Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if in seeking professional help, your psychiatrist tells you that, at ten years of age, it is normal for a cat to begin talking??
Originally posted by sandinmyears
Q: What do you do if you fly off your handle
Bump into the staircase and fall on the mantel?
In the process of falling break 5 of your toes,
Forgetting the cause that first brought on your woes?
Ride past them on your bike!Originally posted by Astrophysics
What do you do if you get laughed out by all the "cool" kids, while walking on the street on your hands?
*Pulls rope* <<Insert sound of "sputterings" and "gaseous outputs">>Originally posted by megashawn
Ahh damn you broke it, now we got to start all over.
Well, you consult your "I don't know what to do, for dummies" book, and if that fails, you then take a shot at using one of the "Eight Balls" that prognosticates the futur, and if that doesn't work, then you try the idea that, when all else fails, stop trying, by trying something else!Originally posted by megashawn
What do you do if you just don't know what to do?
Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if while typing out your question, you suddenly realize that the question you were about to ask, became the answer that you really just wanted to hear so you couldn't ask the question, because it was the Answer? Huh?
If you think you are completely confused, be warned that there are depths of confusion in this thread that would make your current state seem like distilled water in a crystal wine goblet.What do you do if your sitting on a hot stove holding a pretty girls hand, but long before the expected average of 30 minutes is up, it already seems like an hour?Originally posted by Astrophysics What do you do if you get completely confused in the What do you do if thread?
Interesting you should ask that quetion, because once, back before World War One, I was out in the barn at the anvil trying to bang a hot piece of iron into half of a massive hinge to replace the one on the barn door that had, after years of service, finally succumbed to all the natural forces at work bent on its oxidation, when I noticed my sturdy German Valkyrie-like farmmaiden helper backing away from something I couldn't seeOriginally posted by megashawn What do you do if you drag her across the hot stove?
Funny, this actually happened to me, but it wasn't my German Valkyrie like farm maiden, it was my French Canadian Cleaning lady in that ooooh so short cleaning outfit of hers, backed right into the woodstove's side, and seared her backside right through her undies, heard that osculation is the best remedy for such occurances so I immedaitely offered to perform the healing on her, to great suckcess...Pardon me where was I?, oh yes a "What do you do if" quention...Originally asked by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you notice your German Valkyrie-like farmmaiden helper backing toward a hot forge?
I'd like to try the Aida-like "brow of Egypt", in a seven veils sauce, with a side of belly dancing.What do you do if the master of the brain teaser thread turns out not to realize the difference between a stupid quetion and a what do you do if... question?Originally posted by Robert Zaleski Having finished dessert first, what would you order for the main course?
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
[BWhat do you do if the master of the brain teaser thread turns out not to realize the difference between a stupid quetion and a what do you do if... question? [/B]
Tell everyone your nose is "On Strike" and continue to Pick'it...Originally posted by dduardo
What do you do if you got your finger stuck in your nose?
Clearly, then, she must have mistaken your antics for some kind of David Blaine style endurance test, so you agree to dance and thank her for the opportunity of putting an additional burden on your effort to hold your finger in your nose as long as possible. What do you do if, in fascination with your test of your own will, she decides to put her finger up your other nostril while you are dancing?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if while you are picking your nose, the pretty girl who had watched you hold your hand on a hot stove, comes over to ask you to dance?
Pirrouette!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if, in fascination with your test of your own will, she decides to put her finger up your other nostril while you are dancing?
The pretty girl standing next to me with her finger up my nose handles all spell-checks in a book-form dictionary, so I don't know what to tell you.What do you do if you purchase a recording of the late, great Canadian Pianist, Glenn Gould, performing your favorite Bach, but, try as you might, you cannot hear him humming in the background as usual?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if while awaiting your slooooow computers inability to find a dictionary, in order for you to spell check your work, you give up looking, and just type the one you think it should be, and tell the story asking if it's really O.K. to do that?
Turn up the volume to the point where your tuner and amplifier start to do the hummin for ya!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you purchase a recording of the late, great Canadian Pianist, Glenn Gould, performing your favorite Bach, but, try as you might, you cannot hear him humming in the background as usual?
Resign that "member"ship, and sign on under a new name.Originally posted by Rockdog
What would you do when you threw the snowball, the rabbit dodged it and snapped its jaws tight on your "member"?
"Stew Hairris"Originally posted by Robert Zaleski
What is the name of the cook that cooked the hare stew?
