Ibix said:
So the point you are making is that the two inertial frames have different notions of "space", which are non-parallel 3d planes in 4d spacetime. Since my measurement of your three-velocity lies in my spatial plane, and your measurement of my three-velocity lies in your spatial plane, those vectors cannot be parallel.
For simplicity's sake, perhaps we could just observe that if I define my +x direction to be the direction you are going, and you define your -x direction to be the direction that I am going then: our y and z directions coincide (or can be made to coincide); your x and t directions lie in the plane defined by my x' and t' directions and vice versa; we measure equal three velocity magnitudes for each other; we regard those velocities to have opposite signs.
Let's expand on this a bit.
If I aim a laser pointer in the direction that I say you are travelling, and you aim one in the direction you say that I am travelling, every frame will agree that the three-velocities of the two beams are anti-parallel (actually this is restricted to frames moving in the ##\pm x## direction, although similar statements can be constructed in any other frame). This is the sense that people mean when they say that the two velocities are opposite. We are thinking of something like a pair of trains traveling away from each other along a straight track.
However, as
@etotheipi and
@robphy will agree, the three-velocities of those laser beams are not the three-velocities of the two observers. If we state the (correct) usual claim formally, it says that if I define your three-velocity to be ##(\frac{dx}{dt},\frac{dy}{dt},\frac{dz}{dt})=(v,0,0)## then you will define my three velocity to be ##(\frac{dx'}{dt'},\frac{dy'}{dt'},\frac{dz'}{dt'})=(-v,0,0)##. This is correct. However, despite the components being the same with opposite signs, it does not mean that the velocities are opposite because we are not using the same coordinate system. We need to find a way to express your measure of my three-velocity in my coordinate system if we want to compare them.
The way to do that is to note that a spacelike three-vector is three components of a four-vector with the fourth component being zero (this is the same as a two-vector ##(x,y)## in a plane being expressible as a three-vector ##(x,y,0)##). My measure of your three-velocity can be written in my un-primed coordinates as a four-vector ##(0,v,0,0)## (this is a purely spacelike vector lying in my "space" plane, not your four-velocity). Your measure of my three-velocity can be written in your primed coordinates as the four-vector ##(0,-v,0,0)##. Now I should apply the inverse Lorentz transforms to your measure, which maps ##(0,-v,0,0)## to ##(-\gamma v^2/c,-\gamma v,0,0)##. This latter form is in my coordinate system, and is clearly not parallel to ##(0,-v,0,0)##.
So, to summarise, there are good senses in which you and I can be said to be traveling in opposite directions. It is also true that if I say that you have a speed of ##v## in the ##+x## direction then you will say I have a speed of ##v## in the ##-x## direction. However, since we don't share a common definition of "space", we cannot correctly say that our three-velocities (even extending them to four vectors) are anti-parallel. We can only say that they lie in the plane defined by our two four-velocities.