that exam. I want to see all those hours of work come into fruition.

 

[zapz]

Sorry you're feeling that. I can relate to a lot of those things though and am going through some of them now. Its tough. I'm not at Berkeley but feel free to PM me to talk if you want.

 

[Enigman]

Come on break it up all of you, you are hijacking the thread...
Woopy, you are going to do well. If you don't believe that you are already admitting defeat. You WILL do well. Things don't always work out as we want them too, just make the best of what you can. If the profs won't help, big deal! what's PF for? And this is as good as any place if you want to vent, just rant off. I can't give any game changing advice but just stick it through. Develop a hobby or something to blow the steam off. Can be anything from darts to books to music. Life will have its way with you if you don't have your way with it.

People will always throw stones in your path.
What will happen depends on what you make out of it
– a wall or a bridge!

 

[Akaisora]

So sharing rooms/apartments with people is that bad; just as I thought.

 

[jtbell]

The best way to fix your roommate situation is to make enough friends that you find one who needs a roommate, too. Then you can join up.

That's how it worked for me when I was in college. During my first year and a half, I had a succession of roommates that I didn't connect with. Then one of the other physics majors who I knew well by that time needed a roommate because his current one was moving out. So I moved into his room. Together we were able to get a better room for the following year, and that was where we spent our junior and senior years.

 

[Akaisora]

Pretty much what jtbell said.

Befriend or change your roommates. That will not only make things better, regarding hygiene and sharing apartments with them, but you will find studying in groups more effective and productive, thus decreasing the academic pressure.

That aside, you will not get depressed when you're surrounded by your friends.

 

[jackmell]

That aside, you will not get depressed when you're surrounded by your friends.

I disagree with this. Your social engagements can be a significant factor in causing depression. Do I need to cite something for that statement cus' just talking about how social experiences contribute to depression is depressing.

There is a contemporary thread in here suggesting that depression is inversely proportional to exercising. I believe that is true and also believe some or many of the problems this student is facing can be significantly reduced by exercising, getting involved in sports, whatever they do at fancy Berkeley not that I'm pretty jealous that I didn't get to go there or wasn't what, "qualified" or whatever and would appreciate being there and not complain about little things but I digress. What I'm saying is that the fatigue after exertion is cathartic to the mind; it makes you feel better.

Try it and I bet a lot of your problems will become less of a problem.

 

[jgens]

My roommates are animals and can't clean anything that they use, even my utensils that I said they could use at the beginning they don't clean up properly and never put away and ruin my stuff. I mean they have frickin bled on the toilet seats and just left it there, I don't know if they have hemorrhoids or what, and they leave their pee on the seats too.

These sorts of situations are never any fun. One thing you can try for the utensils is to keep a small stash of them hidden with your things. Just wash them each time you're done with them and you never have to worry about cleaning your roommates dirty stuff.

My schoolwork is becoming over my head and I can't keep up with all the work. I can't learn fast enough to do the homework in a timely fashion. Some of my professors are complete jerks and won't help me at all. I feel like I'm just going to fall flat on my face for this chemE exam. I'm so sick of studying until 2am and waking up at 6am to go to class.

This also sucks but sometimes it is just the way things are. My first year of college I was averaging something like three hours of sleep a night just to keep up with all the work. There are two things I will say though:

1. If you are really struggling and your professors can tell that you are making a genuine effort (by doing the homework, going to office hours, etc) sometimes they will cut you a break. Maybe they will give you opportunities to make up some grades for example. They may not do anything but asking is always worth a try.
2. Sometimes the combination of your course load and life circumstances are just too much to deal with. If this is the case, then there is no shame in withdrawing from a class or something and giving yourself some time to work everything out.

 

[FlexGunship]

Hello..

So for the past month I transferred to UC Berkeley, and I've been miserable ever since. My roommates are animals and can't clean anything that they use, even my utensils that I said they could use at the beginning they don't clean up properly and never put away and ruin my stuff. I mean they have frickin bled on the toilet seats and just left it there, I don't know if they have hemorrhoids or what, and they leave their pee on the seats too.

