That doesn't make you a nerd. Unless your definition of a nerd is derived from 90's american teenage movies. Everyone can be regraded as nerd. People who are into football? They can be regarded as nerds too. Fantasy football is super "nerdy", especially if you go into all of the statistics behind it. The point is that everyone is nerdy. Everyone who has some sort of a passion is a nerd, and you don't want to date those who don't. Seriously, a nerd is just a term that dumb kids in high school invented.
Nerdiness, here, is basically referring to being into things that most people don't find interesting. What I have in mind is if you took a poll and saw what most people are interested in. Most people don't care that much about science, math, or philosophy. That's the point. What are the kind of lowest common denominator subjects that the man on the street is interested in?
You need to figure out the environments you want to hang out in, and how to present yourself.
I've been thinking about how to present myself since high school, and I have unable to come up with any answers. I just have a disability. I think I am mildly autistic.
For instance, if you're not into sports, you won't go to a sports bar to hang out. Why? Because it's a different kind of nerds who hang out there. Don't expect to strike a conversation with someone at a sports bar in the midst of a football game by saying "I like math". That's not going to work.
Of course not. I wouldn't try that. I don't bring up math for no reason. But, all they want to talk about is football, and I have no clue about football, so there's nothing for us to talk about. So, yes, I won't go there to hang out. The fact that there ARE sports bars tells you something. There are no philosophy bars or biology bars.
Also, I think that people don't want to hear too much about you when you just meet them. That is, if you tell someone you're a mathematician and they ask what it entails, don't start giving them details about the problem you're currently working on. They won't understand it. Explain to them what it generally means to be a mathematician and why you like it. The same way you won't talk about your ex-girlfriend the first time you meet someone. There's a time and a place for everything. If you tell someone that you like math/a mathematician and they look down at you and leave, then they're not worth your effort anyway.
It's not what I say. It's what I don't say. I don't have any good jokes. I don't know about anything that interests people. I have no charisma.
There's a lot of bad TV, but there's also some good stuff on it. You just need to find what you like. I used to not watch TV at all and it never prevented me from fitting in. Now I do watch some shows, but only because I like them, not to fit in.
Well, I have experienced an uncountable number of conversations that I had nothing to contribute to because I don't watch enough TV or movies.
One last tip, drink when you go out. Don't get wasted, but a beer will help you loosen up a little bit. Ever watched Can't Hardly Wait? The nerdy guy drank at the party and became everyone's favorite.
Well, I do drink alcohol on rare occasions, but I have never really been drunk. I really don't think it does anything for me. I am just the same awkward guy who doesn't know what to say.
I have a disability. I accepted long ago that I would never fit in anywhere or be a normal guy. There's just not much hope for me, socially. It's quite separate from being a mathematician. Other math grad students are not socially disabled like me. I don't even fit in among them.
Sorry I derailed the thread from talking about people's aspirations to becoming mathematicians to that. I'm just always a little upset when people complain about being too nerdy and not being able to socialize. To keep the thread on track - I like math and would like to keep doing it for a long time.
On another note, it looks like I am going to quit math (at least academia) because I am too slow at research, and I don't want to deal with student complaints that threaten my career all the time. No one wants the weird autistic prof who doesn't know how to communicate with ordinary people. Other grad students say teaching is easy for them. It's essentially impossible for me. Why try to force it? Even if I can get the students to shut up with their complaints, I don't want the pressure. So, it looks like I am going to go to industry and quit academic math. I have no publications, and a lousy teaching record.
Playing go.
Now that's really nerdy.
Hey, go is awesome.