Why do you not sit next to people on their own?

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SUMMARY

The discussion centers on the social dynamics of sitting alone in public spaces, particularly during university fresher's week. Participants share personal experiences of attempting to engage with strangers while sitting alone, highlighting the challenges of initiating conversations and the fear of rejection. Key points include the observation that many individuals prefer not to approach others due to social anxiety and the expectation of awkwardness. The conversation also touches on the irony of desiring interaction while simultaneously feeling uncomfortable when it occurs.

PREREQUISITES
  • Understanding of social anxiety and its effects on interpersonal communication.
  • Familiarity with university culture and the dynamics of fresher's week.
  • Knowledge of non-verbal cues and their role in initiating conversations.
  • Awareness of the psychological factors influencing social interactions, such as fear of rejection.
NEXT STEPS
  • Research techniques for overcoming social anxiety in public settings.
  • Explore strategies for initiating conversations with strangers effectively.
  • Study the impact of body language on social interactions.
  • Investigate the role of cultural differences in communication styles among university students.
USEFUL FOR

This discussion is beneficial for university students, social psychologists, and anyone interested in improving their social skills and understanding the complexities of human interaction in public spaces.

  • #61
nucleargirl said:
ok, so I'm living in halls now, and most people stay in their rooms in the evening. the ones in the common room are either watching football or playing a drinking game. I want to do neither but I want to talk to people! Is it too weird to knock on random people's doors and talk to them that way?

Umm, what do you mean by "I'm living in halls now"?
 
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  • #62
Drakkith said:
Umm, what do you mean by "I'm living in halls now"?

A dorm.

i.e. she's knocking on the doors of fellow dormers, not wandering the dark streets, knocking on the doors of the homes of complete strangers.
 
  • #63
lol! I am living in student accommodation with like 300 other students!
I tried knocking on people's doors today... 3 in fact, and none of them were in!
It is easier to meet people on facebook...
anyway, I can't be bothered now. term's begun, I've got too much work, and yeah.
 
  • #64
Ha, looks like I was dead right about you, if you recall our little exchange. Just so you know I have a girlfriend and she makes me dinner every weekend, and she's great. :approve:

But on the whole topic of sitting next to strangers - why would I? If I have some reason to talk to someone - they're in a class of mine, we're in the same club, or share some common thread, then sure why not - but a total stranger? Just another human who's consuming resources and bringing up the cost of oil as far as I'm concerned, and I have zero interest in meeting random people.
 
  • #65
DaveC426913 said:
A dorm.

i.e. she's knocking on the doors of fellow dormers, not wandering the dark streets, knocking on the doors of the homes of complete strangers.

I'm assuming she has a dorm room and isn't literally living in the halls right?

Nucleargirl, I can tell you exactly why people don't sit next to you. It's because they don't WANT to. The reasons why are varied, but most probably don't enjoy attempting to sit next to a complete stranger and striking up conversation, and to many you simply aren't part of their "bubble" of things they care about.
 
  • #66
Why would they not want to?! ha. impossible :p

ok, I guess yeah, in a normal situation people don't randomly talk to strangers. But I was originally referring to a fresher's week on campus kind of situation! when and where it is the thing to do to meet new people! so I was surprised that people ignored others who were by themselves. But yeah, I guess it all boils down to the same thing.

well, I am actually trying a new thing now. it is called - being independent, and I don't need you to talk to me! I am so badass you'll want to talk to me and I will ignore YOU!
anyway... it seems to be working.
 
  • #67
pergradus said:
Ha, looks like I was dead right about you, if you recall our little exchange. Just so you know I have a girlfriend and she makes me dinner every weekend, and she's great. :approve:

But on the whole topic of sitting next to strangers - why would I? If I have some reason to talk to someone - they're in a class of mine, we're in the same club, or share some common thread, then sure why not - but a total stranger? Just another human who's consuming resources and bringing up the cost of oil as far as I'm concerned, and I have zero interest in meeting random people.

lol! what conversation?? I am very good at forgetting.

I love how you had to preface it all with your girlfriend situation! lol is that how it is now!
 
  • #68
ah... I remember now :p come on! get over it!
 

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