This is a distinctly freshman problem. In reputable schools, these types don't last. That being said, spending time in a dorm is depressing on its own. Get out and be with friends. Go to the library. Labs. Any of the many social areas.

My schoolwork is becoming over my head and I can't keep up with all the work. I can't learn fast enough to do the homework in a timely fashion. Some of my professors are complete jerks and won't help me at all. I feel like I'm just going to fall flat on my face for this chemE exam. I'm so sick of studying until 2am and waking up at 6am to go to class.

Yeah, I wouldn't do that.

Professors aren't jerks, they just don't care. If my hunch is right, and you're a freshman, most professors have no interest in introductory level classes. Just get through it. Study earlier and more often. Do it with friends.

Just went through a breakup with my girlfriend and all the emotional stuff that goes with that.

Go to the gym! I don't know why, but that always makes me feel better. If you don't go now, then start. The first ~3 times are hard. But just stick with it. Consider it responsibility practice.

Pretty much just feeling really horrible right now and I hate this place. I don't know what to do. I just want to lash out because I'm so angry, depressed, mad, etc. I'm way in over my head. Have no friends here either or a car, so I can't go anywhere. I'm just a sitting duck, I feel so mad and have no control over what's going on.

I know this isn't the best place to go to vent my frustrations, but I have no one here to talk to and my mom's response is just to suck it up. This is too much for me

I'd definitely start by making some friends. There are plenty of people in your shoes that probably feel the same way and are also looking for friends. Talking is a great start. Something as simple as "hey, I hate to ask, but I really don't get _________" is enough to start a conversation.

 

[member 392791]

Right now I am feeling horrible. I took that ChemE exam last night and I'm sure I failed it, and my materials test is tomorrow and I am certain I will fail it. I really don't want to be here, I don't want to go to school, this is so horrible I've never experienced anything like this before. I just want to buy a plane ticket back home and stop going to class, but I know so much has been invested in me to come here, I feel so much pressure to succeed and I am spiraling downwards. This is pure misery

I wish I would have never came here

 

[PNGeng]

Welcome to the club.

 

[lisab]

Right now I am feeling horrible. I took that ChemE exam last night and I'm sure I failed it, and my materials test is tomorrow and I am certain I will fail it. I really don't want to be here, I don't want to go to school, this is so horrible I've never experienced anything like this before. I just want to buy a plane ticket back home and stop going to class, but I know so much has been invested in me to come here, I feel so much pressure to succeed and I am spiraling downwards. This is pure misery

I wish I would have never came here

I've been in your place before and yep, I agree, it's horrible.

My advice: Salvage what you can out of this quarter. If it means dropping a class, do it, but realize that you can't make a habit out of that. One dropped class is not a big deal compared to really bombing several classes.

Next quarter, be *sure* to get plenty of sleep! You're making the exact same mistake I made: sacrificing sleep in order to study. But there are plenty of studies that show you don't learn efficiently when you are sleep deprived. If you need more time studying than other people, so be it. Suck it up, realize that's how it is, and take fewer classes next time.

This quarter is just a speed bump. It will get better, really.

 

[member 392791]

My anxiety has been increasing a lot, I am finding it harder and harder to get assignments done, to focus on coursework, and feeling less energy than before. Everything is harder, even waking up in the morning. I am pretty sure that I have depression, and thankfully tomorrow I will be meeting with a psychologist to evaluate my mental health.

I have been thinking about transferring to a local university, but it is so hard to essentially ''admit defeat'' at Berkeley and leave. I am at a premier institute of research (not learning from what I have noticed) and the prestige that comes with this place could last me a lifetime.

 

[Enigman]

My anxiety has been increasing a lot, I am finding it harder and harder to get assignments done, to focus on coursework, and feeling less energy than before. Everything is harder, even waking up in the morning.

Try meditating, it helps with all the things you mentioned- calms you down, focuses you, gets rid of lethargy and helps sleep too.
Stay Strong.