Science Humor: A Wide Selection

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The discussion centers around a variety of science-related humor, showcasing anecdotes, jokes, and humorous theories. A notable story involves a NASA team during the Apollo mission who encountered a Navajo sheep herder, leading to a humorous mistranslation of a message intended for the moon. Another highlight is Chuck Yeager's playful exaggeration about a design flaw in the Bell X-1 aircraft, which he humorously attributed to complex aerodynamics rather than a simple cable routing issue. The thread also features the "Dark Sucker Theory," humorously positing that light bulbs "suck dark" instead of emitting light, and a fictitious element called "administratium," which humorously critiques bureaucracy in science. Various jokes illustrate the intersection of humor and science, such as the classic question about the nature of hell, which leads to a clever thermodynamic analysis. Overall, the content blends clever scientific concepts with humor, appealing to those with an interest in both science and comedy.
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  • #452
Reshma said:


Very funny..lol![/QUOTE]

Haha! Took me a couple of seconds to get the second one.
 
  • #453
Ivan Seeking said:
How can you tell if an engineer is an extravert?

He looks at your shoes when he talks to you.

please eplain that, do engineers look at our own feet when we talk?
 
  • #454
lazypast said:
please eplain that, do engineers look at our own feet when we talk?

People who are shy often do, and the joke plays to this stereotype for engineers.
 
  • #455
Integral said:
After that last one it is open season.

See if you can find one worse then this:

To celebrate Halloween, all the math teachers and professors got together for a big costume party. Each dressed up as their favorite math function. One particularly mean and eccentric math professor dressed up as the derivative. He ran up to the teacher dressed as cos(x) and yelled "I derive you!" The teacher tore off his costume and scurried off looking for a -sin(x) costume. The prof ran up to another teacher who was dressed as 4x^5 and yelled "I derive you!" The teacher tore off his costume and went scurrying off, looking for a 20x^4 costume. The prof ran up to a 3rd teacher and screamed "I derive you!" The teacher just stood there with his arms crossed. "Didn't you hear me?! I DERIVE YOU!" he shouted. Again, the teacher stood there, but with a smug expression on his face. "I derive you! I derive you! I derive you!" the professor shouted while jumping up and down. The teacher looked at him and said "derive me all you want. I'm e^x."

I don't get the punch line
 
  • #456
Wild Angel said:
I don't get the punch line
The derivative of e^x is e^x, so the teacher wasn't changed by the mean professor. (or did I take you too seriously?)
 
  • #457
jimmysnyder said:
The derivative of e^x is e^x, so the teacher wasn't changed by the mean professor. (or did I take you too seriously?)

No..I really didnt understand the punchline .Thanks:smile:
 
  • #458
Q: What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a hiker?

A: You can't. A mosquito is a vector, and a hiker is a scalar.
 
  • #459
"..mass and energy are like two sides of the same coin: the cosmic teller isn't worried about which side is face-up on his counter..."

or "mass is the get-out-of-jail card for energy when it wants to escape and go somewhere, but it has to leave the card behind, and it gets re-captured eventually"
 
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  • #460
James Bond

An evil scientist has James Bond strapped down to a large rotating disc (in classic fashion).

Evil Scientist: Mr. Bond, this disc will begin rotating and the arising centrifugal force will crush every bone in your body!

Bond: Centrifugal force is simply a myth taught by overzealous science teachers. It does not exist.

Evil Scientist: On the contrary Mr. Bond, with a simple change in the coordinate system and the inertial reference frame, the centrifugal force will exist.

Bond: Well do you expect me to do coordinate system calculations in my head while strapped to a giant disc!?

Evil Scientist: No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!
 
  • #461
Ryo124 said:
An evil scientist has James Bond strapped down to a large rotating disc (in classic fashion).

Evil Scientist: Mr. Bond, this disc will begin rotating and the arising centrifugal force will crush every bone in your body!

Bond: Centrifugal force is simply a myth taught by overzealous science teachers. It does not exist.

Evil Scientist: On the contrary Mr. Bond, with a simple change in the coordinate system and the inertial reference frame, the centrifugal force will exist.

Bond: Well do you expect me to do coordinate system calculations in my head while strapped to a giant disc!?

Evil Scientist: No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!

lol! Reminds me of the batman cartoons =]
 
  • #462
BigRedDot said:
Two neutrinos go through a bar...
motai said:
...and as they walked into the bar they were ignored by all of the other particles. Finally a bartender neutron stumbled upon them and said "hey 'lil dudes, up for some punch?" "Ill show you some punch!" the little neutrino said. Little neutrino got so pissed off at the service of the bar that it smashed into the neutron, causing it to collapse into protons and electrons.