Back on my home planet of Zoobonia this would be considered a perfect time to make some crank phone calls. Once I called the President of Zoobonia and, mimicking his wife's voice, told him to get home because our brush nest was on fire. Then I called his wife and, mimicking his voice, told her to set the brush nest on fire because I'd found lice in my body hair. I hid and watched what happened when he got there and asked her how the fire started. It was better than "I Love Lucy".What do you do if you're lying in bed and a large, hairy arm comes in through the window and starts groping around near your head?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if you are sitting at home with a match, a book, a TV remote control, but no TV, A stereo blasting Acid rock out of six speakers, four police handcuffs sets, and not a clue what to do?
ask the arm peacfull to move ... or object in the security consle.What do you do if you're lying in bed and a large, hairy arm comes in through the window and starts groping around near your head?
Depends on how I expect to die.Originally posted by einsteinian77
Play the piano very fast
What would you do if you had one more day left to live?
Originally posted by einsteinian77
Play the piano very fast
What would you do if you had one more day left to live?
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if all the king's horses and all the king's men can put you back together again, they do, but then make you the love slave of the obese Queen?
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and time how long it seems.What do you do if you're trying to outrun Death, but he's driving a Ferrari?Originally posted by Astrophysics
What do you do if someone posted an anwser without a question and someone else posted a question without an anwser?
Originally posted by zoobyshoe
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and time how long it seems.
What do you do if you're trying to outrun Death, but he's driving a Ferrari?
Tell Neo and friends about this , so that we don't get uncovered.What do you do if you read a question and suddenly it seems u're having a deja-vu?
Use the pen to write out a smiling (means brush your teeth) movie script, sell that to a "Wealthy Movie Mogel", and then, live happily on two dollars a day! for the rest of your life!Originally posted by Zargawee
What do you do if what you have in life was just a used pen, dirty toothbrush, the colthes you're wearing and 2 US Dollars ?
What do you do if you have a headless pumpkin??
At home with the headless wife, Claire, and headless kids watching headless TV, or polishing up the Plymouth Satellite.What do you do if you're strolling around casually on the wing of a jumbo jet in flight, and you notice there's a passenger staring out the window at you in horror?Originally posted by Robert Zaleski
After the pumpkins been patched up where would you find the headless horseman?
Quickly write them a note explaining that, as soon as the plane uses enough of it's fuel, you are going to jump into the fuel tank, to ride out the rest of the trip, in comfort!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if you're strolling around casually on the wing of a jumbo jet in flight, and you notice there's a passenger staring out the window at you in horror?
I would explain to him that you've never enjoyed a cigar so much as one smoked in freefall and then toss him out.Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if the guy next to you in the fuel tank, pulls out a half piece of a 'stoggie' and then asks you for a light!??
Offer them a light!Originally posted by zoobyshoe
What do you do if, when you arrive home you find a flat corpse in your yard with a stogie in its mouth?
what do you do if you ask what to do on this thread and their answer is, "you get on the internet and ask what to do on this thread?"
Smile alot, and ask, where do you spend those paycheques?Originally posted by phoenixthoth
what do you do if after you die, you find yourself in a never-ending "got milk" commercial?
You could start your own little corner of the afterlife called "Thothen" and start refusing people entry according to your whims. What do you do if you take the top off the garbage can to put the trash in and a six-legged, hard-shelled creature with a face like Robert DeNiro and a tail like a gila monster skitters out and crawls under the house?Originally posted by phoenixthoth
what do you do if heaven refuses you since you don't have a soul anymore and the buyer won't refund your money in exchange for your soul back?
You call upon the 'Great Pumpkin' to rise up out of the Pumpkin Patch and slay the Insectizoidial lizardlike'asaurus by raining down upon it's corporealness a shower of pumkin seeds, as to inudate THE THING to immobility!Originally asked by a running, and frightened, zoobyshoe
What do you do if you take the top off the garbage can to put the trash in and a six-legged, hard-shelled creature with a face like Robert DeNiro and a tail like a gila monster skitters out and crawls under the house?
You donate the carcass to the world famous Museum Of Strange And DeNiroesque Phenomena (Ivan Seeking's cousin, Igor Seeking is the head docent there, by the way), in exchange for a free pass to the world famous Museum Of Strange And Brandoesque Phenomena next door (alot of fat things in there).What do you do if a tree falls over in the woods right in front of you and doesn't make the slightest sound?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if once imobile, and covered with pumpkin seeds, (directly from the "Great Pumpkin" himself!) you realize that you have no place to make a Bar B'Q?
Remove your earphones! whatelse!Originally posted by a silent zoobyshoe
What do you do if a tree falls over in the woods right in front of you and doesn't make the slightest sound?
Then you know that you are in a remake of "The Birds" with an all-Woodpecker cast.What do you do if you forget to feed the neighbor hood stray cat and you wake up one morning to find him maniacally chewing on your arm?Originally posted by Mr. Robin Parsons
What do you do if when you remove your earphones and the hearing protection stops, you are suddenly met with a cacophony of deliterious noises that are 'tattooing' your eardrums??
