- #101
Bandersnatch
Science Advisor
- 3,580
- 3,206
That was fun to read.
I know it might seem a bit overlong for a casual bookworm, but the key is to imagine it being a hip-hop song.
There's a strongly-defined rythm, you see, with the perpetrator repeating the same arguments in nice, regular intervals. He's the chorus here, providing emotionally punctuated counterpoints to other members' rapping their souls away.
Story-wise, the protagonist is the martial hero reaffirming his resolve over and over again, like Leonidas choosing to defend his doomed position despite insurmountable odds.
The Persians attack in billions upon billions of stanzas, with frontal assaults and sneaky attacks to the rear. Their name is legion and though they have no pity they try to seduce the hero away from his post.
The general structure of the lyrics is interesting too, with a strong beginning setting up the stakes, very level action throughout the 2/3rds of the running time - toned down as if intentionally refusing to advance the plot. Then there's an elated, almost climactic development around page #10, where the protagonist seems to give up under the relentless assault, only to triumphantly return to his duty as the eternal guardian in a surprise twist, somewhere in the vicinity of post #200.
In the closing lines the Persians claim victory, even as the protagonist stands undefeated among the corpses of argumentation.
Of course, it could have been better. The protagonist could have asserted his martyrdom in persecution by the Gilliamesque behemoth of the Establishment. He could have called upon gods of physics to stand by his side and guide his spear-hand. All those would, likely, increase the immediate consummability of the thread, but at the risk of forcing the story to seek premature conclusion.
All in all, a tour de force and a credit to all involved.
Jokes aside, I think this one could have been saved. The huge volume and very short timespan in which the thread reached the conclusion worked against the purpose of education. It takes time to relfect upon what you're told, especially if the beliefs are held very strongly. The amount of responses in such a short time simply turned the defence mechanisms on, forcing the man to blankly repeat his arguments.
Perhaps if the forum members were less eager to correct the errors of his ways, he'd get there. In time.
I know it might seem a bit overlong for a casual bookworm, but the key is to imagine it being a hip-hop song.
There's a strongly-defined rythm, you see, with the perpetrator repeating the same arguments in nice, regular intervals. He's the chorus here, providing emotionally punctuated counterpoints to other members' rapping their souls away.
Story-wise, the protagonist is the martial hero reaffirming his resolve over and over again, like Leonidas choosing to defend his doomed position despite insurmountable odds.
The Persians attack in billions upon billions of stanzas, with frontal assaults and sneaky attacks to the rear. Their name is legion and though they have no pity they try to seduce the hero away from his post.
The general structure of the lyrics is interesting too, with a strong beginning setting up the stakes, very level action throughout the 2/3rds of the running time - toned down as if intentionally refusing to advance the plot. Then there's an elated, almost climactic development around page #10, where the protagonist seems to give up under the relentless assault, only to triumphantly return to his duty as the eternal guardian in a surprise twist, somewhere in the vicinity of post #200.
In the closing lines the Persians claim victory, even as the protagonist stands undefeated among the corpses of argumentation.
Of course, it could have been better. The protagonist could have asserted his martyrdom in persecution by the Gilliamesque behemoth of the Establishment. He could have called upon gods of physics to stand by his side and guide his spear-hand. All those would, likely, increase the immediate consummability of the thread, but at the risk of forcing the story to seek premature conclusion.
All in all, a tour de force and a credit to all involved.
Jokes aside, I think this one could have been saved. The huge volume and very short timespan in which the thread reached the conclusion worked against the purpose of education. It takes time to relfect upon what you're told, especially if the beliefs are held very strongly. The amount of responses in such a short time simply turned the defence mechanisms on, forcing the man to blankly repeat his arguments.
Perhaps if the forum members were less eager to correct the errors of his ways, he'd get there. In time.
