Two Truths & One Lie: Guess My Ancestor!

[honestrosewater]

I never saw a crane catch a rattlesnake in my backyard. But I did see a crane catch a black racer in my backyard. It flew away with it dangling from its beak.

I once recited a suggestive limerick with a bad British accent in front of an audience of academics while inebriated.

Who hasn't?
I think you do a Simpsons-related impression. No Seinfeld.

I wish I had seen your first one. I would have guessed that you didn't meet Dennett.

 

[hypnagogue]

So your dad is an axe murderer? (Wasn't that a movie?) You got some 'splainin to do!

 

[zoobyshoe]

So your dad is an axe murderer? (Wasn't that a movie?) You got some 'splainin to do!

Yeah. You can't just drop a bomb like that and act nonchalant.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Incidentally, you were all wrong:

#2 is false

I think zooby's python catcher isn't real.

I'll say zoob never saw someone catch a shark in person.

The python was an escaped pet, about three feet long, and was apprehended by, of all people, a guy named Monty, after having been at large for three days in the bushes around the house from whence it escaped.

The shark was a baby blue shark, about a foot long, that a guy caught with a normal rod and reel off the pier at Ocean Beach here in San Diego.

 

[honestrosewater]

So your dad is an axe murderer? (Wasn't that a movie?) You got some 'splainin to do!

I knew that was a bad idea (it was so perfect though). He's in prison, if it makes you feel better. It's a long story and happened a long time ago. My dad broke into our house with a knife and roofing hatchet (a small axe), attacked my mom, and my stepdad woke up and was killed saving her. Eh, maybe I shouldn't talk about it. On with the game. Seinfeld or no?

 

[honestrosewater]

The python was an escaped pet, about three feet long, and was apprehended by, of all people, a guy named Monty,

That can't be true. I still think this one's a lie.

 

[zoobyshoe]

I knew that was a bad idea (it was so perfect though).

It was perfect. Too outlandish to be true. That's why I suspected it was true. You almost joining a gang also seemed outlandish. So, I got the feeling the most plausible choice must be the false one in this case.

 

[hypnagogue]

My apologies and sympathies, Rose.

 

[zoobyshoe]

That can't be true. I still think this one's a lie.

It is absolutely true. The local paper even did a little paragraph about it called something like "Monty and the Python". Everyone got a kick out of it.

 

[hypnagogue]

Yeah, I guess it was a bit obvious-- I don't do a fantastic Seinfield. It's more like a bad caricature, but it's good for laughs sometimes. However, contra zooby's impression, I can do some impressions pretty well. I can do a dead-ringer for Ray Romano. I can also do an excellent "ominous voiceover for a movie commercial" impression. My British accent(s) is more in the bad caricature category, but at least it makes me laugh!

 

[EnumaElish]

When 9/11 happened, I was in an airplane.
I was airborne at midnight, on Y2K new year's eve (00:00 hours January 1st, 2000).
A small town I lived in had its own currency.

Anyone?

 

[zoobyshoe]

When 9/11 happened, I was in an airplane.
I was airborne at midnight, on Y2K new year's eve (00:00 hours January 1st, 2000).
A small town I lived in had its own currency.

Interesting selection. All plausible. However, I am going to chose #1, the 9/11 plane ride, as the false one.

 

[honestrosewater]

My apologies and sympathies, Rose.

Thanks.

I was airborne at midnight, on Y2K new year's eve (00:00 hours January 1st, 2000).

Lie.

 

[zoobyshoe]

I can do a dead-ringer for Ray Romano.


I can also do an excellent "ominous voiceover for a movie commercial" impression.


My British accent(s) is more in the bad caricature category, but at least it makes me laugh!

Again, I think any claims of excellence in impressions by hypnagogue is probably false, so I pick # 1 as the bigger lie.

 

[hypnagogue]

I want to say the currency one is false, but that seems like a tough one to come up without of thin air. I'll say the second airplane anecdote is false.

 

[EnumaElish]

I was airborne at midnight, on Y2K new year's eve (00:00 hours January 1st, 2000).

Lie.

I'll say the second airplane anecdote is false.

You are both right! That was my brother.

 

[hypnagogue]

Again, I think any claims of excellence in impressions by hypnagogue is probably false, so I pick # 1 as the bigger lie.

I kid you not, my Ray Romano skills (and the movie voiceover impression) have been verified by several independent parties! And it's also not a lie that my British accent is pretty caricature-y, though it seems to me some people really do talk like that. Anyway, to compound the silly accent, when I went up to recite my limerick I announced I'd be doing it in a British accent to make the rhyme scheme work and also because "British accents are funny," which elicited a smattering of hisses and boos from the crowd (a fair amount of Brits there I suppose). Susan Blackmore, sitting in the front row, stood up pointing an accusatory finger and proclaimed "I say boo!" I wish I would have snapped back "Do behave!" but I'm not that quick.

 

[zoobyshoe]

I kid you not, my Ray Romano skills (and the movie voiceover impression) have been verified by several independent parties!

How much did this verification cost?

 

[hypnagogue]

Free I say, free as the wind.

 

[zoobyshoe]

I once put grass in the microwave to see if I could get the nodes to explode.

I once cut a grape in two and put it in the microwave to see if it would spark.

I once put a colored pencil in the microwave to see if I could melt the "lead."

 

[ItNotYourFault]

I say #3 is false

-yomamma

 

[hypnagogue]

I once put grass in the microwave to see if I could get the nodes to explode.

Lies, damn lies.

 

[honestrosewater]

Someone here did the grape one. Everyone knows you can melt the coloring part of a colored pencil. Grass gets my vote. Hm, or maybe zoobies don't know about the colored pencil thing... I give up.

 

[JamesU]

I've put grass in he microwave before...

 

[zoobyshoe]

Yomamma is correct. I have never put a colored pencil in the microwave. The ones I have are prismacolors, for artists, and cost 1.29 apiece, before taxes. It would be dumb to melt one for the hell of it.

 

[honestrosewater]

Yomamma is correct. I have never put a colored pencil in the microwave. The ones I have are prismacolors, for artists, and cost 1.29 apiece, before taxes. It would be dumb to melt one for the hell of it.

That's what I meant. Seriously, I just confused myself during that sentence somehow.
___
I have never seen the Pamela and Tommy Lee video.

I'm becoming rather smitten with someone on PF (but doing my best to resist).

In 7th grade, I pretended not to understand anything in math class so that I could spend extra time with my hot math teacher.

 

[zoobyshoe]

#1 is prolly false.

 

[hypnagogue]

Yeah I'll say #1 as well.

 

[zoobyshoe]

And her crush is on you.

 

[honestrosewater]

Oh, woops, I don't know what's wrong with me. They're all true.