Why do you not sit next to people on their own?

  • #1
120
2
So I was at my new uni, its fresher's week and I didnt know anyone. so I thought, why not sit on my own in a relatively conspicuous place and wait for other lonely people to sit next to me and talk to me! So I did. and I ate two satsumas while I waited.... and waited. Lots of people walked past and some looked at me, but none of them sat down or tried to talk to me! WHY???? I'm sure lots of them were on their own and didnt know anyone?

and today I did the same, and one annoying and very arrogant 5th year medic sat and babbled some stuff at me - didnt try to talk to me or make conversation, just talked at me about his friends. who were also annoying and presumptious - one of them greeted me in Japanese... uh I'm not Japanese! why dont I just speak to you in a random foreign language and expect you to be happy about that! dumbass.

Anyway, rant over. and as Pengy would say...

DISCUSS!!!!!
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
Pengwuino
Gold Member
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16
Don't steal my line.

Also, what? I was always taught never to speak to strangers. You might murder me with your death fruit.

Closing thoughts: Really? How often do people randomly sit and talk to strangers unless they're trying to pick them up for hawt fish sex?
 
  • #3
120
2
I quoted you!
 
  • #5
412
2
People in class talk when assignments' deadlines are near.
 
  • #6
lisab
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
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So I was at my new uni, its fresher's week and I didnt know anyone. so I thought, why not sit on my own in a relatively conspicuous place and wait for other lonely people to sit next to me and talk to me! So I did. and I ate two satsumas while I waited.... and waited. Lots of people walked past and some looked at me, but none of them sat down or tried to talk to me! WHY???? I'm sure lots of them were on their own and didnt know anyone?

and today I did the same, and one annoying and very arrogant 5th year medic sat and babbled some stuff at me - didnt try to talk to me or make conversation, just talked at me about his friends. who were also annoying and presumptious - one of them greeted me in Japanese... uh I'm not Japanese! why dont I just speak to you in a random foreign language and expect you to be happy about that! dumbass.

Anyway, rant over. and as Pengy would say...

DISCUSS!!!!!

Maybe you should be the one joining a person sitting alone.
 
  • #7
120
2
sub-tangent... sorry, just must get it off my chest!
I went to the fresher's fair today and there was a DJ society... and OMG...
these guys were amazing!!!! like I'm sorry physicists, but you might have been outdone!!
Can you imagine? Real-life engineers and science guys mashed up with tech prowess and an attitude of creativity, all wrapped up in polite gentlemanliness!!!
..... wow.
 
  • #8
120
2
Maybe you should be the one joining a person sitting alone.

I do! But there are not as many people sitting alone as you might think - this morning, after being kept awake all night, I went to the canteen to get breakfast. and I looked around, there was literally one person sitting by themselves who didnt look like a professor... and I didnt want to sit next to a professor in case they thought I had ulterior motives! so I went to sit next to this guy, and we talked and went to the museum together! and it was great! I guess I didnt sit alone for enough time, or in a conspicuous enough place... must try harder.
 
  • #9
DaveC426913
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Last edited by a moderator:
  • #10
256bits
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At the airport one time a while back in the preboarding lounge there was a hot chick sitting all alone, while all the other people were huddled in a far off corner ( so it seemed ). Rather than huddle, I sat next to her and we conversed. Turns out she was in town with her drummer boyfriend from Pat Benatar's band and flying back to New York. She offered tickets to the concert and insert into the after concert party and who would be there none other than Robin Williams. Unfortunately I made a bad choice and boarded the plane and missed out on all the fun. She was wearing some kind of leapard pants by the way, so I guess that was somewhat California style of fashion . Anyways you never know who you will meet if and when you try.

So that is where I got the idea ( from looking at the huddling mass ) that most young guys, or girls, will not approach a lone individual on the off chance they may be rejected.
Probably not applicable in your case but in others no doubt.
 
  • #12
333
0
i'm one of the people who sit alone, always sit on the edge so there can only be one person next to me
 
  • #13
197
1
Why don't you try starting the conversation? I sit on my own in the front of the class and I am too shy to talk to people. It is not until someone starts a conversation with me that I start to talk. I try not to let the conversation die so I can let them know I am still interested in interacting with them.
 
  • #14
People approach me and talk to me while I am on my own fairly frequently. I find it annoying most of the time.


She was wearing some kind of leapard pants by the way, so I guess that was somewhat California style of fashion.

That seems more like Jersey fashion sense. I live in California and rarely see leopard print. Though there is a very attractive young lady that goes to my favourite bar who has a leopard print tattoo and is named Sheena (I thought that was cute).
 
