What is the smudge on Joe Biden's forehead?

[WhoWee]

How does a person know what sins they're going to commit Saturday night?

Then again, they probably couldn't remember them Sunday morning, either.

Of course, if one were sly...

Tommy went to confession and told the priest: "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I partook of the forbidden fruit of a fair maiden."

Father: "Oh, you got to learn to resist the temptation, son. Was it Rebecca?"

Tommy: "No, father, I'd rather not say."

Father: "Well, I think 10 Hail Mary's will take care of what you've already done, but you have to promise to be watch out for the allures of evil women. Was it Elizabeth?"

Tommy: "No, father, I don't really think it's my place to talk about the girl. Not nice to kiss and tell, and all that, you know."

Father: "Well, that's a good thing, I guess. But, some of the young ladies around here are nothing but trouble, so you got to watch out. Besides, I'll bet it Theresa, anyway."

After the confession, Tommy's friend, Paddy, asked, "What in the world took you so long. It's not like you've anything worth confessing. You should have been in and out in about 30 seconds."

Tommy: "Maybe I haven't been so lucky in the past, but I've got at least 3 leads for tonight, though."

You can learn a lot around here...