# More independent you make your own happiness

• ### My happiness only needs the Toronto Maple Leafs to win the Stanley Cup in my lifetime.

• Total voters
17
• Poll closed .
Homework Helper
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I picked number 2. Just so you get a sense of how my comments relate to the poll.

I'm curious to know what brings happiness to the members here at PF.

I have got into many conversations with people where they think my views are just insane and flat out stupid.

I believe happiness is something that is independent of anything else. Like most philosophies, no one can take it away from you.

Therefore, if you have just the right amount to live, you can maintain utmost happiness. Happiness is independent of wealth and objects you own.

People think it's crazy because they need a car to drive around and one that is not too old and runs good. They need a cellphone and an MP3 player because life is boring without them. The list goes on and depend on who it is, but most seem to agree with making a considerable amount of money.

Also, I have a hearing disability and I'm bound to become deaf early in my life. Of course this a downer, but I've never really let it affect me. People seem shocked that it doesn't seem to affect me at all. Therefore, my happiness is truly independent of even my hearing. I'm not going to say that you can take out my eyes and I'll be cool with it though.

The above example just describes that happiness must truly be independent of everything and not just material objects and wealth.

I'm just saying that the more independent you make your own happiness the happier you will be. This is what I think.

Anyways, this might seem like a philosophical question, but I think it's rather quite general because I'm not attaching this to human nature or what not.

So, basically what makes you happy? In your experience, what makes you happy?

Note: The poll is just to get a sense of how people think, so the poll will have every option out there.

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Note: The poll is just to get a sense of how people think, so the poll will have every option out there.

dav2008
Gold Member
I'm happy when I don't have any problems that need to be solved.

I have no happiness.

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dav2008 said:
I'm happy when I don't have any problems that need to be solved.

Try not to think of them as problems and so you will never have problems. Therefore, you have eternal happiness.

I'm fairly happy without much money or being in great health. I think that will need to change if I ever intend to get married though.

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I have no happiness.

What about looking at hot girls?

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TheStatutoryApe said:
I think that will need to change if I ever intend to get married though.

Very true. That seems to be problem.

But isn't a truly great girlfriend/wife is one who accepts your views? Even better, someone who shares them?

I don't think I can marry someone who doesn't agree on the basis of how I live my life.

Astronuc
Staff Emeritus
JasonRox said:
What about looking at hot girls?
Rub it in why don't you.

JasonRox said:
But isn't a truly great girlfriend/wife is one who accepts your views? Even better, someone who shares them?
Not necessarily, but that depends on one's criterion for greatness.

A great person accepts others as they come. I don't try to change people, except for self-destructive behavior. However, in the end, it's not my decision to change someone, but to simply show how and the possibility.

A great friend accepts one as is. A great wife accepts one as is, but she does not have to accept one's views nor share them.

One's views can be a product of one's unique experience, and I have had a fairly unique life and I would not expect anyone to understand some of my ideas simply because others have not had that experience.

Life has its ups and its downs. Without a negative, the positive is meaningless. Being happy is a function of your present situation. If you have had a bad week, a normal day would be a really good day. If you have average days all week, that same day is meaningless to you.

I chose number 4, although I don't possess even a fair bit amount of money.

Therefore, if you have just the right amount to live, you can maintain utmost happiness. Happiness is independent of wealth and objects you own.

I think the happiness, at least of people in the cities, much depends on the amount of money you have and health. You see, if you have less money, you don't have money to pay bills, you may reach for drugs, alcohol, depression which leads to unhappy, sensless and sisyphean life. Poor people tend to smile less then those of the middle class. Once life around you stops having sense, the feeling of happiness also stops reaching you. Therefore, more stabilized your wealth and health is, more happiness you have. And again, people of great businesses will also I think smile less, they're always busy making too much money not thinking about the true sense of life, just thinking of themselves and bank accounts.

Thanks,

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cyrusabdollahi said:
Life has its ups and its downs. Without a negative, the positive is meaningless. Being happy is a function of your present situation. If you have had a bad week, a normal day would be a really good day. If you have average days all week, that same day is meaningless to you.

Now, you must define ups and downs.

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heartless said:
I chose number 4, although I don't possess even a fair bit amount of money.

I think the happiness, at least of people in the cities, much depends on the amount of money you have and health. You see, if you have less money, you don't have money to pay bills, you may reach for drugs, alcohol, depression which leads to unhappy, sensless and sisyphean life. Poor people tend to smile less then those of the middle class. Once life around you stops having sense, the feeling of happiness also stops reaching you. Therefore, more stabilized your wealth and health is, more happiness you have. And again, people of great businesses will also I think smile less, they're always busy making too much money not thinking about the true sense of life, just thinking of themselves and bank accounts.

Thanks,

You asked to be well off. I can hardly call that something one must need.

I said a fair amount to live. The city costs more so a fair amount to live rises.