A riot broke out until a rogue neutron hit a uranium atom, causing the entire bar to explode in a gigantic fireball.

Wow. That's really funny. http://www.turboconnection.com/pics/smilies/ummslow.gif
 
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  • #464
Make my day...

customer: "Is that the helpdesk? Yeah my mouse isn't working, it's right at the edge of the desk and I can't move it any further, what should I do?"

helpdesk: "Have you tried switching your PC off and on a few times at the wall? Or formatting the hard drive? See if that helps...('chortle')"
 
  • #466
While working on a CAT scanner [and while still quite young] I was called into the photo lab to view an x-ray of a certain uniquely male appendage with a broken bone inside! It seemed that the poor guy got a little carried away and actually broke his bone, bone. I really couldn’t believe what I was seeing, but there was the x-ray on the lightboard and a couple of techs and a radiologist were telling me the story, so I didn’t know what to think. This was most surprising and perplexing! I found it very hard to believe that I had never heard about this bone before.

Take Play-Doh and mold it around a broken chicken bone and into the appropriate shape. X-ray; show to new students and techs.
 
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  • #467
The truth about what?

There is such a thing as 'truth': it refers to "an objective ontological state of affairs".

If you never look for the truth, how can you really know what is true and what is not?
We realize that the truth, is "just the innate duty" to seek an "answer", which is 'usually' the truth.
However, we quickly realize that sometimes ignorance is bliss, and we can live with a 'little' truth.
Is there a 'truthful' way to define truth? Is the only truth that truth cannot 'be' defined? Or is it the truth that there are 'several ways' to define truth?
Are any of these statements 'not' true?
It is not true that only 'some' things are true; it's that truth can only be applied 'sparingly'. There is no 'claim' that a perspective 'qualifies' as true, merely that perspectives 'exist'.
Who is driving 'pursuit' of the truth?

A 'little old lady' from Pasadena.

(--collated from posts by 'philosophers' here at GD Philosophy thread physicsforum.com)
 
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  • #469
Not a joke, but a "mind-boggler":

Three brothers go to a restaurant, have a meal and get the bill.

The bill is $25, so with no even change, the brothers hand the waiter $10 each.

The waiter gives each brother $1 back, and keeps $2 for himself.

So each brother payed $9 ($27), and the waiter kept $2, where is the extra dollar?
 
  • #470
Wild Angel said:
Try this website for some really funny jokes. http://www.telepk.com/jokes/

I went to this website and right away my virus scanner popped up with a mention of a virus/malware in my temporary internet files folder. Coincidence, maybe, maybe not.
 
  • #471
Originally Posted by Some stonking great ninny

'This therefore is the root of your problem. Your "therefore" is unjustified because you supply a definition of "It" which does not in fact accurately describe "It"... make this clear from the first inclusion of any such term.'
 
  • #472
Here is a good one.

http://dura.cell.free.fr/home/images/maths.jpg
 
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  • #473
I'm guessing most everyone has seen this, but in case not:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/scientists_create_largest_novelty_atom
 
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  • #474
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  • #475
Sorry I haven't read them all and if someone has already said this one I apologise.

What do you call a joke involving Cobalt, Radon and Yttrium?

CoRnY
 
  • #476
I love xkcd.com.

Great science and math comics.
 
  • #477
I am sure that someone already posted this one but I got this one:

Two atoms meet and have a talk:
Atom1: Hey, how are you doing?
Atom2: Well not so good, I think I lost an electron.
Atom1: Are you sure?
Atom2: Positive!
 
  • #478
Binary Sudoku
 

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  • #479
Tachyonie said:
I am sure that someone already posted this one but I got this one:

Two atoms meet and have a talk:
Atom1: Hey, how are you doing?
Atom2: Well not so good, I think I lost an electron.
Atom1: Are you sure?
Atom2: I'm Positive!
10 chars
 
  • #480
http://halowiki.ontoprise.de/halowiki/index.php/Helicase#Pop_Culture" a microbiologist pickup line:

“If I were an enzyme, I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.”
 
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  • #481
From the http://www.limerickdb.com/?43" :
There was a young fencer named Fisk
Whose swordplay was agile and brisk.
So fast was his action,
The Lorentz contraction
Diminished his sword to a disk.
 
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  • #482
World's shortest math joke:

Take epsilon < 0...
 
