Navigating Social Interactions as an INTJ Engineering Major

[Null_]

I have heard that social skills are very important. (I'm an engineering major.)

What kind of social skills, specifically, are important? I have no problem carrying a conversation with an intelligent person about either a common interest we share or about an idea. This ranges from engineering to guitars.

However, I have absolutely no intuition about interacting with someone who either doesn't understand what I'm saying or I honestly don't care what they're talking about.

If it's the first, I guess I'm good. If it's the latter, am I just supposed to fake an interest in their subject, even if it is (commonly) something like shopping?

[My Meyers-Briggs is INTJ.]

 

[jtbell]

The most important social skill is the ability to work in a group of people without making them want to strangle you.

 

[I like Serena]

The most important social skill is the ability to work in a group of people without making them want to strangle you.

True!
(I couldn't have said it any better.)

While majoring it won't matter all that much. It suffices if you pass your exams.
But when you get into a job, you really need that people will want to work with you.
Otherwise all the intelligence and knowledge you might have gathered becomes worthless.

 

[DrummingAtom]

The most important social skill is the ability to work in a group of people without making them want to strangle you.

LOL. Agreed.

I'm an introvert too and don't like to small talk at all. I like to talk about ideas. When someone is talking about nonsense I usually try to come up with the aspect of the topic that would interest me. For instance, shopping, I would try to steer the conversation to why they place certain products in certain areas of the store. Milk is the farthest away from the entrance to force people to go through the entire store increasing their chance of purchasing something else, etc. But this needs to be handled delicately in my opinion. If you just say these things as facts, people might get the impression that you're a "know-it-all." And we know how much people love know-it-alls. I usually bring up my thoughts as questions so it stays neutral.

Another thing I have found out is that some people have very boring interests (initially, to me). But after I talk about why they like something then I begin to understand. Some topics that I would never ever learn on my own are actually intriguing after these discussions. Things like advertising, design, clothes, business and sales.

Mostly though, as jtbell mentioned, be able to work with others. I would also add, be able to communicate ideas effectively whether it's writing or speaking. I'm not an engineer or in the science fields yet but I have had several "real" jobs and these things are crucial in a work setting. There's nothing worse than getting a confusing email from a coworker or boss. Or sitting in a 2 hour meeting listening to someone that loves to hear themselves talk or can't stay on topic.

Good luck.

 

[turbo]

@OP: you're getting some very good advice here. I worked in an industry in which engineers were well-paid, and some of them assumed an air of superiority over the chemists (like myself) that had to show them the ropes so they could come up to speed, and the technicians that were responsible for the testing, calibration, etc that supported their engineering projects. Don't insult the people that had to help you get familiar with a mill. That was not smart on their part. Yes, they got cooperation and support from the people that they treated like "underlings", but hardly the enthusiastic support, extra effort, and brain-storming that engineers with some social skills could get. As an experienced process chemist, I got paired up regularly with two of those losers over the years in that pulp mill. Both were social-climbing suck-ups who spent very little time developing decent relationships with the "underlings" assigned to their research projects.

My closest friend in that mill was a Chemical Engineer - the director of the Technical Department that I worked in. He and I shared interests in farming, timber-growth, wood-harvesting, and many other things. My wife and I rented a farmhouse on 300+ acres from him, and occupied it while he and his retired father and father-in-law rebuilt the barn, outbuildings, etc, and prepared to remodel the house. My wife wouldn't let them eat sandwiches out in the cold, sitting in their vehicles. She'd make hearty stews with biscuits and make sure they got warm in our kitchen. When I wasn't cutting firewood off the property (gratis) and splitting and stacking it, I'd be crawling around under the barn, helping to replace sills and repair the stone foundation, or jacking up an old milk-parlor to move and convert to a garage.

My second-closest friend was the production manager of the paper mill. He was parachuted in in the midst of a fractious strike. I was by that time the lead operator on the new paper machine, and was representing my department in the labor negotiations. The new production manager and I had lots of conferences in the hall-way by the coffee machine, and we hammered out many of the sticking points without the company negotiators or the union negotiators present to screw things up. As long as I worked on that paper machine, we were pretty regular companions on white-water canoe and kayak trips. He got to be a hero with the company for stopping that strike with non-financial concessions, and I got a friend at the top of the paper division who would bounce ideas off me, and who would listen when I contacted him with concerns about the way company policies were implemented.

Cooperation is WAY better than confrontation in the workplace, especially if you have aspirations to transition to management. Burn no bridges - build them.

 

[Null_]

Thanks for the input everyone; it's really insightful. :)

Turbo-1, your story is inspiring. I act in a similar manner...I am generally friendly to everyone even in small talk but really only have a few close friends.