Thread Killer Champions: Franzbear & Moonbear

[Huckleberry]

Well, shoot, I'm just glad he decided to "claim" my car instead of me!

One of these things don't look like the other.
One of these things is kinda the same.
Can you guess which one is doin' his own thing.
Now its time to play our game.
Its time to play our game.

No comment

 

[Evo]

Where is everyone tonight?

(sound of crickets chirping)

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Is anybody here? Is anybody here? Is anybody here?



Franzbear...we're alone. That's ok, Aunt Evo made you some special cookies. I sprinkled them with powdered sugar. Don't they look yummy? Warm out of the oven. You can have as many as you want. It's our little secret. I'll bring you some fresh every night. Hmmm? What is that bottle with the skull & crossbones? Oh, that, That was my pirate aunt's sugar bowl, she was such a kidder, that's really powdered suger.

 

[Math Is Hard]

I grew up in a heavily wooded area in Houston and no one can keep those things out, they just keep coming in.

I am glad to say I have been roach free since I left Houston.

Remember waking up in the middle of the night and flipping on the kitchen light to hear a hundred threatening "SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"s and the frantic scurrying.

No matter how many times I go home to Texas, I never get used to that. The cats won't even go in the laundry room at night anymore. They know it's not their domain. They are too outnumbered. It makes me think of Gulliver's Travels. I always expect to find one of the cats tethered and pinned tightly to the floor by thousands of tiny cockroach ropes and in need of my rescue.

 

[SOS2008]

Where is everyone tonight?

(sound of crickets chirping)

Hello? Hello? Hello?

Is anybody here? Is anybody here? Is anybody here?



Franzbear...we're alone. That's ok, Aunt Evo made you some special cookies. I sprinkled them with powdered sugar. Don't they look yummy? Warm out of the oven. You can have as many as you want. It's our little secret. I'll bring you some fresh every night. Hmmm? What is that bottle with the skull & crossbones? Oh, that, That was my pirate aunt's sugar bowl, she was such a kidder, that's really powdered suger.

Crickets don't chirp, they make a sound like...Hey wait a minute. You didn't pack that bottle with the skull & crossbones, right?

 

[Moonbear]

Those roaches probably have nests near your house. I once ran into a nest while doing a little light landscaping. The grass above it looked off, and breaking the ground with a shovel it looked like there was fungus in their tunnels. They looked like roaches but these ones seemed more orange/brown in color than the ones I've seen before. Maybe you could find their nests and eliminate the problem at the source.

They live outdoors in the trees, anywhere there's some wood to hide under. They're very prevalent around here. They say usually people end up carrying them in with fire wood, but I haven't even used the fireplace this year. They probably get in the same way everything else does, crawling in under the eaves of the house and in through the attic or following me in from the garage. I had the garage door open a long time over the weekend while doing all the yard work. I'll be doing just what SOS recommended, and spray along the foundations, plus there's a tree that needs to get trimmed back from the house. The combination of those two should stop the bugs from getting inside. At least most of them. Everything I found online about them says that they don't breed indoors, they're just an occassional nuisance, and they don't nest in groups like other roaches do. Even the pest control company website says they don't recommend spraying for them, just try to locate where they come in from outside and seal it off. At least they are big and slow. This is the third one I found inside in about the same number of weeks. Their behavior is even the way the websites describe them, that they are attracted toward lights, you'll find them wandering in random rooms, not concentrated in anyone place, they don't run and hide when disturbed. They seem pretty susceptible to a direct hit of ant spray.

Evo, I don't know where those skunks are. I'd rather have skunks than bugs. They're probably full on slugs already. I haven't seen any slugs yet, but I know they must be emerging by now too. I do have a raccoon that lives nearby. I'm working on figuring out if that's what's digging under my deck (there's a big hole under an old slab of concrete that must have been a patio before the deck was put in over it). I don't mind the raccoons, except when they decide to mate on my roof at 3 AM. What sort of establishment do these critters think I run around here?

Oh, but there was a robin out in my garden eating bugs. We had a good deal on Saturday when I was planting bulbs. It hung around and I tossed it the earthworms I dug up. I've never had a wild bird hang around so close before (well, except those sparrows that hang around outdoor eateries and steal food right off your plate). I figured the first worm I threw at it would scare it away, but it clearly knew what I threw at it and ran right for it. The bird did look confused for a moment though, like it was puzzled by worms falling from the sky. There are plenty of birds out in the yard, though I think most are seed eaters (lots of cardinals hanging around this year; they seem to be seeking refuge in my yard since I'm the only one without dogs to chase them).

Well, that's it for the natural history of Moonbear's backyard.

 

[Moonbear]

Remember waking up in the middle of the night and flipping on the kitchen light to hear a hundred threatening "SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"s and the frantic scurrying.

No matter how many times I go home to Texas, I never get used to that. The cats won't even go in the laundry room at night anymore. They know it's not their domain. They are too outnumbered. It makes me think of Gulliver's Travels. I always expect to find one of the cats tethered and pinned tightly to the floor by thousands of tiny cockroach ropes and in need of my rescue.

