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The real reason why I care about mathematical models for flirting

  1. Dec 13, 2009 #1
    Hopefully you don't mind me saying this, I get the impression PhysicsForums is trying to tell me to turn my mind into a vegetable because all thoughts/feelings are automatically found in a book no matter what and so you have to purge all your feelings. I wonder if coming up with some mathematical models may be able to PF to not say that? Although this may not make sense what I'm saying at first because you need the context, please hear me out:

    Has there ever been a time when you wanted to do more than study for a test, but rather actually understand what you were learning, see how everything was related, and make it your own idea? Well just like visualize means to take something and turn it into something visual, conceptualize means to make it conceptual, which is a good thing. So I created a phrase, "I'm just just trying to conceptualize the world around me", not to be catchy but rather as a way to describe my personal feelings just like someone may say "I'm hungry". A roommate then said, "LOL, not from a book." Then later on he said, "LOL, I'm going to be creative. You killed my father, prepare to die". I went to Google and "You killed my father, prepare to die" in quotes came up hundreds of thousand of time, however the only times "I'm just trying to conceptualize the world around me" showed up is when I've used it online. The reason I brought that up with PhysicsForums earlier was I felt weirded out from that roommate telling me to turn my mind into a vegetable because all thoughts/feelings are automatically in some imaginary book. Since PF also said "not from a book" regardless of me insisting I didn't get that phrase from a book and it was my own personal feelings, I feel like PhysicsForums is telling me to turn my mind into a vegetable. Very creepy.

    So as a solution to all of this, I thought perhaps maybe if I could come up with a counter-intuitive idea which might possibly work in some situations like mathematical models for flirting, that would show PF I thought of an idea not in the "imaginary book" even if they absolutely don't agree with it (already checked for any specific flirting equations on trusty Google). I thought then PhysicsForums won't tell me to turn my mind into a vegetable anymore.

    So I don't know if that makes sense where I'm coming from? That's why I may sound all weird on a lot of the threads; I feel like PF is telling me to turn my mind into a vegetable because all thoughts/feeling are automatically found in some "imaginary book" no matter what and that you have to purge your mind of all thoughts/feelings.

    Some of it is due to me actually wanting to learn how to read flirting, but more of it is because I don't want to purge all thoughts/feelings and think like a veggie.
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 13, 2009 #2
    It's weird because I'll be watching TV and think to myself that I'm thirsty and want some water. I'll hear this voice saying, "This is PhysicsForums, water is in a book." Me, "But I'm thirsty!" PhysicsForums, "Nope, not from a book!" Me, "This is ridiculous, I'm thirsty." PhysicsForums, "Ridiculous is in a book. Nope, not from a book."

    I could be wrong, but doesn't common sense say something is wrong?
  4. Dec 13, 2009 #3


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    I guess the reason PF members don't care or don't show interest in this, it's because we simply never needed these "models".

    Let me tell you something... Life is difficult as it is. You have to study, work, eat healthy, etc... You start letting go, and just enjoying the little things, like reading a book, going to the movies, hanging out with friends,... so you really just don't care that much about some girl in some period of your life that told you to go away. Heck, almost every time I go out here (a bar, a party, walking around campus, doing laundry, my hobbies, friends of friends...), I meet someone new, and if I like someone, I just share my time with them, and then after it's all set and done might get a number if she has to leave. I call, and try to set up a time to meet, sometimes she shows, sometimes she doesn't. Do I lose sleep over it? no. Why would I? this is a person I just met, plus there's always next time. Do you see a pattern here? My main objective in life is not GIRLS. I am not making that my objective. My objective in life is something else (at the moment my future career). Stop chasing golden gooses, and stop flying in the sky, get your feet back on the ground. Refocus your priorities, go and get that PhD in Statistics. Also, I recommend following the advice of other members like Moonbear. Go to a psychologist, There is NO SHAME in asking for help!. Obviously, you need the help, and APPARENTLY NOW, because you can't seem to stop talking about this topic.
  5. Dec 13, 2009 #4
    My head hurts :cry:
  6. Dec 13, 2009 #5


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  7. Dec 13, 2009 #6
    If people do not like 27k's threads and topics then they should stop reading and responding to them. I assume next we will have someone posting "Cancer! Cancer! Cancer!" I don't believe there is any exception in the PF guidelines for disrespect towards members most others find annoying.