Sure you say it's to pay bills, but what bills? Credit cards? 3 separate cell phones? BMW? Insanely large condo? These are not necessary for anyone.

Who said people of lower wealth class smile less than the above? That's utterly completely FALSE. If this is the way you see the world, I hope you become wiser.

Sure you say it's to pay bills, but what bills? Credit cards? 3 separate cell phones? BMW? Insanely large condo? These are not necessary for anyone.

An average price of the apt. in NYC costs 1500$as far as I am concerned, you don't need cell phones, nor you don't need as good car as BMW. If you add internet, electricity the amount indeed rises. It's not a problem in U.S but have you ever seen/read about life in eastern Europe? There, people rarely get help from the government, they in a month earn as much as here in a few days. You have to pay high bills. Here all you do if you don't want to work is get a help from government, many do such a thing. Take for example Russia, or any of the nations around. There, ordinary people earn about 200$ (thay have a different valute though) a month. Would you make a good happy living out of this, worrying everyday how to feed your kids, and whether they're going to throw you out the house or not?

Who said people of lower wealth class smile less than the above? That's utterly completely FALSE. If this is the way you see the world, I hope you become wiser.

Why do you smile and fell happy? What leads you to do so?

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heartless said:
Why do you smile and fell happy? What leads you to do so?

Certainly not money. I'd smile more fooling around with a hot girl than a friend giving me a $100. I said fair amount to live. You are taking this out of proportion to the point it implies you can't feed your kids or worry about feeding them. I never said that. I can hardly say being well off a necessity. That's just pushing it. I never actually thought someone would take that option. I thought there was a better chance that someone would pick the last one. Well off means that you have a plasma TV and so on. That's well off. Certainly not money. I'd smile more fooling around with a hot girl than a friend giving me a$100.

I said fair amount to live. You are taking this out of proportion to the point it implies you can't feed your kids or worry about feeding them. I never said that.

Sorry, I didn't notice it. Yeah, if you have a fair amount of money that's all you need although I can't distinguish how much is a fair bit, good amount and huge amount. You still need money for happiness though (for bills and so on) this life won't get away easily without them.

Well off means that you have a plasma TV and so on. That's well off.

I have an antique from early 1980's does it count too?

honestrosewater
Gold Member
I have a Stoicism-inspired take: distinguish between things that are within your control and things that are not, and try not to let your happiness depend on things that aren't within your control.

Jason,
Have you ever read this poem, My Mind to Me a Kingdom Is? I think you might enjoy it.

chroot
Staff Emeritus
Gold Member
I find happiness in many places. I've always been a very accomplishment-driven, goal-setting type of person, and achieving my goals is a dominant component of my happiness.

Some of my goals do involve personal wealth and financial freedom, while many others do not. Here are some of my goals right now, in order of "immediacy:"

1) Train hard for http://www.aidslifecycle.org/1353/ [Broken], raise more than the minimum amount of donations, and be in good enough physical shape to thoroughly enjoy every mile.

2) Make sure my girlfriend, whom I love dearly, has what she needs to succeed in her schoolwork and graduate with good grades.

4) Save a reasonable amount of money each month for a down-payment for a house.

5) Continue to do my best at work, learn as much as I can, and help make others' work easier.

Goal #4 obviously directly involves money, while Goal #2 indirectly involves money. The rest are independent of money.

I honestly get enough reward just enjoying the sunlight out on my bike to keep me quite happy. Now, if only it would stop raining...

- Warren

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chroot
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heartless said:
I have an antique from early 1980's does it count too?

That's funny. I make a pretty significant amount of money, yet I still use the tiny 21-inch television I bought for my dorm room in my freshman year of college. I'm the only engineer I know who doesn't have a 50-inch widescreen TV or a \$25,000 stereo. I figure that if I had an expensive television, I'd be motivated to watch it -- and I'd rather do something more valuable with my time.

- Warren

chroot
Staff Emeritus
Gold Member
BTW, my definition of "financial happiness" is simply to have enough money in the bank that you're not worried about month-to-month bills. Nothing is more difficult than biting your nails because you floated a check, knowing full well you won't be paid until the day after the recipient gets the check... or having to decide which bill(s) simply won't get paid that month.

I say, if you have enough cash flow to manage month-to-month expenses without fear, you're in good financial shape. I know the vast majority of people (in this country, anyway) aren't there yet; I've only recently gotten to the top of that mountain myself.

- Warren

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chroot said:
I say, if you have enough cash flow to manage month-to-month expenses without fear, you're in good financial shape. I know the vast majority of people (in this country, anyway) aren't there yet; I've only recently gotten to the top of that mountain myself.

- Warren

I believe most people aren't there yet because they choose not to be. They choose to buy more and more stuff, which causes more and more bills. Also, I noticed people lack any decent management of wealth. They spend on meaningless things rather than things off.

Astronuc
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