My dream is too distant from the reality, I don't know what to do.

[Tangeton]

I want to become a mechanical engineer.

Im not good at any sciences or mathematical subjects.

I got E in physics and maths AS level (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A-level), D in computing, B in philosophy.

The humanity is the only subject I am good at but even thought I enjoy listening it the most, nothing makes me as happy as getting a maths question or a physics question right. I want to do science degree because I can't do maths or physics. I am crying even know because throughout my whole a levels I am and will be at the bottom of my classes and will be the one with the least understanding and probably will end with a U. I can't imagine myself writing up more assessments, essays or writing a lot any more than I am doing now in Philosophy and even now its just too much. I don't want to do any job as to what undergraduates usually go to after humanities, I am not interested. And if I continue with art everyone will think I am stupid which I am anyway but even if i do change to a design path now I will just consider myself as someone who can never go through with their choices in life. It is that I gave up on academic success all the way together and I don't want to do that I want to be smart but i just can't I am just really dumb. I know that I would do better in humanities but I really don't want to I want to understand how the world works on maths and physics to its fullest but I can't because i will never get the grades or the knowledge that I need because i just don't understand anything.

I tried my hardest throughout the year it wasnt that I slacked at all I see people who socialise smoke weed and take drugs and they get better grades than me its just making me so sad that i can't do anything right I am just a failure even though i never even got drunk or tipsy or into the wrong group.

Im now doing A2 but there is just no point in doing it anymore I will fail just like last year and I will never get to uni. Ill just get a job after and end up like my parents my dad is an alcoholic and my mum work 12 hours per day to pay off the family debt as a cleaner and baby sitter whilist my dad thinks she's a slut and prostitute and calls her all these names and I have to live with him because my mom doesn't have enough to move out he just lost his job and wants to become a manager and thinks he is intelligent and will get it but his dumb but I am more dumb

but anyway my point is should i just keep on going and cry in lessons and in library when no one is looking in my A2 to continue at least going on the path to being a mechanical engineer or just quit school all together and get a job as a cleaner and baby sitter and help my pay off the debt i just can't look at her anymore doing all this I got 500 for my bday in total and she had to take it away now to pay house rent in the house she aint even living in anymore because my dad lost his job and its just so hard on her i want to help her...

 

[Rocket50]

:(

On the bright side of things, I know many people who did terrible in high school and started excelling in university. The main reason for that change was the change in environment and different teaching styles.

 

[DabblingMathmo]

Have you considered the possibility of a more vocational engineering course?

For example - I know someone who did some sort of vocational qualification equivalent to A-levels in aeronaughtical engineering
(I think it was this course, will have to verify with him http://www.ncl-coll.ac.uk/courses/3421/btec-level-3-diploma-in-aeronautical-engineering and http://www.ncl-coll.ac.uk/world-class-facilities/aviation-academy) who had previously struggled in a sixth-form environment who excelled in the more vocational, hands on setting and actually ended up using it to get an unconditional offer in a Russel Group university engineering programme. Apparently a fair amount of the graduates got interesting technician jobs in relevant sectors and the ones who had done really well took it to the next level at university.

Big companies often have good apprenticeship programmes in engineering related roles, too.

 

[AlephZero]

Your first hard choice is whether to limit your own life choices trying to patch up your dysfunctional parents' lives, or cut loose from them. Obviously to cut loose you need a job, but it doesn't have to be cleaning and babysitting. Aim for something with regular working hours so you develop a routine in your own life, and an employer that is credible enough to give you a reference when you move on. It doesn't sound like your family is going to give you much financial support, either way.

There's is no point dreaming about university degree course with the grades you are getting right now. But there's no reason you can't fix that over the next 5 of 10 years at a further education college (similar to US community college).

Organizations like https://www.princes-trust.org.uk/ might help you get your life sorted out.

 

[AlephZero]

Big companies often have good apprenticeship programmes in engineering related roles, too.

That is true, but bear in mind that the best known ones (with natiional companies) have more applicants per place than some degree courses at Oxford and Cambridge.

Companies in the UK are increasingly doing outreach work in schools with kids as young as 14, so they have already identifed the "best" would-be apprentices before they reach school-leaving age.

 

[DEvens]

Sometimes the problem is the textbook. I don't know what your financial situation is. Maybe you can't afford a lot of new textbooks. Try getting a new text for those subjects you like but do poorly at. One of the series of texts that helped me a lot was the Schaum's outline series. They are cheap. They teach using problems. They have a huge number of worked problems, then a bunch of homework probs. Just don't let it be your last text on the subject because they are pretty much never complete. Check your local version of amazon. Google up the discount book sellers in your local.

Sometimes it's a maturity thing. The distractions of youth can be severe. Friends who do drugs and party? Pause the friends? Get new friends? Is there a group of people near you who are big into science and math?

Sometimes it's an aptitude thing. Not everybody is cut out to do any particular job. That philosophy course is your high mark. Is that a possible life's work for you? Are you interested in the philosophy of science maybe? How are you at other non-math academic subjects? History for example.

 

[ilii]

Dear OP,

Forget about the others who drink, party, and do drugs - you have already proven yourself to be a great person by not falling into those traps

Don't think of grades as being a reflection of intelligence - you may have poor study habits, motivational issues, real life distractions, etc.

Exercise helps clear your mind and reduce anxiety

Are you a gamer? how about extracurricular activities? you may have to make sacrifices if these things are interfering with study

If you have a parent that drinks, try to stay positive and avoid confrontation at all times

If you nothing else works and you become more depressed about it, consider taking a year off school to clear your mind and think things over - it may be one of the best decisions you ever make

You may be surprised at how many people find themselves in a situation similar to yours ;)