    27k: I do not think that anyone wants you to be a veggie. I made a thought out (and polite) response to you in your other thread. Please read it and have patience with us who do not seem to think quite the same way as you do. Some members are obviously having problems with their own patience and I think that you and the rest of us could benefit from making fewer assumptions and being less reactionary.

    If you do not like the way some PFers are reacting to you please stop annoying them with the continuous stream of threads on the topics they are so annoyed with. Try to be more understanding, the way that I hope everyone else here will.

    You have a thread current and ongoing, we can talk there. If you have personal issues rather than general and intellectual discussion please find a sympathetic ear and PM that person, and no offense but don't harass them.
  8. Dec 13, 2009 #7
    Guys, is there anyone of you who can teach me the equations of golf ? You see, this Sunday morning I realized I suck at golf. I realized that it would take the better part of 20 years to hone my motor skills. This sucks. Then I remembered about Galileo and Newton. Those guys where awesome. They used science. There was nothing they couldnt do. Surely, golfing would be a breeze for them.

    So please help me become the next Tiger Woods. Give me the chance to have my car's rear window smashed by my wife and make hundred of millions of EUR. I need the equations !

    (by now you all have realized that I only reason want to golf is because I want to become rich , and have sex) I know it's a pretty convoluted approach. But surely it must work.
  9. Dec 13, 2009 #8
    You're just trying to make sense of the world using the only methods you have. You remind me quite a bit of the lead character in the book, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night, (although he was trying to solve a very different kind of mystery):

    http://www.themodernword.com/reviews/haddon.html [Broken]


    Anyway, no one wants you to become a vegetable. The problem with your threads is on both sides: people are having a very difficult time reading you: this is the internet, we are robbed of our usual visual and auditory clues. I think this last thing you posted was the missing piece of the puzzle I needed to figure out what you're about: you're more concerned with honing your detective skills and thereby gaining some insight into the incomprehensible people around you, than actually getting into a relationship (though I'm sure you wouldn't object to the latter). Temple Grandin, a well known High Functioning Autistic woman, described her experiences with trying to figure the world of normal people out as being like "an anthropologist on Mars". In other words, normal people are as foreign to her as Martians (if they actually existed) would be to a human anthropologist. I think you are in the same situation as her, more or less.

    I would be very surprised to find out that you had never been "officially" diagnosed as being somewhere on the Autistic spectrum, and yet, you have never mentioned any such diagnosis in the posts I have happened to read. So I have to ask the question: have you never received such a diagnosis?
    Last edited by a moderator: May 4, 2017
  10. Dec 15, 2009 #9
    There is serious research into this area. Google "Affective Interfaces".
  11. Dec 15, 2009 #10
    Although being interested in equations is more due to getting the impression PhysicsForums wants me to turn my mind into a vegetable, I think the relationship thing is also very important for why. The part about not wanting one's mind turned into a vegetable is why I've posted so much about it in PF and why I keep pursuing it, although it's not the reason which first first made me think of equations. (It's just the reason for more than 50% of the interest I have in the subject). I want a relationship also.

    No, I haven't been diagnosed, although Dave thinks I should. I took that AS/HFA quiz in the general discussion forum (I don't know if it's against forum rules to link to other PF threads so I'll be on the safe side and not link) and scored 38 on it. There was the regular population control group and AS/HFA group who took the quiz, and 80% of AS/HFA scored above 32 while only 2% of the regular population scored above 32. The normal population average was 16 (Standard Deviation 6.3) and the Asperger's/HFA was 36 (SD 6.5). The Math Olympiad winners who were given the same quiz had an average of 24.5 (SD 5.7). However, it's not an official diagnostic tool.

    However, remember some who were normal scored that high, so we don't know that I have Asperger's. When they evaluated the normal population who scored higher than 32, they found it was strongly related to High-Functioning Autism/Asperger "traits", but not necessarily whether they had it. So we can't be sure I have it. I do strongly think I have social difficulties though.