  • #483
nicksauce said:
World's shortest math joke:

Take epsilon < 0...

:confused:
 
  • #484
Bobg's TBD acronym joke reminded me of this old one:

A: I'd like to hear your opinion of my new theory.
B: It's not very good.
A: No matter, I'd like to hear it anyway.
 
  • Haha
Likes Demystifier
  • #485
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, 'I'll have a Geologist monkey please.' The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, 'That'll be $5000.' The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, 'That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?' The Shopkeeper answered, 'Ah, that monkey is a GIT - geologist in training - it can lick rocks and tell you the exact mineralogy, well worth the money.' The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. 'That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?' 'Oh, that one's a P.Geo - a professional geologist - is can log drill holes, update and construct geological models, they are experts in igneous and metamorphic petrology and petrography, hydrogeology, sedimentolgoy and structural geology. SOME can even do basic calculations. All the really useful stuff,' said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, 'That one costs more than all the others put together! What on Earth does it do?'
The shopkeeper replied, 'Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's an Engineer.'
 
  • Like
Likes CynicusRex
  • #486
Not really a science joke but a logic joke.

Sign on an esculator:- "Dogs must be carried".

Smeone with IQ 140+ thinks "What if you haven't got a dog"?
 
  • #487
What did the lion do to the particle physicist?

Lepton him.
 
  • #488
mbrmbrg said:
:confused:

Only thing that comes to mind is limits
 
  • #489
many many people said:
There are 10 types of people in the world - those who can understand binary, and those who can't.
I've got another one like that:

There are 10 types of peolpe in the world - those who undersand ternary, those who don't, and those who mistake it for binary.
 
  • #490
Ivan, I read your post a very long time ago, and just re-read it. I've owed you this for a while: :smile: :smile: :smile:
 
  • #491
Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.
Proof Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.
Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows, Power = Work/Time.
Since Knowledge = Power, and Time = Money, we get;
Knowledge = Work/Money
Solving for money, we find

Money = Work/Knowledge

The greater your knowledge, the more work you have to do for your money. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.

Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make.*

Ivan seeking said:
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, 'I'll have a Geologist monkey please.' The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey. He fitted a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, 'That'll be $5000.' The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.

Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, 'That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only few hundred dollars. Why did that one cost so much?' The Shopkeeper answered, 'Ah, that monkey is a GIT - geologist in training - it can lick rocks and tell you the exact mineralogy, well worth the money.' The tourist looked at a monkey in another cage. 'That one's even more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?' 'Oh, that one's a P.Geo - a professional geologist - is can log drill holes, update and construct geological models, they are experts in igneous and metamorphic petrology and petrography, hydrogeology, sedimentolgoy and structural geology. SOME can even do basic calculations. All the really useful stuff,' said the shopkeeper.

The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, 'That one costs more than all the others put together! What on Earth does it do?'
The shopkeeper replied, 'Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but it says it's an Engineer.'
:smile::smile:
Wow! I can't believe that I missed this 1!
 
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  • #492
Ryo124 said:
Not a joke, but a "mind-boggler":

Three brothers go to a restaurant, have a meal and get the bill.

The bill is $25, so with no even change, the brothers hand the waiter $10 each.

The waiter gives each brother $1 back, and keeps $2 for himself.

So each brother payed $9 ($27), and the waiter kept $2, where is the extra dollar?

What extra dollar? The waiter is taking the excess, i.e. $27 - $25 = $2

nothing is missing, Is this mind boggling?
 
  • #494
Brad_Ad23 said:
Think about it. 80p. Eighty-p. eighdy-p. A-D-P.

Rofl, i was sitting here thinking how in the world 80 phosphorus what? now i get it... that's just... no :( made me feel stupid, lol
 
  • #495
nicksauce said:
World's shortest math joke:

Take epsilon < 0...

My analysis professor said one similar to this. "Let epsilon be large and negative..."
 
  • #496
  • #498
Q: What's the difference between an Einstein ring and a Dumbbell nebula?
A: The Dumbbell nebula is dimmer.
 
  • #499
One atom walks up to another atom and says
"Dude I think I lost an electron"
the other atom replies
"Are you sure?"
he says
"Yes, I am positive"
 
  • #500
kuengb said:
Shortest mathematics joke:
\varepsilon &lt; 0
with the even more excessive versions
\varepsilon \ll 0
and
\varepsilon \rightarrow - \infty

[?] :smile: [?] [?] Probably only a few will laugh, but those who do are really worth it!

Best.joke.ever. Can't stop laughing LOL
 

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