Can You Spot All the Homographs in These Sentences?

  • Thread starter wolram
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In summary: I am a summarizer, not a conversationalist. In summary, the conversation touches on the challenges of learning English as a second language, the difficulties with English pronunciation, and the use of slang and dialects in different regions of England. The topic of scones and their pronunciation also arises, as well as humorous jokes and puns related to the English language.
  • #1
wolram
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We must polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
 
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  • #2
And there you have the biggest reason that I'm glad I don't have to learn english as a second language :D
 
  • #3
Not to mention the pronunciation of vowels that even native english speakers can't seem to agree on. Romance languages make much more sense phonetically.
 
  • #4
I got one! I got one!
He could not bear that silly bear.
Thanks you that is all.
 
  • #5
Huckleberry said:
Not to mention the pronunciation of vowels that even native english speakers can't seem to agree on.

Scone- does it rhyme with alone, or gone?
 
  • #6
Well, the place Scone always rhymes with alone. The crumbly cake of the same name goes either way.
 
  • #7
matthyaouw said:
Scone- does it rhyme with alone, or gone?
Not a subject I want to get into. All I know is that scone does not rhyme with aunt.
 
  • #8
"He shan't play a shanty." "Shan't he?"

No, that was rubbish.
 
  • #9
Huckleberry said:
Not a subject I want to get into. All I know is that scone does not rhyme with aunt.
i think that depends on how you pronounce aunt...
 
  • #10
Et tu Gale? :cry:
 
  • #11
matthyaouw said:
And there you have the biggest reason that I'm glad I don't have to learn english as a second language :D

English has to be one of the easiest languages. It is my second language yet I now know it better than my first language(Polish). I was born in Canada and of course was raised with the polish language, and then when school came around I had to learn french(I lived in Quebec) and that was easy to do. Within a few months I was fluent in French. When third grade came around, I moved to Arizona and didn't know a word of English. I went to school normally and within a month I was able to talk to everyone in my class and I was fluent in English. I always speak to my parents in Polish but over the years it has been getting slightly worse, I can still speak it very well but I can speak English better.
 
  • #12
Scone has to rhyme with gone so you can tell that joke. What's the fastest cake of them all? Scone. (S'gone, geddit?)
 
  • #13
icvotria said:
Scone has to rhyme with gone so you can tell that joke. What's the fastest cake of them all? Scone. (S'gone, geddit?)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.


How about that famous Yorkshire expression, used when you're looking for the scone, but it isn't where you left it:

't int in t' tin

(It isn't in the tin)
 
  • #14
Yay! Yorkshire expressions are the best. I like 'put wood in t'oil' which translates as 'shut the door, please.'
 
  • #15
Can is worse.

I can

the can = tin can

the can = toilet

I can take a can to the can, isn't that a song?
 
  • #16
icvotria said:
Yay! Yorkshire expressions are the best. I like 'put wood in t'oil' which translates as 'shut the door, please.'
Literally what, though? "Put wood in the hole"? I couldn't make it out.

What is the part of England where people speak without using any articles?
 
  • #17
zoobyshoe said:
Literally what, though? "Put wood in the hole"? I couldn't make it out.

Yeah, spot on.

What is the part of England where people speak without using any articles?

Yorkshire, I suppose.

Although t' usually takes the place of 'the', (as in "ah'm ganning to't shops, dust tha want owt?") it's more of a glottal stop than a plosive sound, so I reckon it counts.

I'll have a think...
 
  • #18
brewnog said:
dust tha want owt?"
Gives me the chills. It's the voice of a Shakespearian barmaid or laborer.
 
  • #19
zoobyshoe said:
Gives me the chills. It's the voice of a Shakespearian barmaid or laborer.

Nahh, it's the sound of a Northern coalminer! Not that there are any of those about these days.

"Ow's abaht some bread an drippin, us mother?"
 
  • #20
brewnog said:
Nahh, it's the sound of a Northern coalminer! Not that there are any of those about these days.
Coalminer? Thou dost yank my chain.

"Ow's abaht some bread an drippin, us mother?"
"How about some bread with meat-flavored grease dip for us, mother?"?
 
  • #21
I love Yorkshire slang. I live about 300m from the yorkshire border, so basically consider myself a Yorkshireman. The accent isn't too think in this end of the county.
One thing I learned recently is that you shouldn't use Yorks contactions to inform someone you've been to the art gallery.
 
  • #22
Hehehehehehehe. That's a great pun, though.
 
  • #23
matthyaouw said:
you shouldn't use Yorks contactions to inform someone you've been to the art gallery.
:smile:

How about, "He broke his fast and made fast work of his fast-food breakfast, then made fast the door of the fridge to keep his fast-friends out of his food.

I know that there's some duplication in there, but I don't care. :-p
 
  • #24
Where you from, Matthyaouw?

Us lahks dippin' us bread in cow fat, us duz!
 
  • #25
brewnog said:
Us lahks dippin' us bread in cow fat, us duz!
That sounds like a Fraggle Rock accent to me.
 
  • #26
Danger said:
That sounds like a Fraggle Rock accent to me.

I wouldn't expect a North American to appreciate the subtle nuances of my language. :-p
 
  • #27
brewnog said:
I wouldn't expect a North American to appreciate the subtle nuances of my language. :-p
Don't you mean 'nuissances'?
 
  • #28
Danger said:
Don't you mean 'nuissances'?

No, 'nuisances'!

Touche!
 
  • #29
brewnog said:
No, 'nuisances'!

Touche!
Crap! I have to adjust the repeat rate on this keyboard.







Okay, that was a pretty lame attempt at a cover-up. :redface: I've been spelling that with 2 s's my whole life, and this is the first time that someone pointed out the error. Thanks. (I wish you'd done it 20 minutes ago, because I used it in the flat tire thread too. Gonna run back and edit it right now.)
 
  • #30
Regardless, I think he missed the whole art gallery pun.
 
  • #31
brewnog said:
Where you from, Matthyaouw?

Us lahks dippin' us bread in cow fat, us duz!

Ah be from Hull ('Ull). Don't get me started on the glorious 'Ull accent.
 
  • #32
I missed it, still trying to catch up.

The combination of Stella, PF, and the impending doom of a Joining Lightweight Materials exam in the morning is not going down too well...
 
  • #33
matthyaouw said:
Ah be from Hull ('Ull). Don't get me started on the glorious 'Ull accent.


Ahhhhh Hull!

Lord deliver us from Hell, Hull and Halifax...

There's one thing I love about Hull. I'll give you a clue:

The tops are 36mm further apart from each other than the bottoms, to allow for the curvature of the earth.
 
  • #34
T'internet is one of my favourite Yorks/Lancs expressions

As in "luk it up on't t'internet"

- I love that one!
 
  • #35
Adrian Baker said:
T'internet is one of my favourite Yorks/Lancs expressions

As in "luk it up on't t'internet"

- I love that one!

T'interweb is even better!

"As tha bin surfin on t'interweb again son? Tha's bahn to cetch tha death o cowd, tha will!"
 

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