What is the reality of finding a perfect partner?

[The_Professional]

i always thought the 6-eyelet steel toed boot was the best, though it's rare to find one these days except ebay.

 

[honestrosewater]

yeah, I've heard that. you're getting cuter and more attractive every time you open your le... I mean mouth.

Why would me opening my mouth not also imply sex? Nevermind, no need to answer; I don't want to embarrass anyone.

 

[ShawnD]

Why would me opening my mouth not also imply sex? Nevermind, no need to answer; I don't want to embarrass anyone.

Because what normally procedes opening of the mouth is "now where's my $50?", right Trib?

 

[Astronuc]

cute - endearing

pretty/attractive - pleasant to look at

beautiful - very pleasant to look at

very beautiful - most beautiful - I could look into her eyes for a lifetime and beyond, to the end of time - and we'd make more time.

hot - look, but don't touch. Actually, I wouldn't be interested. A woman or man who has to advertise indicates problems, e.g. low self-esteem, needy, poor judgement, potentially superficial relationship.

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

Well to be honest people who ask the question: what is wrong with men?: usually should also ask in equal measure what is wrong with themselves, that said it's quite obvious with the length of this thread that there is an awful lot wrong with men , but then if you started a thread, what is wrong with women I would imagine it would be just as long. And their in lies the rub

As you get older you try and look past beauty as a guy, but then some drop dead gorgeous babe walks in the room and your default 14 year old teenager behaviour kicks in. No matter how well reasoned are your arguments, there are just going to be some women - and I'm sure this is true in the oposite situation - that just turn you into a gibbering fool. And long may this remain so:!)

 

[quantumcarl]

I once watched a television show/documentary about a couple, where the girl developed a brain tumor after dating this guy for a month. She told him she'd understand if he wouldn't want to date her anymore, he told her she was crazy. He stuck with her through her illness and ended up marrying her.

Hi Monique... its been a very long time since I saw your cute configurations of the alphabet!

After a month on the cell phone with her new boy friend I don't doubt that the girl got a brain tumour.

Look what happened to lawyer Jonny Cochrane... and we all know how much lawyers use a cell.

If the guy told the girl she was "crazy" I hope he wasn't referring to a condition that can arise from a brain tumour... or that she didn't take it that way.

Sticking with someone through trying times is a great way to bond with them. This is probably the way many couples make it... through good and bad and rich and poor etc... as in marrage.

Once I was with a "brain tumour patient" on the roof of the clinic where I worked. I had been studying the effects of colour on tumours. The most effective colour for shrinking them is red... a pure and perfect red pigment or light.

I told him to paint his room red or to spend time under a rich red light every day... preferably with this head exposed. I don't know what happened to him after that. I didn't see him around anymore. Its hard to know if someone will just write off what you've said as Crockery or if they'll get the colour wrong or any billion of other variables. But, things progress as it is. Good to see you!

 

[honestrosewater]

Well to be honest people who ask the question: what is wrong with men?: usually should also ask in equal measure what is wrong with themselves

By the way, the title was just a joke, in case anyone missed that.

 

[Astronuc]

By the way, the title was just a joke, in case anyone missed that.

I would hope by now it's obvious the title was tongue-in-cheek.

Schrodinger's Dog has a good point - what is wrong with themselves - but the important questions are: 1) what do I want in a relationship, and 2) what do I have to offer and will offer in a relationship. One must be congizant of one's needs and wants, and also what another's needs and wants are.

The needs and wants also change with age.

Teenagers are in the stage of going from being fully dependent children to independent adults, while simultaneously dealing with the development of sexuality. And therein lies many of the problems.

Young adults are either starting jobs or obtaining advanced education leading to better careers. Still they are dealing with issues from childhood and sexual tension. Then there is the issue of teenagers having children.

At some point, adults get married and that often leads to children. Here a secure relationship is vital - and unfortunately 60% of first marriages fail. It is more troubling when children are involved, because one spouse, usually the mother is left struggling to raise the children.

Even if a marriage is successful, once the children are nearing maturity, adults find themselves older. In relationships which have deferred issues to raise the children, old problems arise with new ones, and needs and wants may have changed.

Then the children leave, and two parents are again alone, 20+ years older than when the children were born. It takes a good relationship from the very beginning to sustain a long term marriage.

Also the needs of men and women vary with age. Older men wanting children for the first time, will want younger women. Older women beyond a certain age may not want children, or face increasing health risk if they try to have children. And then there is issue of an older parent raising an infant and young child. It does happen, and it can be successful.

Men and women in their late 50's and on may simply be looking more for companionship, and perhaps there are still those who still need 'someone to take care of them.'

Just some thoughts to consider.

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

yeah I see it as being jokey but at the same time if you're are asking that question even in jest (where many a true word is spoken) then as is so often the case with loaded questions your going to have to ask yourself why you asked it in the first place. As far as I see it(no expert in relationships myself by a long, long shot) most people start off with preconcieved notions of what they want out of a man or a woman that a man or woman never lives up to. We learn slowly to accept that our true love is not going to wander into our lives every day we feel lonely.

Relationships are about compromise as I said before. Finding that perfect match takes a lot of hard work for most, sometimes Juliet or Romeo wanders into your life and you get married age 14 and sometimes you get married age 50. Just seems to be the way it works.