honestrosewater said:
I actually haven't been "looking". I was just looking ahead. Right now, I don't want any kind of relationship other than a friendship. Or rather, I already classify all (voluntary) relationships as friendships, as based on (or having as their goal) utility, pleasure, or character. (If anyone recognizes Aristotle in any of this, it's not a coincidence; I do tend to agree with and turn to him more than I agree with and turn to others, and if you know him, you probably know something about me too.) The "best" type is based on character, where you recognize the other as a good person and want to make them happy and help them develop as a person for their own good, and so on... it's pretty predictable stuff, I think. I think sex is what causes most of the problems. Perhaps it's that people, in general or perhaps only in my experience, don't question assumptions about sex enough. That I avoided even mentioning anything much about sex until now just futher convinces me of that, since I'm normally pretty much completely open and unabashed when it comes to anything regarding sex -- and I love questioning implicit assumptions. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't talk about it. Does it make people uncomfortable? Does anyone think it's inappropriate to discuss in public? Why?
As for friendship. My wife and I started out as friends among a larger group of friends. Our forum was the house of mutual friends who were living together. We used to get together for dinners or parties on a Friday or during the weekend (I was living about 90 miles away). Various members of the group were musicians, so we often sat around listening to music. However, all folks were in university or had graduated, and the group would get involved in discussions, much like the ones seen throughout PF - GD, P&WA, and various matters on science.
My wife, at the time a divorcee who had returned to finish university, and I would get into some interesting discussions (I was studying nuclear engineering and she was anti-nuclear), and gradually she and I would separate from the group and just talk - for hours. I usually helped in the kitchen with cooking and then washing dishes and cleaning after dinner. So my wife would join me in the kitchen and we both worked together - and talk.
We started dating - and the communication continued. Three months after we started dating, I proposed and she accepted. Since I was still living 90 miles from where she was living, we could only see each other on weekends and holidays/school breaks, and we more or less lived together (as much we could) while we were engaged, and finishing school. We got married about two weeks after we graduated, and then we went to graduate school together.
There is usually a certain sensitivity when discussing initimacy in public. Sexual intimacy should not be a 'problem' IF the couple involved communicates. Communication is the key in any relationship. Lack of communication is probably the root cause of most problems in a relationship.
honestrosewater said:
would the person you might want a relationship with have any special properties? If so, would those properties make them tend to frequent certain places? If so, go to those places and get the message out. I don't know though... makes sense to me, but I don't really have any experience there yet.
As for special properties - I needed a woman with whom I could share my thoughts and who would be my best friend. Obviously, we had to share certain goals and expectations, e.g. career and family. I guess I was very lucky and I found the right woman. Keep in mind, it has not been perfect. We have had ups and downs - but - we have stayed together and worked things through.
Men (or boys, really) were always just around before.
And they always will be.
honestrosewater said:
I don't know if I fit anyone's expectations. Why do I seem cute? Anything in particular that you're aware of?
I think you probably do fit some men's expectations or hopes or dreams. HRW - your questions, comments and sense of humor are endearing.
If I was unmarried at this point in my life, I would probably being looking on PF for a woman (actually I know I would) based on the level of thoughtfulness and intelligence expressed by many women here (particluarly the sisters). My age would limit my selection.
honestrosewater said:
Um, that wasn't all aimed at you either. Hm. I guess I'm not very good at explaining or talking about this stuff yet. Um, yeah.
I don't know anything.
That's cute, and your postings indicate that you know many things.
I'm finally back to being myself again. (For better or for worse... 
That's just my way of saying that I'm sad and frustrated because I'd like to not be alone for the rest of my life, but I don't know what to do about it.