I have another chance at A&M (knock on wood) and now you're scaring me about moving there! Sister Evo, make her stop scaring me about roaches!

 

[Evo]

Awww, little Franzbear is very sleepy now.

Here are a few cookies to eat when you wake up dear.

Make sure you eat all the powdered sugar.

I will be back with more cookies tomorrow.

All for you my little franzbear.

Sleeptight.

 

[Moonbear]

Awww, little Franzbear is very sleepy now.

Here are a few cookies to eat when you wake up dear.

Make sure you eat all the powdered sugar.

I will be back with more cookies tomorrow.

All for you my little franzbear.

Sleeptight.

No you don't! Now I have to look like the meanie. *forces activated charcoal down franzbear's throat* Sorry franzbear, I know it doesn't taste good, but never trust cookies from a nerd pirate!

 

[Evo]

I have another chance at A&M (knock on wood) and now you're scaring me about moving there! Sister Evo, make her stop scaring me about roaches!

No roaches at A&M. They were all driven off back in the 70's one night when Jethro Tull played in town. He ran all of the roaches into the river with his flute playing.

 

[cronxeh]

she called you a nerd pirate.. you going to take that?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Oh, c'mon, Moonbear. You can't let some little piddly roaches scare you off! On the other hand, if you're teaching at A &M, my little brother might be in one of your classes. He's much more of a pest than any cockroach!

 

[Evo]

she called you a nerd pirate.. you going to take that?

Nerd Pirate? No way, that was my aunt! I'm a Nice pirate. Want more powdered sugar franz?

 

[Moonbear]

Oh, c'mon, Moonbear. You can't let some little piddly roaches scare you off! On the other hand, if you're teaching at A &M, my little brother might be in one of your classes. He's much more of a pest than any cockroach!

Actually, what I'm worried about is the phrase, "everything is bigger in Texas." They might not be some little piddly roaches. Don't laugh, but I don't even know what department I'm being considered for at the moment. Apparently my application and CV have been passed around to be considered for several positions and the search committee chair didn't know I didn't know this when he emailed me to make sure I was still interested since it's been so long since my application was sent in. And of course he's now out of town so I can't call and get answers.

I can handle pesky students though. If you let me know he's your brother, I can give him an extra hard time if you want.

 

[Moonbear]

Nerd Pirate? No way, that was my aunt! I'm a Nice pirate. Want more powdered sugar franz?

You can feed it to franz, just not little franzbear.

 

[cronxeh]

ohhh.. i hope none of my profs are on this forum..

wait.. engineering school.. physics forums.. DOH

 

[Math Is Hard]

Actually, what I'm worried about is the phrase, "everything is bigger in Texas." They might not be some little piddly roaches.

Well, you won't have no transportation worries. You just saddle up one of them ol' Madagascar hissy-bugs and ride him down to campus.

I can handle pesky students though. If you let me know he's your brother, I can give him an extra hard time if you want.

Shoot, yeah! I will pay you to bust that boy's chops!

 

[Moonbear]

ohhh.. i hope none of my profs are on this forum..

wait.. engineering school.. physics forums.. DOH

It might be a long-shot, but I don't think I'd take the chance and bad mouth one of your profs around here.

 

[Moonbear]

Well, you won't have no transportation worries. You just saddle up one of them ol' Madagascar hissy-bugs and ride him down to campus.

Okay, those kind of roaches I don't mind. The hissing ones amuse me, even if I jump every time I make them hiss. We used to have them for the bio labs; I don't know why we needed live roaches to demonstrate what an insect was, or why we couldn't just point to one of the many wild roaches running around that old building, but when I was the head TA, the person who was supposed to transport a bunch over to another campus called in sick and I had to go pick up a bunch and put them in a new cage to drive over. But it got me over the worry of touching them. At least I knew they were raised in captivity and disease-free.

Shoot, yeah! I will pay you to bust that boy's chops!

Moonbear suddenly realizes the great untapped market for supplementing a professor's salary.

 

[cronxeh]

eh.. speaking of bad mouthing and professors..

our biology department's head female prof basically got a job at a state uni in midwest, and transferred out, leaving only one bio prof who is now going to be teaching like 4-6 classes. i feel bad for the poor fella, and the old catalog still lists her as a department advisor..

and as a side perk, the school she transferred to basically isn't that good - the labs and the facilities are a joke compared to what she left. oh well. hope some young hotshot bio prof comes along by the time i retake my physiology class

 

[Moonbear]

eh.. speaking of bad mouthing and professors..

our biology department's head female prof basically got a job at a state uni in midwest, and transferred out, leaving only one bio prof who is now going to be teaching like 4-6 classes. i feel bad for the poor fella, and the old catalog still lists her as a department advisor..

and as a side perk, the school she transferred to basically isn't that good - the labs and the facilities are a joke compared to what she left. oh well. hope some young hotshot bio prof comes along by the time i retake my physiology class

If she's moving to worse facilities, it makes you wonder why she's moving? Must be something going on behind the scenes. Unless she's getting a fantastic start-up package to set up new facilities and build up the program there. That's something people sometimes do when they like challenges; they'll apply for a chair position at a dept that's not so great and build it up to the program they want it to be.