  • #15
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Go sit and talk to a girl all by herself? I have tried this fairly recently. I walked over and said "mind if I join you?". Almost sat down and before another word left my mouth I got a "I have a boyfriend" and she got up and left (by the way that was not my intention)!

Will be some quite time before I try that again... sigh...
 
  • #16
256bits
Gold Member
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"I have a boyfriend" and she got up and left (by the way that was not my intention)!

There must be something wrong with you internet connection because it cut off the part most interesting.

"I have a boyfriend" and she got up and left me her telephone number. Turning her head slightly she coyly murmured " Call me sometime. Soon." (by the way that was not my intention)
 
  • #17
187
1
Is it a common practice for people to talk to people they don't know? Maybe I'm just anti-social, but when I'm sitting by myself, it's a fear of mine that somebody will come over and try to talk to me. I always assumed it was a completely irrational fear, because it pretty much never happens. Should I be worried?
 
  • #18
FlexGunship
Gold Member
399
8
so I thought, why not sit on my own in a relatively conspicuous place and wait for other lonely people to sit next to me and talk to me! So I did. and I ate two satsumas while I waited.... and waited.

Why did no one sit with you? For the same reason you didn't go sit with anyone else.

That being said, I'm exactly the type to randomly sit down with someone (especially a pretty girl) for no good reason. Everyone on Earth is fascinating in some way, it can be fun (if not challenging) to tease that side of them out.

Me: "Hello."
Stranger: "Oh, hi."
Me: "I find it fascinating that we can tell the direction of a sound simply by the relative difference in the time that the sound reaches each of our ears."
Stranger: "I enjoy sandwiches."
 
  • #19
256bits
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Is it a common practice for people to talk to people they don't know? Maybe I'm just anti-social, but when I'm sitting by myself, it's a fear of mine that somebody will come over and try to talk to me. I always assumed it was a completely irrational fear, because it pretty much never happens. Should I be worried?

I bet that type of anxiety affects quite a fair number of people. A lot of people just do not want to be disturbed from their own little space around them and some stranger coming up destroys the serenity they were in. Somehow I think it similar to the fear where one is being singled out from the crowd, such as being picked in class to answer a question. Sure it is irrational, and if carried to the extreme where the fear takes over your life, than you would have a problem.
Maybe it is not so irrational after all, but an evolutioanry carry over from cave man times of the "fight or flight" syndrome. After all, how could Mr. Caveman know whether or not the approaching caveman was coming over to inquire of directions to the watering hole or to club him over the head. So the anxiety fear factor kicks in to say " Be aware."
 
  • #20
63
0
So I was at my new uni, its fresher's week and I didnt know anyone. so I thought, why not sit on my own in a relatively conspicuous place and wait for other lonely people to sit next to me and talk to me! So I did. and I ate two satsumas while I waited.... and waited. Lots of people walked past and some looked at me, but none of them sat down or tried to talk to me! WHY???? I'm sure lots of them were on their own and didnt know anyone?

and today I did the same, and one annoying and very arrogant 5th year medic sat and babbled some stuff at me - didnt try to talk to me or make conversation, just talked at me about his friends. who were also annoying and presumptious - one of them greeted me in Japanese... uh I'm not Japanese! why dont I just speak to you in a random foreign language and expect you to be happy about that! dumbass.

Anyway, rant over. and as Pengy would say...

DISCUSS!!!!!

I normally don't talk to people sitting alone because of lack of familiarity. I always have nagging doubts about stuff being awkward.
 
  • #21
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3,297
I am extremely uncomfortable around strangers and I never know how to behave. I will never approach a stranger and talk to him. I would not like a stranger approaching me and talking to me.

I am comfortable in positions when people know what to expect from me, though. For example, I can teach strangers very well and I seem to be very sociable when I do so. But when there is no fixed role for me, then I freak out.
 
  • #22
Math Is Hard
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She was wearing some kind of leapard pants by the way, so I guess that was somewhat California style of fashion .
Yep! I have those!
 
  • #23
DaveC426913
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Yep! I have those!
You know better than to make an unfounded assertion.

Evidence please.
 
  • #24
fluidistic
Gold Member
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Personally I'd be ashamed to sit close to a woman when I have the option not to (I feel like that would mean I somehow like how she looks and that's shameful). On the other hand if a man is sat there, I wouldn't mind at all sitting next to him.
That might explain why I never had and still don't have any female friend while I'm much comfortable talking to men and hence the sex of my friends.
 
  • #25
Pyrrhus
Homework Helper
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Everyone seems to shy in this thread.

I chat up people all the time, especially women. It is always interesting, and of course sometimes they just want be left alone and that's ok!.
 

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