A Chemical Analysis Of An Element Called Woman:
Element: woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Weight: Accepted as 118lbs but is known to vary from 100 to 160 lbs
Occurrence: Surplus quantities in all urban areas.
Physical Properties:
1] surface usually covered in painted film,
2] boil at nothing, freeze without reason,
3] melt if given proper treatment,
4] bitter if used incorrectly,
5] found in various states, ranging from virgin metal, to common ore.
Chemical Properties:
1] poses great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stone,
2] able to absorb great quantities of expensive substances,
3] may explode spontaneously if left alone with an opposite species most of them any way,
4] insoluble in liquid but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol,
5] yields to pressure applied to correct points.
Uses:
1] highly ornamental, especially in sports cars,
2] MOST POWERFUL MONEY-REDUCING AGENT known,
3] can be a great aid to relaxation.
Test:
1] pure specimen turns a rosy tint if discovered in a natural state,
2] turns green if placed beside a better specimen,
3] leave the reactants horny for a while,
Caution:
1] highly dangerous except in experienced hand,
2] illegal to possesses more than one except in certain area (Utah,etc)
I hit on about half of those!