    I wonder if being diagnosed would do me any good, because can't people do things like learning to play the piano through instruction and lots of practice? So what if I were to solve my problems by reading lots of book on social skills and coming up with mathematical models to maximize scientific method predictive power and application? What do you think? I mean, they use equations to predict the probability of weather don't they? So if I just get a wide variety of data sets for flirting and anything dealing with socializing, plus software which helps you create mathematical equations, then could that possibly help?
  12. Dec 15, 2009 #11
    This is one of my favorite boos I have ever read in my entire life. Absolutely amazing. I suggest everyone who reads this message to stop what they are doing. Head to the book store, buy this book then read it. Come back here and tell me that you loved it :smile:

    @27, I would suggest that if you didn't like the way that PF responds to you that you stop bringing this topic up in every thread your a part of, and stop posting multiple threads of the same issue.
    My suggestion still stands to you, go out and try meeting some people with friends, IN AN ENVIROMENT YOU ARE COMFORTABLE IN, just through having a good time and talking. Then ask for a number... important step, do not miss it.
    Call number sometime when you feel like chilling ask her to go out for coffee or something else.
    If she says yes and shows up, talk to her about life things you both do etc.. I personally would leave out that you are making a mathematical model of flirtting because you don't understand girls.
    Talk to her about not understanding girls though, this is a legitimate discussion to have with a female.
    Take her home then go home yourself... rinse and repeat.
    You can be doing this for multiple girls at one time, just try to make sure they don't know eachother that well and that when you go out you have little chance of running into eachother.
    It's ok if you tell a girl that you are going out to do something with another girl though, that makes them more interested quicker, but when they see you actually out with another girl it sets off some sort of nuclear explosion in their brains and you normally get the blunt force which may end up with you in a hospital with a concussion. (lol when a girl comes at you threateningly with a hard object in her hand as if she will hit you with it, just believe it, better safe then sorry.)

    If the girl says no when you call them to go out you can do one of 3 things:
    ask them to give you a call when they have a chance to go out to get something to eat/chill (by doing this you give up your options to call them so it's kind of risky... however if they never call you then you know they weren't interested and when they DO call you you know you got them all you have to do is reel them in.)
    Inform them that it's too bad and that you'll try again. They may say not to try again though... that's cool. If they say ok then just wait for a while (like a pretttty long while say a few weeks) and then try calling them again. If it's the same story then abandon ship.
    Just tell them ok say goodbye hang up phone don't bother contacting them. With this option sometimes the girl may call you someime to go out, this is the same as in option 1. you know you have got them on the line, just reel it in. :smile:

    You should do this for a month before you go ahead and start making those models/formulas/theorems. You will talk to plenty of more girls this way... I'm quite sure. You may even end up getting a girlfriend, which I highly doubt these formulas you develop will be able to do. Hopefully though, above everything, you will realize that you are pretty much in the exact situation as most guys are. Approaching women and being able to read them isn't something your born with, it's a skill you develop. Some develop it faster than others, who cares? It will never get developed through sitting at your desk and watching videos of other guys approach other girls.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 4, 2017
  13. Dec 15, 2009 #12
    I highly doubt it will help at all. Imagine you make a equation which will help you. You're sitting at the campus bar and a girl who you've gone to a few study groups with and that you've been interested in sits beside you. You whip out your notebook calculator and pencils/erasers and you start scribbling away like a mad man. 10 minutes later you get an answer. (We are going to assume she does not mind you doing this for 10 minutes and doesn't think it's creepy... we can imagine for those 10 minutes time has stopped for everyone except you.) Now she talks to you... some more mad scribbles. She laughs at a corny joke you made, more mad scribbles. She touches your arm gently (be calm this is only a simulation.) more mad scribbles. Your answers are becoming more and more clear, she is flirting with you.

    WHAT DO YOU DO NOW TO KEEP IT UP? Great! You have developed a formula that can say when a girl is flirting with you. However you were so busy not out there getting flirted with that now the situations will come up and you will know it and you do not know what to do. So you buy her a drink, good job. Next what do you say to her... all in the hopes of continuing the flirting. Nothing except practice will help you through these situations, just as practice will allow you to know when girls are flirting on you.

    Something important to note anyways is that girls normally only flirt with guys they already know or that they are comfortable with. Girls that just flirt with you the first moment they meet you, well theres plenty of special names for them. Another important thing is that even though a girl is flirting with you tonight, if you do nothing back odds are that she herself will move on. (if you need to go home to do the calculations to figure it out).
  14. Dec 15, 2009 #13
    No , no, you got it all wrong. Upside down if you will.

    It is you who says "I want to get laid by reading a book". You hear a voice: "this is PhysicsForums, you wont get laid reading books"

    When you are thirsty, you just get up and get some water. You dont seek the "equations of getting up and finding some water or whatever". This is what you do with women. You go and talk to them.
  15. Dec 15, 2009 #14


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    Enough of these threads.
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