What is the Latest Adventure of FranzBear and Uncle Artman?

[Evo]

For those of you that do not know - the following exchange between Moonbear and Artman, as regards Franzbear's adventures is something to sit back and behold.

Let the SAGA BEGIN! :!)

 

[Moonbear]

It's amazing how fast ants are. Isn't it? They sure do love wet flower, syrup-fried, sugar-coated-honey-drenched, bacon grease covered, fake bear fur.

Ooh, look! The red ants are winning! Oh, I guess Franzbear wasn't really that tired out afterall, he's up and running around again. Hmm...looks like some strange type of jumping jacks perhaps?

Oh, it seems the ants are stinging a bit. Well, I'll just pour some alcohol on the stings to keep them from getting infected. Oh, dear, there's a lot of them. Okay, I'll just pour the whole bottle over him. Now, Franzbear, go walk over to the campfire and dry off.

FWWOOOOOOOOOMPH


Oops.

 

[Artman]

Quick! Back to the water to put out the fire!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Oops. Who'd have thought there would be another 300 foot drop so close to the last one?

 

[Moonbear]

*Tosses Franzbear a line to help him out of the water*

THUNK...gurgle gurgle gurgle bloop bloop bloop

Sorry, I only had the one with the anchor tied to it.

 

[Artman]

Also, it appears that the fire melted the coating again, making it quite sticky...

Franzbear has let go of the anchor line, but he seems to be stuck to the rocks at the bottom of the river...

I'm going to give him a few more hours, perhaps the cold water will reharden the coating and he will unstick...at least that is the hypothesis.

 

[Artman]

Franzbeaer has popped back up to the surface and he said he had time to compose a little note back home.

(To the tune of Camp Granada)

Hello Physics
Hello Forums
I'm in the forest
with uncle Artman.

It is neat here
under water
and Uncle Artman's
dressed up just like Psycho's Mother.
La, la, la.The bacon's crispy
on my bear suit
and I discovered
a grizzly's sweet tooth!

Bees are stinging
inside the coating.
I'm just hoping
Uncle doesn't take me boating.
La, la, la.

Ants have chomped me
from top to tushy.
At the waterfall,
Moonbear got pushy!

See you shortly
if I survive.
With Uncle Artman
I'm lucky just to stay alive.
La, la, la.Hmmm. Boating is not a bad idea. I mean, it should be fun.