They don't have anyone there to help pick up some of the slack? Unless he has a full-time teaching appointment (no research), trying to teach 4 - 6 classes is absolutely insane! Unless that prof really pissed off his dept chair and this is how the chair is getting even. If I see any jobs advertised in NYC, I'll confer with you about your school before I apply; I wouldn't want to apply for something with that heavy of a teaching load -- I'd never be able to accomplish any research.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Moonbear suddenly realizes the great untapped market for supplementing a professor's salary.

Just name your price. He'll be the tall blond surfer-boy in the front row who thinks he knows everything. I want him to suffer, you hear me? SUFFER! muwhahhahahhaaa!
I bet there's a whole network of siblings out there who are willing to cough up the cash for this kind of torture.

 

[Moonbear]

Just name your price. He'll be the tall blond surfer-boy in the front row who thinks he knows everything.

You're going to have to be more specific than that. There's one of them in every class!

I want him to suffer, you hear me? SUFFER! muwhahhahahhaaa!
I bet there's a whole network of siblings out there who are willing to cough up the cash for this kind of torture.

$$$$$ I can see it now. I'll be the only prof on campus who can afford a Porsche. I think I want a red one.

 

[cronxeh]

Well for the fall there are 2 bio classes - physiology and genetics - with both labs, so it kind of turns out to be '4' classes, but then again, biology isn't really the biggest undergrad area - but i know they are looking for a new associate prof. they have 3 floors dedicated to biocatalysts and other bio/chem applications, polymers, etc

 

[Moonbear]

Well for the fall there are 2 bio classes - physiology and genetics - with both labs, so it kind of turns out to be '4' classes, but then again, biology isn't really the biggest undergrad area - but i know they are looking for a new associate prof. they have 3 floors dedicated to biocatalysts and other bio/chem applications, polymers, etc

That could explain why she left, if bio isn't very big there and if her research was really in a field of biology, she may have felt isolated in a dept full of biochemists.

 

[Danger]

AAAAGH! Danger, I'm sorry, but your avatar is a bit...scary.

MIH, your current avatar is really cute! Anna Nicole was even scarier than Danger.

This from a woman who presents a bug avatar to the world's foremost insectophobe? I'll tell you how much I can't stand bugs. I'm a Bruce (from Robert the Bruce of Scotland), and by family tradition we're not allowed to harm spiders. To me, the more legs it has, the less I like it. I was actually so scared of spiders when I was a kid that I thought one might run up the handle of the flyswatter and bite me before it died. So instead I would put a 5mm starter's blank in my Llama XV .22 with the 1.75" barrel and shoot the buggers with it. It gave about a 6" muzzle flash that would curl a spider up into a little blob and smash it into the far wall. This was, of course, in the house that was built into the church that my dad worked at. I'm sure that when we left, they couldn't figure out what the hell all of those 6"-long scorch marks all over the carpet were about.
Anyhow, having read all of that roach stuff, I'm even more glad than ever that I live someplace that's too cold for them.
And now, just to double-check reactions, I present the last installment of 'The 5th Dementia' that I did about a year ago. It, like the first, is about mid-point in the quality department.

[img=http://img20.echo.cx/img20/8634/pf9sj.th.jpg]

 

[cronxeh]

That could explain why she left, if bio isn't very big there and if her research was really in a field of biology, she may have felt isolated in a dept full of biochemists.

well actually her research is in chromatin structure and dynamics and protein folding. i guess you could say she is a molecular biologist with biophysics in mind

 

[Moonbear]

This from a woman who presents a bug avatar to the world's foremost insectophobe?

Thanks for pointing out it's a bug! I was happily oblivious thinking it was a disgruntled-looking dragon.

And now, just to double-check reactions, I present the last installment of 'The 5th Dementia' that I did about a year ago. It, like the first, is about mid-point in the quality department.

[img=http://img20.echo.cx/img20/8634/pf9sj.th.jpg]

I liked the first one better. This one is okay for a Tuesday, but I'd be disappointed if it was in the Sunday funnies. Actually, I got a good laugh because it reminded me of a past thread where tribdog's "boys" landed in a pickle jar.

 

[Danger]

This one is okay for a Tuesday, but I'd be disappointed if it was in the Sunday funnies.

Alright, alright. You just always have to have the best of everything, don't you? Well, you ain't going to get it, 'cause none of 'em are that great. I will, however, give you this one that I consider among the better ones. At least it's relevant to the thread.

http://img253.echo.cx/img253/2148/pf8gn.th.jpg

 

[Math Is Hard]

HaHAHHAhAA! I like Danger's comics!

 

[Moonbear]

Alright, alright. You just always have to have the best of everything, don't you? Well, you ain't going to get it, 'cause none of 'em are that great. I will, however, give you this one that I consider among the better ones. At least it's relevant to the thread.

http://img253.echo.cx/img253/2148/pf8gn.th.jpg

I love it! You're good!